family/work conflict

[JAK]

I need to vent my frustration and guilt!!!

Just found out that there is a NAEYC conference here in CA in November and the preschool will pay for us to go. (Pay for the conference, airfare, hotel and food. I'm not sure if they are paying us to attend as well.) I REALLY want to go. Dh and the dks don't have a problem with me going (I'd be gone 5 days). The problem is that my mom and step-dad had already bought plane tickets to be here at our house during that time frame. The weekend before the conference, my step-dad's family is having a family reunion 25 miles from our house. So my parents thought they would stay with us the following week and visit. The kids will be in school 3 of those days. I talked to my mom and she said to go to the conerence and take advantage of anything and everything they offer me. I told her I felt bad because I have only seen her 2 times in the past 3 1/2 years and not that we are close, but I was looking forward to spending time with her. She retires in Jan. and says she'll visit more then. In all honesty, I don't believe her one bit. I talked to dh tonight to see what he thought about me leaving my parents here with him and the kids and me being gone. he told me to do what I wanted to do. He frustrates me at times. I wanted to know how he would feel about it and I got no response. I said I thought it would be weird- he agreed, but said he didn't care and would do it if I wanted to go. Don't get me wrong, he gets along with my parents, but I'd be leaving my parents here for 5 days with my family and not me. I'd still see them for 4 days, including the family reunion. Would you go and leave your dh at home with your parents?

Also, is anyone else going to the NAEYC conference this Nov? Just wondering if any of you PreK or K teachers are going? Maybe we could finally meet!

[JeannieOR]

I think I would go I if I knew that my parents and my dh got along. I would feel kind of funny about but I'd do my best to get over it. ...But that's me.

I know if my husband had a conferance that was related to his job and he left me with his parents I wouldn't be thrilled about it but I'd understand.

[AnnW]

Originally posted by JeannieOR
.

I know if my husband had a conferance that was related to his job and he left me with his parents I wouldn't be thrilled about it but I'd understand.



Exactly! If the shoe were on the other foot, what would happen?
I would do it, feel weird to, but do it.

[MaryL]

Ditto to what Jeannie and Ann said. The NAEYC conference is a good time, and for your line of work, a great place to gather ideas and information.

What about putting together a couple of "day trips" for your parents? Like getting tickets for an interesting event (zoo/museum/show/etc.) and adding gift certificates for various dinner locations. Help your dh by giving your parents ideas of things to do...and maybe they won't be hanging around the house as much. KWIM?

I'm not attending the NAEYC conference this year. I went the year that it was in Milwaukee...and also one year when it was in Chicago.

[JAK]

It's actually happened quite often that people have planned trips to see us and dh has been deployed. So it's me by myself with whoever it is that is visiting.

My parents already have things planned that they want to do, so I know they won't be sitting around bugging him. They even will have a rental car and have access to the base without us.

It will be strange, but I have pretty much decided to go.

[Diane]

Originally posted by JAK
It's actually happened quite often that people have planned trips to see us and dh has been deployed. So it's me by myself with whoever it is that is visiting.

My parents already have things planned that they want to do, so I know they won't be sitting around bugging him. They even will have a rental car and have access to the base without us.

It will be strange, but I have pretty much decided to go.

I'm glad you decided to go... It's not like you won't be seeing them at all. I'm sure they'll keep themselves busy with their own things and your dh won't have to worry about them being bored. :) Have fun!!!

Diane...

[Cathy]

Originally posted by JAK

Also, is anyone else going to the NAEYC conference this Nov? Just wondering if any of you PreK or K teachers are going? Maybe we could finally meet!

If I can get my agency to pay, I'd love to go..........but I really don't plan to be working there that long. (if they come up with a ticket, I could be persuaded............LOL)

[imamama]

IMO I think it's great you decided to go. Like you and everyone else said, if the shoe was on the other foot....
And you've been there, done that, so why shouldn't you take full advantage of the opportunity given you? If anything, it will give your dk's time with them, and it doesn't sound like dh minds either way (though I do feel your frustration that he won't come off with a definitive answer!!). Go, enjoy yourself, enjoy this opportunity and have a great time, and who knows, you might even be able to meet Cathy!! :D

[Cathy]

Originally posted by imamama
Go, enjoy yourself, enjoy this opportunity and have a great time, and who knows, you might even be able to meet Cathy!! :D

Geez, Amy! Way to scare her off! Just the kind of support she needs.

Jen, I probably won't go. I have heard that the conferences are wonderful, and that the ideas and information are very useful. Since your dh is okay with it, take the opportunity!! I don't think it should be about your mom, the kids, the past, etc. (But that's easy for me so say, huh? I do speak the language of guilt, so I hear your struggle.)

[imamama]

Originally posted by Cathy
Geez, Amy! Way to scare her off! Just the kind of support she needs.

ROFL Smart@$$!!!!

[vea29]

I'm glad you decided to go...It's not like this oppertunity will come around often...You may get the chance to go but who nows if they'll pay again. I would totally take the chance while I had it...Those are supposed to be great conference.

If you ever want a great day conference. There is one that alway come here by "Appplebaum" They are great and is usually a saturday.