Ds and math revisited

[PamE]

Here we go again! I need opinions/advice on the situation with ds at school. He is in resource/pull-out for a couple of hours each day. His resource/Special Ed teacher has been working with him on basic addition and subtraction for three or four years now. Years. They've tried using manipulatives, number lines, touch math and different things and he still just doesn't grasp the concept of any of it. He'll give you a different answer each time you give him a problem to do. In a nutshell he can't add 2+2 or subtract 7-3.

Here's my dilemma.... the resource teacher just sent home ds's homework for the week and it is two digit addition, with carrying! :banghead: Am I missing something here? Do you not have to understand basic addition before you move on to something more complex? This isn't the first time this has happened and I think that's why it's so frustrating to me. It happened all last year as well, even after I pointed out that he couldn't do it. To me it's like telling someone to bake an apple pie when they don't have a clue what an apple is! I know I'm venting, ranting and raving, but if I'm way out of line then I need to know it. I'm calling tomorrow to set up an IEP meeting but I want to know if I have a legitimate complaint before I bring up these concerns. I'd really like them to help him memorize the +/- facts now and hope that the concept comes later. It just seems like he needs to have that foundation before they try anything else. (He is doing other math that isn't related to +\- but isn't getting anywhere with that, either)

I know I get all prickly and mother bear-ish when it comes to stuff like this, so I need someone else's perspective.

[Amy]

Pam I feel for your frustration. My ds is on an IEP and I am constantly monitoring and in touch with his team-not because they are doing anything wrong, but I am the leader of the team.

It helped tenfold when I signed up to volunteer in his class once a week (for a hour). I got to know the teacher extremely well and always touched base with the speech, special ed, psychologist and principal on the way out. They would always fill me in on that week's progress. The key for me is to be their friend and grateful for all they are trying to do for ds. And in return, they go that extra mile for him because they know me and LOVE him. LOL

My advice is to get in the middle of it all. Call the IEP meeting and then see if you can volunteer in the school (if you have the time-once a week). I would imagine it is very hard to monitor your son's progess from the sidelines. That would drive me crazy too!

[JAK]

(((Pam))) I know that this is very frustrating for you. You do have a legitimate complaint. Set up a meeting an talk to them. I like Amy's idea of volunteering. Is that something you could do without disrupting ds?

[PamE]

I have voluteered in his classes in the past, before ds2 was born and before we started homeschooling dd2. I don't feel it's something I can do now that we're hsing both girls. I explained that to his new teacher when we went in to meet her before school started and she understood. I also told her that I was available to help out with any prep work she wanted to send home with ds for me to do in the evenings and that I'm always available by phone.

It's sad to me to see things the way they are. The program used to be wonderful and we could see real progress. Now it seems as though they're not as concerned with his development as they used to be and are just doing minimal work with him. He was supposed to have a re-eval in February and it still hasn't been done. I feel like he's being cheated and needs more than the bare necessities he's getting. At this point the "team" spirit is nothing like it was at the beginning and I miss that. I waver between wanting to tell it like it is and fear that I'll make it worse if I do. Dh is coming to the IEP meeting with me, which will be good. He's not quite as reluctant to step on toes if need be, and he's a lot calmer than I am.

[KarlaB]

Pam - Sorry you're going thru this - how frustrating and disheartening...wish I had a magic cure for you. :( I do think you have reason to be concerned and hopefully mtg with them will get things back to where they should be. Good luck!!

Amy - Love your idea of volunteering so you're there firsthand!

[Melody]

I think there is a problem where the teacher just isn't getting 'it'. If I were you, I would not worry about anyones toes but my childs. If they are not doing what they said they would, especially about the re-eval.then I would demand it get done. I would also call them on it about the lack of support your son has been recieving.
I will be doing the same thing with oldest ds this year (IEP) and I don't plan on worrying about toes. I have had a few "chats" with the teachers at his school in the past and have basically told the principal she wasn't doing enough in a certain area but I don't care. If they don't do there job then what are they getting paid for? This year we get a new principal so we'll see how things go with him.
Anyhow, I think you have real concern and it should be brought up in the meeting. It's not fair to your son to have these math sheets IMO. Does he have a learning disability that the teacher isn't aware of? We just did the psychoeducational testing and are doing a few other tests to help ds further. It was so worth getting it done.

[Judy]

I'd make sure that the director of special education be present at the meeting if this is not the first time this has been discussed.

I don't know how the program works where you are, but here there is one lead teacher, and then teacher aides. The aides need no formal training in special education, yet they are the ones who are working one-on-one with the kids.

You might also have to consider the fact that his current school may not be capable of providing a program that is suitable for your son, in which case the district is responsible to placing him in an alternate program out of dristrict, picking up the tab for the necessary program and transportation to and from that program.

Also, keep in mind that you have A LOT of say in what is involved in his program. Listen to their ideas, take time to formulate your opinion, and speak it...Demand what is best for your son.

[imamama]

I don't think you're ranting by any means, and you most certainly have the right to vent a frustration of this magnitude. Sounds like you've gotten some really good advice from others, and you're being proactive with the situation, so keep it up. It's unfortunate that you have to keep saying the same things over and over and over, but in this case, sounds like you need to. You are most definitely doing what's best for ds and you shouldn't think twice about standing up and making yourself heard, after all, you know what's best for ds. I hope you can get it to all work out, I'm sure it will, you're determined enough to see that things are done right for your ds, so if anything, he's in good hands with you!!! Hope that helps some! :)

[PamE]

I called in to request the IEP and should get the paperwork today. Hopefully it will take place quickly.

We have the same set-up here, Judy. Ds works one on one with the SE teacher. The aids usually only walked him to and from the bus. They may have worked with him in the classroom occasionally, but not with any pull-out work. Last year was this SE teacher's first year and things haven't been quite right since she started. I really like her as a person, but don't feel that her teaching skills are where they need to be.

The SE director is always at the IEP meetings and I'm very grateful for that. She was the one who evaluated him originally and was even his speech therapist for about three years, so she knows him fairly well. Though contact has tapered off in the past couple of years I still trust her more than anyone else to know what he needs. It should be the SE director, SE teacher, speech therapist, physical/ot and his teacher. The principal participated one year which (in my oh so humble opinion :lol: ) was a waste of time! We have a new principal this year, so we'll see what she decides to do.

I'll let ya'll know what ends up happening at the IEP.

[Judy]

Just a thought here...try to think of your son's two or three favorite things and see if you can find a way to bring math into those things.

For instance, the boy I worked with had a horrible speech delay. At 7years old the only words he could say were mommy, bus and apple. Needless to say, he was put into speech class five days a week. Two days a week they were private lessons, but the other three days were group lessons. In these group lessons were kids between the ages of 7 through 10. The boys that I worked with was also autistic, so the group activities were so totally above his level and he was getting nothing out of them at all.

This little boy loved playing on the computer and it was used as a reward for him at the end of the day. But after a little investigating, I was able to find a computer speech program that the teacher and I thought would be appropriate for him. So instead of him going to group speech those three days where he was getting nothing out of the program, he was able to use get his speech through a computer program, doing something he loved.

I think I suggested this to you before, but everyone was thinking of Roger Rabbit type programs that you can find in any store. But there are other programs designed for kids with delays which have different approaches and are not the typical kinds of programs you find at toy or the designer teaching stores that have showed up latey.

I would have never thought there were speech programs which required verbal responses through microphones that would work, but if you talk to his teacher, she most likely has some brochures with all kinds of things designed for kids who need special help that go beyond the regular things that we all think of. If you look through it, you might find something that will work with your son that the new teacher didn't think about. You know him well, and she's only known him for a short time and doesn't know his likes and dislikes the way you go.

[PamE]

We had the IEP meeting today. Dh took the day of (thank goodness), so it was he and I, the SE director, the principal (she's new and I really like her!), his speech teacher, his SE teacher, regular teacher, and the psychologist at the meeting. It took two and a half hours, but I think (hope) that there's been some progress made in what direction to take with him.

His test scores haven't improved any over the years, but they haven't declined, either, which is a good sign. He still scores in the Mentally Retarded range (with a test IQ of 57), but that's not an accurate reading. It's just the way he presents himself. Reading is his strongest point, but he still only tests at a beginning 2nd grade level. We've come to the conclusion that he's an auditory learner. Any other "style" seems to either distract him to the point where he can't function, or he stresses and withdraws.

Anyway, they're going to start pulling him out for SE for half the day, instead of the 2+ hours per day they're doing now. They're going to start focusing on teaching him life skills and finding ways to work with his strengths. He really isn't functioning at a classroom level and I'm going to recommend (read demand) that he be moved to a different class. His teacher is really nice, but he really needs more structure than what he gets there.

It was depressing on one level, but we're grateful for the ideas we got and for the re-direction the team got through this process. Hopefully we'll see some progress now.

[AnnW]

It sounds like you had a thorough IEP. I hope you can get him all the attention he needs!

[Melody]

Glad you made some progress in the IEP. I hope you find a positive difference with the new changes.