Death of a teacher.....

[RCT]

ds came home from school today telling me that his PE teacher, Mrs. O conner died...well, my son is only five, and tends to tell stories, so I said "really, well how did you feel about that? " he told me he was really sad, but they explained it all to the class and she was really old, and sick.......well....later while empting out his back pack, we found the paper, and she did die....how horrible.....we talked about it together over dinner, and he said" its ok mommy, cuz she is in heaven now, with your mommy..." Kids...they say the darnest things, and I thought this was going to be a hard talk......I also didn't really believe him about the teacher dying....since his friend Johnny is moving next to the firehouse everday...LOL.......there will be no school on Friday, and they have councelors on the school premises all week....very sad news I must say....

I will keep her family in my thoughts and prayers....

[darlene]

How sad. Our school lost a young teacher 2 months ago....in a car accident so it was a total shock to all.
My advice is to not dwell on it with him....I know it really didn't affect our two younger kids and oldest dd somewhat more, but let him guide you as to what he wants to know or discuss.
Sometimes I think bringing in grief counsellors does the students more harm than good..... by making them think that they should feel something that they may not. We need to remember that everyone grieves in different ways.
Our school had a memorial service for the teacher (she was only twenty eight yrs old) one afternoon at school. My middle dd didn't go (all students had the option of not attending), she was worried she would cry....bless her heart!

:)

[KarlaB]

How sad! :( Glad your ds seems to be handling it okay. I'll also keep her and her family in my thoughts and prayers. Hope your ds continues to handle it okay.

[JAK]

How very sad.

Last year our school secretary's husband died. She had worked there for years and most of the staff knew her well and it was announced through out the school. DD was really upset about it for a little bit just becasue she didn't really understand. The secretary took the rest of the year off and them came back in the fall. In a way it was a good teaching about death moment for my dd because she didn't know him, but she saw how it effected others and that really bothered her.

Anyway, I hope your ds continues to do well.

[Diane]

How sad for your ds... I'm glad to hear that he is handling it okay. It's so hard for young children to understand what death means and what it's really all about. I know a few of my little ones are still asking me where Garfield is (they really miss him)... even though they've been told many times that he won't be coming back because he died. Most of them are only 2 to 3 years old, so it's really hard for them to understand. It's too bad they have to experience death at such of a young age but then again, at the same time I guess it's good to say that it's better that his first experience was with somebody that wasn't TOO close to him. I hope he continues to do okay Renee.

Diane... :wave:

[Lynda/WA]

One of DS's classmate's Dad died when they were in first grade. He took it fairly well. The teacher read a book about death and while the little girl was out of school they discussed how to react when she was back. They put together a basket of donated items - mainly little toys - to give to her. At home we talked about how kids parents don't usually die but it can happen. I can't remember the specifics but I gave him examples of things that *could* happen but he had never seen and explained that was sort of like DH or I dying. That reassured him he didn't need to worry for himself.

The next year DS saw the movie Jungle Book with Rosie O'Donnell in it. I was a little surprised when he became worried what would happen to him if DH and I died from watching a cartoon were it was only a small part. He didn't point blank start by saying he was worried about himself. He sort of lead into it by waiting until I was kissing him goodnight. then he told me how the boy didn't have any parents and no-one to take care of him. I could tell he was worrying that it could happen to him. When I told him he and Kytaira would go live with his Aunt Renea, he said *But I don't know how to get to her house! (she lives in WI). After I assured him she would come here and get them he relaxed. plus I reassured him that while I couldn't promise nothing would happen that it was so unlikely he didn't need to worry.

I agree with a couple of the others. Sometimes grief counselors can make matters worse. SIL is a teacher. When one of their teachers died of cancer after a long battle they had all kinds of people involved. It seemed to me the adults needed it more than the kids. Same with when I had a teacher die. Two died while I was in HS and a third nearly died when I was in 1st. The kids were all sad but not to the point of needing outside help. It was much worse when a classmate or a classmates parent died. I think we were all relating to them on a more personal level because we could imagine it happening to us. Probably like the fellow teachers can relate more to a co-worker than the students. Similar age group and all that.

I'll keep her family and friends in my thoughts and prayers. Hope your DS continues to deal with this so well.

[MaryL]

How sad :(

One of my kindergartners last year died during the school year (from leukemia)...counselors were brought in to my classroom, but I think the children handled it wonderfully and honestly. It was the adults who needed the counselors!

[Leigh]

How sad. I am glad that the kids seem to be taking it well. Will keep the family and children in my prayers.