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JAK
01-05-2005, 04:39 PM
Boy am I saying the serenity prayer to myself over and over again. This morning was going great. My non-talker was back to her normal self. Threw a few fits when she didn't get her way, played, threw some toys and was just herself. I was sitting on the couch feeding the baby and my non-talker was at my feet on one side of the coffee table. My other dck was on the other side of the coffee table. Both girls were quietly looking at books. Without warning, my non-talker picked up a book and threw it at the other little girl (she's 19 months old) and hit her in the forehead. In a matter of seconds she had a huge goose egg on her head. I was so mad I was SHAKING. I love my babies (they are sisters) and I don't want to loose them. I don't know if I posted this already, but yesterday I talked to the babies mom and she said that she had actually considered pulling the girls out of my care because of my non-talker. The 19 month old has started acting like my non-talker at home and the parents don't like that and I don't blame them at all.
After the little one got hurt I realized that would probably be the last straw for her parents and they really would pull them out of my care. I called the 19 mo old's mom and told her what happened and also told her that I was terminating care immeditely (sp? ) with my non-talker. The mom then told me that this morning she thought she saw the non-talker hit her dd in the head but thought that I would just take care of it if I saw it happen again. She then went to her car and sat there for a while before she left wondering what might happen if my non-talker hit her dd in the head with a big toy. She must have had some sort of mother's intuition (sp? ) because it was just a few hours later that it actually happened. The mom was upset and I can understand why.
I then called the non-talkers mom and told her what happened and told her she needed to come get her dd now and that she I was not going to allow her to come back to my home. She was upset and crying on the phone. When she came to get her she told my that just right before I called her she had been on the phone with the lady I had refered her to about testing her dd. She said the lady said it sounded like my non-talker may have sensory perseption (sp? ) disorder. I should have asked her if she had made an appointment to have her tested, but I didn't. I could tell she was upset and I was upset too. Her dd was clueless about what was going on and just thought she was going home for the day. One of her parents has to come back tonight to sign an accident report for the dc office and to p/u her stuff. I am so upset about the whole thing. I really wanted to help her but I can't risk loosing my other kids (especially the babies, who are sisters, that I love). I also can't risk having her hurting anyone ever again and she's consistantly throwing things. I feel really bad, but I know I did what I had to do...
Please pray for this little girl and hope that her parents get her the help that she so desperatly needs.

AnnW
01-05-2005, 04:53 PM
How incredibly sad all the way around!!!

imamama
01-05-2005, 05:19 PM
(((((((Jen))))))) So sorry this happened today. How awful, like Ann said, for all involved. You did such a great thing by taking a chance on her. As you said, you did what's right, but that doesn't make it any easier. :( I was so hoping the parents would get on the ball and get her evaluated. Are the sisters staying for sure? If you're not 100% sure, call the mom now and tell her that your non-talker will not be back, so please let you continue keeping her dd's b/c you adore them.
I hope the non-talkers parents follow through and find out what needs to be done for her. If not, what are they going to do when she gets to school? Schools can't terminate her education with them (maybe they can, don't know for sure!!), and even if she's in Special Ed classes, she'll still probably act up.
Are there any special needs dc providers around? Maybe you could check and call the parents if you find one. That might ease you a little bit.
I admire you so much for not wanting to give up on the little girl. You have so much compassion. Please don't let this incident take that away. I know you won't let it, but sometimes it helps to hear (or read!) encouragement!

stasee31
01-05-2005, 06:13 PM
((Jen)) You did the right thing for everyone involved. I hope the parents still go thru with the testing and this sensory thing is what is wrong that can be treated in a special needs DC. Hope tomorrow is better for you!

Beth/TX
01-05-2005, 06:14 PM
What a sad situation. I hope she gets the help she needs. Try not to let it get to you. You tried everything possible to make it all work.

littlesista06
01-05-2005, 06:37 PM
I am so sorry, Jen. You've got a heart of gold and it's sad this didn't work out.
I hope the child can/will get some help.
((((((hugs)))))))

JAK
01-05-2005, 07:11 PM
Are the sisters staying for sure? If you're not 100% sure, call the mom now and tell her that your non-talker will not be back, so please let you continue keeping her dd's b/c you adore them.

I actually told the sister's mom that I was terminating the non-talker before I told the non-talkers mom as I called her first after her child was hurt. I think she knows how much I love her little girls because I have told her so.

JAK
01-05-2005, 07:14 PM
Thank you ladies for the kind words. I feel so bad that this has happened.

Amy- there are no special needs providers and NO ONE wants this little girl in their home. I really was their last hope. We have a few new providers starting soon. Maybe one of them will take her... or maybe her dad will stay home with her again.

vea29
01-05-2005, 07:22 PM
Sorry It didn't all work out....I'm still very impressed with the way you handled it all. I've seen big Centers not willing to terminate because they did not wat to loss the money....In turn alot of dcks got hurt and then the parents pulled them because of it.

Diane
01-05-2005, 07:45 PM
I was so hoping that it would work out... I hope this lady realizes just how lucky she was that you took her daughter in the first place (with the reputation she had) and tried so hard to make this work. IMHO you went way beyond the call of duty on this one and you deserve a good pat on the back for being such of a dedicated provider!!

I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, but hopefully this little girl will now get the help she needs (which probably wouldn't even be happening if not for you) and things will start looking up for them. You should feel very good about everything you did for them... (((HUGS)))

Diane...

BevJ
01-05-2005, 07:49 PM
It is sad all the way around. I'm sorry you had to terminate her after the progress you were making, but I can understand wanting your other dck's to be safe.

PamE
01-06-2005, 08:37 AM
Jen, I think it's great the way you've tried to work around the problems stemming from this little girl's issues. I wish someone had told me earlier to get help for ds. You've done a great thing!

JAK
01-06-2005, 08:44 AM
Thanks again ladies.

I have such mixed emotions right now. I'm so sad that she won't be here because I know she needs to be here to get the help she needs. I'm also happy though to have a day where I don't have to worry about "what might happen" or if she'll have a good day.

I still have all of her stuff and mom had told me yesterday that one of them would be by last night to pick it up but they didn't show up. I'd call them, but I think I will let them make that move as they are probably really upset right now. They just moved and I don't have their current address so I can't drop it off at their house either.

Melody
01-06-2005, 08:47 AM
((Jen)) I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you had hoped it would.

Marla
01-06-2005, 04:21 PM
(((Jen))), You did the best you could