Need help with a dc parent

[JAK]

I know you ladies will be able to help...

The little girls I watch are now 10 months and 2 yrs (this week). Their mom works from home for a computer company (I'm not sure what she does) and dad just left last month and will be gone for 1 year. Mom is really having a hard time. She's always been a little late in dropping the girls off in the morning, but the past 2 weeks she's really having a hard time getting here. Last night she called and said the girls would be here at 6:30 because she had a 7:00 call (basically a meeting). She wasn't here by 7 so I called her and asked her if she wanted me to come pick the girls up (I've never done that before or even offered, but I know she's having a rough time) She said no, that she'd be here after she got done with her call. She got here about 7 minutes to 8:00. She said "I hate my job, I really wish I could quit!" I feel so bad for her. She has a lot on her plate right now. I know what a pain it was when my dh was gone for a year, but my dks were older and I didn't work either. I told her that maybe she could just work part time and to maybe think about that. When I interviewed with them in Oct, I had said that I didn't want to do part time infant care, but at this point I'd be willing to do it for their family because I don't need the $ that bad and I LOVE the girls. What do I do or what can I say to make things easier on her?

[AnnW]

What do I do or what can I say to make things easier on her?



how about just that.......

i have been in your shoes and know what it's like, is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?

[JAK]

how about just that.......

i have been in your shoes and know what it's like, is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?
I did that. She said I do enough already. (I guess meaning I take care of her kids all day long) I was thinking about talking to her tonight at pick up or calling her this evening and telling her that I would be willing to do part time care for her. I don't think she'd ask me or even think I would consider it because of what I told her in our interview. Do you think that would be ok?

[Diane]

I know you ladies will be able to help...

The little girls I watch are now 10 months and 2 yrs (this week). Their mom works from home for a computer company (I'm not sure what she does) and dad just left last month and will be gone for 1 year. Mom is really having a hard time. She's always been a little late in dropping the girls off in the morning, but the past 2 weeks she's really having a hard time getting here. Last night she called and said the girls would be here at 6:30 because she had a 7:00 call (basically a meeting). She wasn't here by 7 so I called her and asked her if she wanted me to come pick the girls up (I've never done that before or even offered, but I know she's having a rough time) She said no, that she'd be here after she got done with her call. She got here about 7 minutes to 8:00. She said "I hate my job, I really wish I could quit!" I feel so bad for her. She has a lot on her plate right now. I know what a pain it was when my dh was gone for a year, but my dks were older and I didn't work either. I told her that maybe she could just work part time and to maybe think about that. When I interviewed with them in Oct, I had said that I didn't want to do part time infant care, but at this point I'd be willing to do it for their family because I don't need the $ that bad and I LOVE the girls. What do I do or what can I say to make things easier on her?

You're so nice... :) but you've already done as much as you can. I can't think of another thing you could possibly do to make things easier for her.
Just try to make yourself available to her whenever you can. (without putting your famiily out too much) Knowing you're there for her should ease a lot of the stress she's feeling.

Diane...

[AnnW]

I did that. She said I do enough already. (I guess meaning I take care of her kids all day long) I was thinking about talking to her tonight at pick up or calling her this evening and telling her that I would be willing to do part time care for her. I don't think she'd ask me or even think I would consider it because of what I told her in our interview. Do you think that would be ok?


I think so, just real light and breezy (you don't want her to think you think she can't handle all this) "hey, i know I said I don't do part time dc, but if it helps any, I would be happy to.

[angie r]

Oh, I feel so sorry for her. You are so sweet to want to help! One thing I do for my sil is tell her to bring her ds in his jammies straight out of bed. I dressed, bathed, fed him when he got here. If the part time would help and you want to, I'd certainly offer it. Maybe offer to keep them overnight the night before when she has an early meeting like that?

[BevJ]

Bless your heart, Jen!

[vea29]

I think it would be fine to offer it....but be careful she doesn't take advantage of you. Your very sweet for doing this.

[JAK]

I think so, just real light and breezy (you don't want her to think you think she can't handle all this) "hey, i know I said I don't do part time dc, but if it helps any, I would be happy to.
That's a great way to put it.

[Melody]

Jen, you are so sweet. I think just a 'Hey, if it makes it any easier, I have no problem doing part time for you right now, you can let me know if that's what you decide whenever'. I think bringing them in pj's is a good idea when she has an early call. Both the girls are young enough that they are still in diapers so you could always switch the clothes during the first time you change them that morning?

[Linda/NE]

Jen, It's so nice of you to help this mom out in this way. If you feel accepting part time care is beneficial to you, let her know. One of the best things you can do, however, is just be there to listen and understand. The way it sounds she doesn't have another adult to bounce things off of with her dh gone. You'd be amazed how something that seems so trivial to you and me, means the world to someone else.

Obviously, like Vea mentioned, you don't want to let her take advantage of your good nature, but at the same time don't become too paranoid about that. You could end up missing out on a something really great.