Help me please.....we might have to move

[RCT]

Dh is so depressed....business isn't happening here....brick walls everywhere :banghead: he has been soliciting business everywhere around for months and only has had a couple of leads....there just ins'nt anything for him.....we have an offer to move back to CA...where he would be KING of the company....they really want him back there, to start new projects.....the problem is we now have our own home....finally after years of scrimping......what do we do sell it....move back to CA....look for something there, where housing is so expensive...I would have to work, not a problem, I have lots of bridges that I never burned....LOL.... :lol: my family and lots of friends are there....

if we decide to stay here and dh get another job with another company....he would make a whole lot less....be the low man on the poll....I would have to work, and jobs here are scarce....what about my kids,.....I guess daycare would be the alternative, but How much money could I really make here.....Oh I am so confussed....Yes I want to be happy, and if we have to struggle again I guess I would rather do it in Sunny California, where I am from.....sounds selfish to me....Dh just left to see some more clients, but he is so helpless right now...looking for answers.....guess I needed to vent......thanks for listening...

[Melody]

I hope that things look up for him soon. It sounds a bit discouraging. But I don't blame you, if you have to work and struggle I would rather do it with family nearby and somewhere warm too.

[KarlaB]

{{{hugs}}}

Wow! You guys have some big decisions to make!! Do you have some time to decide about the job in CA for dh or would he have to accept it immediately? If it looks like you're going to have to work regardless and this other job would be a secure one for dh, I would consider moving. At least you would be moving to family. Maybe make a list of pros and cons??? I know I'm not much help. Hang in there and vent away when you need to!!!

[Amy]

Wow thats a tough decision. There is a site that will compare salaries to what you have now and how much you have to make in order to live in CA. And if you wanted to raise your standard of living, than you have to make more than what is given. There is no easy answers.

Here is the site

http://www.homefair.com/homefair/cmr/salcalc.html

[SMB]

Those big decisions are hard aren't they? I would do the pros and cons list as well and really listen to that inner voice. A lot of times I go with my gut decision even if the proof isn't there on paper. It might be hard but try to relax, keep thinking that everything will be ok and I'm sure you will do just fine either way.

[angie r]

No more crappy winters!!!

(((((RCT))))) You'll get through this!

[RCT]

dh would need to make at lest 12,000 more a year....not too much eah....or I would have to bring in that much plus daycare.....to own a home there is very expensive...I can't even believe this...we should have stayed in NJ....or never left CA in the first place...I am so frustrated...been online checking realestate site, and I am very frazzled....Something has got to give.....keep your fingers crossed that dh is just having a bad day...and that things will pick up.....I can't believe things are so out of control for us.....

[AnnW]

Oh sweetie, I feel for you!!! When we lived in Dallas, we had our first home..it's still my favorite house! His company blew up and we couldn't find work in Dallas, but we got the chance to come home. It was so hard to leave all our friends and family and our home, but I knew dh would never be happy not doing what he loves. So we came back here. We had to rent for almost 2 years before we got another house, while dh started his business over and the real estate market settled down.
I guess list out the pros and cons like everyone said, get as much info, but (maybe I am old fashioned) if dh is going to be truly miserable and unhappy with his job situation there, I would move to California.
Hang in there sweetie and come to vent anytime!!!

[Amy]

(((((Renee)))))

What a horrible stressful postion you are in!!! Your right, something has to give. Hopefully, dh will have a better day.

Just for reference, didn't dh have a job before you bought the house? I thought he was being transferred from NJ?

[darlene]

Sorry to hear about this Renee! I'm with the others...make a list of pros/cons for both places and see how they add up.

Remember to factor in all the costs....extra vehicle/moving expenses/daycare/work clothes/cost of living and emotions too! Living in the country is always cheaper than the city. Better environment for the kids too. Would you move back to where your dad and brother live. Would dh be upset about moving away from his family?

Ohhh, just thought of something......your mil wouldn't be able to come live with you! :lol:

Hang in there and let keep us updated.


:)

[RCT]

about the mil thing....dh would be happy with job security, but he would be worked harder....he has been with the same company for 15 years....we have been transferred from CA to IL, to NJ to NY....and its all been fine....but if he can't make money here for the COMPANY...they want him to go home to CA where they could really use him.....LOL...which wouldn't be such a hardship really if we didn't own our dream home now, and hadn't but so much Blood, sweat and tear into this place......tommorrow is another day, so we will see....

[Ryleigh]

What a tough decision. Lucky for us it wasn't so difficult when 'BigDaddy' got his tranfer. We don't have to far to go. Still not sure what is happening with housing just yet.
Like the others said. Sit down and make out a list of pros and cons. Work out a budget of what it will cost to live in either place and go from there. Could you possible buy in a smaller town outside the city and commute each day? That's what we are concidering. Maybe just seeing about buying a lot and building our dream home. Luckily we have family that would help with most of the actual construction, so that would help cut down on costs.
Let us know how it is going. How much time do you have to decide???

[Leigh]

Oh Renee, I am so srry that you have to go through this. {{{HUGS}}} I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that the answers come to you soon. Hang in there and we are here for you always.

[Lynda/WA]

Keep EVERYTHING extra in mind not just his pay. DH has been offered a transfer back to CA a couple of times since we moved here to WA. This last time he would have been eligible for a 60,000 end of year bonus that would probably become a yearly thing. Nothing like DOUBLING your salary! Well, we decided to turn it down. Things are just toooo messed up in CA now. We would have gone back to the San Fran area. I doubt if any of those Cost of living analyzers are quit up to date. When we moved a 2 1/2 yrs ago it was a 7,000 difference. That's what the analyzer said. I think it was even a greater difference than that. Much cheaper here. From what we are hearing from friends its getting really bad in our old area. Housing costs have doubled in that area. Gas prices are huge and electricity is going to sky rocket. We were already paying double down there than up here years ago.

That's all taking into account that I wouldn't mind leaving the in-laws one bit!