Existential Angst (Sad)

[Amy2]

Man, what a morning I am having! Do you ever just want to cry, for apparently no reason? I think maybe I'll rent Terms of Endearment and have a long cry!

Tristan is staying at his school next year for kindergarten but most of his friends are leaving. I visualize these kids moving on, after all this time and I want to cry. My little community is changing so dramatically.

My friend (child psychologist) was telling me about this little girl who's sister died and how they were dealing with it, and I just bawled. The image creeped in of Lainie losing Tristan...this thought is more than I can bear.

My Mom went back home after a visit...sad.

I had a HORRIBLE nightmare the other night. I was going to get Lainie to introduce her to someone and she was lying face down in the bathtub! Dreams feel SO REAL sometimes it's just terrifying.

I wish it were PMS, but it's NOT! Dang.

Death, loss, sorrow, what's up with this? Our life is so happy and so healthy. My husband is amazing, my kids are great. We are truly blessed, yet this angst creeps in.

I guess it's time for some yoga, a little prayer, a little meditation, some time out to just enjoy the blessings. I know this too shall pass but while in the midst it's a challenge!

Life IS good.

Sending love, Amy

[AnnW]

((((Amy))))) I get like that sometimes too. I think it's the "drama queen" in me (perhaps you can relate? :) ).
I also think that it's part and parcel of being a mom..you so dearly love your children and your life, and your heart is so wrapped in their very existance that you physically ache at the thought of anything happening to them.
I will also say that when I get like that it means that I have become over loaded in "shoulds" and am not doing things for the sheer enjoyment of them but because I should.

Take care, hope the mediation, prayer and yoga works!!!

[PamE]

Things can get really overwhelming sometimes, can't they? :/ Hopefully it will all settle down soon. I know what you mean about dreams! Too bad there's not a way to shut them off sometimes, lol! (((HUGS)))

[Amy]

I get like that all the time. The thought of losing one of my kids or my kids losing me is totally unbearable. I try and live in the moment and not get enveloped in the "what ifs". Its no fun is it??

[RCT]

your so not alone in this...I too get like this alot, I try to live in the moment too, its hard sometimes, and sometimes its good to have a long cry, they say its cleansing.....I hope your day gets better, and try to think of all the bright spots in your life.....:biggrin:

[KarlaB]

I am the same way!! So ironic that my cousin and I were just talking about this the other night. I guess like others said we can't let it consume us and we need to try to live in the moment rather than worry about all of lifes "what ifs". It's just hard not to think about it when there's so much that we hear about it the news - I find myself feeling very blessed to have avoided someone else's tragedy and feel for them, but at the same time realize it could happen to any of us. We just have to count our blessings :angel: and do our best to stay positive. Hang in there - you are definitely not the only one!! :)

[Linda/NE]

Hope you're feeling better about things today. I know exactly what you're talking about. Be sure that you're taking care of yourself (eating right, enough sleep,etc.) sometimes for me thats the cause of the problem.

[kathleen]

Here are a few things that I have collected from e-mails, other bulletin boards, etc. I keep them in a file and read them when I feel like I need them. Thought I would pass along for others...

Is Your Hut Burning?

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried. Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground----it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.
For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it.
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 13:34)
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)


The Trouble Tree

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job (a flat tire made him lose an hour of work and his electric drill quit) his ancient one-ton truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier. “Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

“Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."





If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death ... you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace ... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If your parents are still alive and still married ... you are very rare, even in the United States.
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful ... you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder ... you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
Have a good day, count your blessings, and pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.
~ Author Unknown ~



Lord, thank you for this sink full of dirty dishes,
We had food to eat

Thank you for the unmade bed,
It was very comfortable last night.

Thank you for this heap of soiled laundry,
We have good warm clothes.

Thank you for the bathroom complete with spattered mirror, soggy towels, grimy sink, and an assortment of clothes thrown at (not in) the clothes hamper,
It's still very convenient.

Thank you for the finger-smudged refrigerator,
It has served us faithfully for years. Inside are cool drinks and enough leftovers for another meal.

Thank you for this oven which must be cleaned today,
It has baked many goodies to perfection (or close to it).

Thank you for the leaves out there that need raking,
We enjoy the private yard.

Thank you for that slamming door,
The children are healthy and able to run and play.

Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me today,
Says that you have richly blessed this family.

I shall do them gratefully and cheerfully.

[netmechwife]

Kathleen- you encouraged me today:)

Amy I hope you feel better soon. My heart goes out to you.

[Diane]

Amy... I hope things are looking a little better for you now...
Kathleen... Thanks for sharing your collection of inspirational stories, they were really good! :)

Diane... :wave:

[kat]

Kathleen thank you for the stories. Some I've heard before but they certainly come in as useful reminders many times.

Amy, I hope that they helped you see your temporary cause for sadness in a different light and you are feeling better.

[KarlaB]

Kathleen - Great stories!!! Thanks for sharing them with us!!!! :)