giving up baby

[Sheryl]

Would you ever consider having a baby for someone else? My twin sister is having a hard time getting pregnant since her cervical cancer and has already miscarried once. I've thought about it every once in a while and would maybe consider it only for her.

What are your thoughts? Would you ever do it?

[Mickey]

Well, for health reasons, I've put off having another child myself, so I wouldn't be a candidate for it healthwise, but I've always felt that I would definitely consider it for my sister--but ONLY my sister. If it were a risk to me healthwise I couldn't do it (and she wouldn't want me to do it). I wouldn't want to risk not being here for my child and he comes first. I also think I would have a hard time doing it because I know it would be horribly confusing for my ds. It's just a very big decision to make and a very personal one.

[AnnW]

I think it would be very hard. We had a friend offer to be a surrogate for us, but we turned her down. At the time, it was a much riskier medical proceedure and the long term implications for everyone was just too much to bear.
Have they thought about pursuing adoption?

[KarlaB]

I think it would be very difficult. I think I would seriously consider doing it for my sister, but in the long run I don't know if I could actually do it. It would be especially difficult now with two little ones of my own. Maybe if I didn't have kids of my own yet, but then it would also be hard to go through that on a first time pregnancy. I think people that do it are greay, but with where we are right now I don't know if I could do it.

[Diane]

If I were younger and able to... I would do it in a heartbeat, but ONLY if it were for one of my sisters. Of course this would have to be discussed with dh first and everybody would have to agree. Giving the baby up might be a difficult thing to have to do but knowing where he/she is and knowing who's parenting it, would make the transaction a lot easier.

It probably isn't as easy as I think it would be though. I wonder how difficult it would be to be around it without thinking of it as being mine... or how I'd feel if I didn't agree with something regarding the child, would I be able to keep my opinion to myself? I think whatever the case their would definitely always be a very strong bond between me and the child.

[RCT]

I can only speak for myself, but there is noway I could emotionaly debond from this child who lived inside me...now I don't mean to sound so preachy, but that is me...in theory it sounds wonderful doesn't it...emotionally I think it would truely be to hard.....adoption is always an alternative....

[KathyT]

Even for my sister. Too much emotion wrapped up in bringing a child into the world for me. Plus, I think there are so many wonderful little people out there who already need homes. Big decision though.

[kacee]

I couldn't do it!! I just finished reading "The Clan of the Cave Bear" and wept when the heroine had to leave her child. I know that I couldn't do it. I would encourage adoption.

[MK]

Ever since having my own children who have brought me so much joy, my heart just goes out to those who truly want and deserve children but can't seem to get any. Before I had my tubes tied I put a few "feelers" out in consideration. The only condition would be that the child would have to be from his biological father or another donor, and not my own husband. My husband couldn't bear to give away one of his own babies. I still think about that and wish there was something I could do-- it would bring me so much joy to share the blessings I have with others. :)

[Lynda/WA]

I would do it for my sister. Also for my best friend if it was her egg.
I didn't bond with my kids until they were born so keeping emotionally detached wouldn't be a problem.

[Amy2]

I think I'm with most everyone else. ONLY for my sister, and then only if is were HER egg, not mine. I simply couldn't give up my own baby, and if my sister had her, I would always know she was "really" mine, which would cause all kinds of problems. Amy