Job update(long, really long!)

[Linda/NE]

Well the light just went out again! Dh finally got to interview for the job but it involves a lot of heavy lifting which he can't do. So we're back to nothing and only about a week to find something else.

I'm so frustrated and :{ right now! I look around me and see so many people having things getting better for them--not us!

Dh's brother got a better job with lots of opportunity for advancement. A friend of mine (10 years younger) just found out that their house loan was approved. My little sister (10 yrs. younger also) got a raise in her preschool job--much similar to what I was looking at applying for--she makes about as much as dh did at his current job.

A part of me is mad at dh because from the beginning we had to live on a farm and had to move here or there because he wanted to farm. I've always had to give up the jobs I loved(preschool) in order for him to pursue what he wanted (or because they didn't bring in enough money). Now that it was looking promising for me to pursue those jobs again, we have to change things to accomodate him. I really do not want to teach elementary school again and I do not want to move again. Both of which dh is wanting me to do. He gets upset with me because I don't want to do them. I can't help but feel that if I would get a job, move, and would actually LOVE It,--it would allow him to go back to school, as soon as he gets done I'd have to give up my job yet again for him.

I know it hurts him that I'm not being more supportive of all this, and I know it's not his fault his back won't heal, but I just don't know how to be supportive when I feel my life is crashing in around me!

A part of me is mad at God, although I know that's not right. I know things happen for a reason and God is leading me, etc. but that's just not comforting to me at this moment. I'm :{!!!

Sorry, I don't mean to come across as so selfish and a crybaby. I'm really :{ and don't have anyone to talk to that will understand.
Thanks for your time.

[AnnW]

Bless your heart! I wish I had some magic answer, but I don't, but I DO know that coming here and venting is a great idea!! This place has saved my sanity and given me great solutions in the past..I know it can for you.
Hang in there sweetie...I know that eventually it will all turn out all right.

[Amy]

I hear you!! It is so hard to see the forest through the trees when you have such a lack of control over your life. When we tried to sell our house last year, it was so stressful being 3000 miles away and giving control to a doosey of an agent. I could not manage my stress or lack of contol I had over it all. Even 6 months after the mess, I still had control issues.

Just know you are in the eye of the storm right now. It WILL get better!!! How about you go to work and dh be the stay at home daddy until YOU are ready NOT to work again?

[KarlaB]

I am so sorry you are in the midst of all of this. :( We're always here for you and don't feel like you are being selfish or a crybaby. You are facing a lot right now and your feelings are justified. Hang in there, vent away to us, and have faith that although it doesn't seem like it right now things will get better! {{{hugs}}}

[angie r]

I am sorry Linda but I am not up to speed....you have been moving around because dh wants to farm and now you are moving around because he can't? What kind of a job is he looking for now? What is the prognosis on his back healing?

I am sorry for what you are going through. I hope things get better very quickly. I know I felt like the world was crashing down when Brichard and I lost our home in a fire, two weeks later his office closed down and I had a job making $0!! It all seems like a long time ago, but it has only been 6 years. Have faith! Just when you think God is knocking you down he is really picking you up.

[SMB]

No good advice but I'm right there with everyone else. This is the place to vent and get it all off your chest. Good luck and hang in there....You are more than entitled to a little anger and frustration.

[darlene]

So sorry the job didn't work out for your dh. Any word on yours?

I know exactly how you feel about not feeling like you are supporting your dh. It is hard to be in the midst of all the turmoil. :\

I am hoping that things can get turned in the right direction for you! :)

How are your kids handling all this? I know my dd asked me the other night "mommy why do big people like to fight?" and ds said I was a "mad" mommy....talk about kicking you when you are down!

You come vent here anytime.....it sounds like there are a few of us here at IB that are in the same boat with you!

[angie r]

I got this in my email today and I thought of you.....

Six year old Brandon decided one Saturday morning
to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor. He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of
milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten. Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated.

He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and
Dad, but it was getting very bad. He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all in to the oven or on the stove (and he didn't know how the stove worked!).
Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of
mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky. And just then he saw Dad standing at the door.

Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him. Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process.

That's how God deals with us. We try to do something
good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend or we can't stand our job or our health goes sour. Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do.

That's when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess gets all over Him.
But just because we might mess up, we can't stop
trying to "make pancakes," for God or for others. Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...

[TXmom]

Isn't this board great?! You can vent away and never have to admit stuff to people you'll see every day! I can relate to being angry at your dh for the changes in your life. I should have just received my undergraduate degree from a school I really liked, but because of dh's job, I'll get one next year from one I'm not so sure about.

Hang in there - life gets better!

[Linda/NE]

You guys are the greatest!!!

angie r- Wow losing your house and his business!! That really makes my worries seem petty. I know it sounds confusing, guess thats what dh thinks to. I spent all that time not wanting to live on a farm and now we have the chance to get off the farm and I don't want to. It's not that I don't want to get off the farm actually, I'm just tired of relocating. I finally was beginning to fit in, get involved in the community, kids are involved in activities and making friends, and now it seems we have to give it up and start all over! It's such an unsettling feeling not knowing where we'll be a month from now, let alone a year. Thanks for the story= had me in tears :bawling:

Darlene- The kids know dh is looking for another job and that it could mean moving, but they don't seem to worry about it too much. When we initially told them that dh had to find another job ds#1 was in tears. I think the rest will be to if it comes to actually having to move. They don't understand the financial impact of all of this or that we only have until June 4 to figure out where income will come from!!

I think I am a shoe-in at my dd's preschool as a teacher, but it isn't full time and I'd be surprised if it paid more than $6 an hour. We can't live on that! If dh can't find anything else and has to go to school I will have to find someway to make most of what he's bringing in now.

If he does decide to go back to school, it wouldn't be the smartest to move there, because we'd most likely have to move again when he found a job.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it all!! I was so hoping to have something figured out by this weekend so we could relax and enjoy it.

Thanks again to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are the best!!!

[Brichard]

I am sure you will come out of this stronger then ever!

Good luck and you will be in my prayers!

[Melody]

I'm sorry I don't have any real great words of wisdom, I haven't been in your shoes. But I am hoping that things start to improve for you and your dh soon. good luck. And please don't feel like a crybaby, we all need to vent and as you know this is the place to do it. (Hugs)

[Diane]

I'm SO sorry that you're having to go through this. I know exactly what you're going through... and I know that it's a very hard and stressful thing to go through. My dh lost a job he had worked at for almost 10 years. It's been years, but I've never forgotten how hard it was... but after a LOT of trials... in the end it all turned out SO much better than we ever thought it could. It turned out that him loosing his job was actually a blessing in disguise. He's now in a MUCH better position making just as much $$ if not more... and I'm a much stronger person for having gone through it all. SO... things that may not look too good to you right now CAN turn into a blessing. You might be surprised at what GOD has in store for you and your family. Be strong/patient and trust in HIM to find your dh the right job... I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers... Please keep us posted on his progress. :)

Diane... :wave:

[Ryleigh]

Originally posted by Linda/NE
Well the light just went out again! Dh finally got to interview for the job but it involves a lot of heavy lifting which he can't do. So we're back to nothing and only about a week to find something else.

.......


Sorry, I don't mean to come across as so selfish and a crybaby. I'm really :{ and don't have anyone to talk to that will understand.
Thanks for your time.


Oh Linda, sounds like you could use a hug {{{{HUG}}}} . I can't say I know what your going through because my life has been blessed in so many ways. I can imagine how difficult and scary it must be for you right now.
You don't sound selfish or like a cry baby, just someone who is in a lot of pain and needs a little reassurance, and hey, that's what were here for; right. Forget waiting for my prayers later tonight, I'll send one out for you right now :angel::angel::angel::angel::angel:

Keep us posted.
{{{{{hugs}}}}} many more hugs coming your way!!!

[RCT]

I hear you, and can totally relate to being angry and the situation....I too never wanted to live on the east coast but for dh and his career, we do....then to hear that business isn't going to work, or is slow in coming can really bring all your angst back to the front burner...your normal to feel what you feel....come here and vent anytime, I will keep you in my thoughts and remember life is like a roller coaster constantly up and down, sometimes we just need to hold on tight.....

(((((((HUGS)))))))))))

[netmechwife]

Angie r - that was a sweet story. Had me in tears too and reminded me how much God loves us even when we try so hard to do things and take care of things in our own strength. Then when he picks us up in His "daddy arms" we can lean on his strength. My health condition has been getting me down. I needed that reminder.

Linda- my heart aches for you. I am so sorry you are going through so much right now. Still praying for you. It's ok to get mad and vent. God wants us to tell him how we feel too. Don't feel bad for feeling how you do. But I pray that your weeping will turn to dancing and your mourning to joy :)