first impressions

[JAK]

Do you trust your first impression of someone? After getting to know someone was your first impression right on the mark or way off base? I was just wonder how others judged their own first impressions.

The day after we moved to AK a friend of my dh's introduced us to his landlord/friend. Right off the bat I didn't really like her. She's nice enough, but seems too fake. Something really bothers me about her. My dh met her at the same time and feels the same way. We didn't compare notes until later that day. So we both had the same first impression of her. We have seen this person several times since then and I still don't like her, my dh really can't stand her (he would say that he hates her) and my dk's love her! LOL

Usually I'm pretty good about first impressions. I can usually see someone for who and what they really are.

[Mickey]

I have learned to always trust my first impression. It's never wrong for me. When I fight it, I always regret it.

And I'd say that since your dh feels the same way, I definitely would go with it.

I've read about how "women's intuition" is really not some strange phenomenon. That actually, a woman's brain picks up tiny "signals" about people--a flicker of the eye, dilation or constriction of pupils, twitch around the mouth, etc.--and her brain processes that info without her even realizing it and she gets a "feeling" about someone. A feeling that is usually very accurate.

[KathyT]

I always trust my first intuition or impression of someone. It is usually right. I do tend to be a bit paranoid or harsh, but I still never doubt what I feel, and I encourage both of my daughters to listen to their inner voice and first impressions too.

[kacee]

I too listen to my inner voice. But, I try to give everyone a fare chance. Just maintain my distance if I get that funny feeling.

[Melody]

I always go by my first impression and I'm never sorry about it. I knew I wanted ds in a different class at the beginning of the year the first time I met his teacher and everyone kept telling me to try it out and maybe I was wrong but I was right and have regretted not moving him then for the entire year.
I met someone through dh that most of his family knew, I never said anything but I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him and they never would have guessed anything was wrong with him. Dh was surprised later to see the real 'him' and even more surprised that I knew something was not right.
I get a feeling about everyone I meet and sometimes it's good, sometimes not, but I always go by it.

[Diane]

I use to ALWAYS go with my first instincts/impressions until I met this one boy that was in my 17 year old dd's school. She first pointed him out to me when we were at Target doing some shopping, telling me that he was her friend Kelly's boyfriend. I was NOT impressed at all and at the time wondered why she had settled for something that looked as bad as that. LOL While Kelly was absolutely gorgeous, he was this tall and skinny, long hair and IMHO not very good looking at all. I guess the look on my face must have said what I wasn't... and dd responded to me by telling me that I shouldn't be so judgmental, after all... I hadn't even met him. I responded back to her by telling her that I didn't care to get to know him and... you had better think twice before you EVER drag something home that looks like THAT. IMHO I thought he looked like a druggie or some kind of a drug dealer. LOL Well... a few weeks passed and we were invited over to one of our dd's friends mom and dad's house for a picnic. Kelly and her boyfriend happened to be there. :) Again.... I noted how bad he looked and wondered what on earth Kelly saw in him. LOL I was curious about him and he pretty much kept my interest/attention throughout the day. I don't know if I was waiting for him to screw up or what... but all I saw was this very nice well mannered young boy going from one person to another introducing himself and shaking hands. LOL I noticed that all the other kids his age were pretty much staying with their own aged friends and not having much to do with any of the adults... but not him. He was making it a point to mingle with EVERYbody. LOL Needless to say, I was VERY shocked/surprised... and more impressed than anything. A little later when he came over and introduced himself to us... I thought my dd was going to DIE... because she KNEW (or thought she did... ) how I felt about him. LOL He sat there with us for over an hour talking and laughing with us... he was SOOOOo nice! Eventually my dd DID drag him home and "went" with him for over 3 months... and to this day I can honestly say that he's probably the best/nicest boyfriend she's ever had. Maybe you can judge SOME books by their covers... but in this case it really wasn't a fair judgement. My first impression definitely was NOT right. LOL

There have been very FEW times though that my first impressions were wrong, and I usually do go with them. It bugs me though when I feel SO strongly one way about somebody and dh doesn't "feel" it too. LOL Sometimes it might take a while but eventually I usually end up right. LOL Do you think women have this instinct/intuition more than guy's do??? Just curious...

Diane... :wave:

[KarlaB]

I have always heard to trust your intuition on everything and I usually do. I do try to give people a fair chance, but if I sense something "amiss" I try to keep my guard up if it's someone I know I have to encounter again.

[Mickey]

Great story, Diane! I try to not judge a person by their appearance because I dressed fairly weird when I was younger and I look at photos of myself and ask my mother why she let me out of the house with my hair looking like that! LOL!

I think that judging a book by its cover from a distance (and having a preconceived notion) is different than actually meeting someone and getting a bad feeling and not knowing why, though.

Have you ever met and not liked someone and can't quite put your finger on why? There's no logical "reason" you can give, you just don't like them?

[JAK]

I don't judge people by the way they are dressed or what they look like. I meant a first impression when you actually meet them.

Funny thing- the girl I was talking about called me about an hour ago! A friend of ours gave her our phone number (without asking us first). She called once before about 3 weeks ago and left a message. When she called today she was telling me how she knew she doesn't know me very well, but she was hoping we could get to know each other better. (OK, would any of you call someone and say that to them? It sounds like something you would say to someone that you want to date!) I tried to blow her off in a nice way by just saying that I was busy with things around the house and my dk's. I tried not to encourage her by asking her questions about how she was and didn't ask for her phone number. I tried not to be rude, but I wasn't too nice either. I told dh we need to get caller ID now!

She seems like a nice person, but overly nice in a fake way and it seems like she is always playing the victim. She did make me really mad once. We were visiting our friend's appartment (he introduced us to her) and she's the landlord and lives in the building. She saw our car and came to the apartment to say hi to us, said she had been sick and was going to her own apartment to rest. No big deal. Well, then she turns around and tells another person "I can't believe they were visiting John and they didn't even come up to visit me!" Give me a break.

[Ryleigh]

My first impressions of people are usually not too far off, so I do go by them, but I'm willing to give anyone a fair chance.
I try not to base my impression on the persons apperance, just certain vibes that they give off. One thing I always notice, is the eyes. You can tell a lot about a person just by watching their eyes. It has never failed me yet.

[Diane]

[i]
Have you ever met and not liked someone and can't quite put your finger on why? There's no logical "reason" you can give, you just don't like them? [/B]

Yes... this guy! He gave me the absolute willies every time I saw him and I didn't like him, nor did I trust him. I "FELT" he was not somebody my dd should not be hanging around. He scared me to death and I felt very uneasy... :) I'm glad I was wrong...

Diane... :wave:

[BigDaddy]

I like to give a person a chance to prove themselves, but first impressions can go a long way.
My cousin married this women who for some reason just irritates me jsut for being in the same room. She has never done or siad anything so don't know what the problem is. Could it be a past life experience???

[RCT]

I always trust my first impression, only once did I not, and I got a rude awakening....it doesn't happen often but when I meet someone and I have a totaly dislike for thenm right off the bat, for no appent reason....then something is usally off.....and I try to be cordial, but I keep my distance, on personal stuff.....

[Amy2]

I have found that I have to be very careful of judging people on first impressions. Some of my very best friends are people who I did NOT get along with initially. We usually came to find that the reason we didn't like each other was because we were so much alike! But once we got past the initial weirdness, we found that we were great friends.

That said, there have also been people where deep down I just felt something was not right about them and I trusted that and found my "instincts" to be correct.

I have also totally missed it, thought someone was just great, and had someone close to me say "Um...Amy, this guy is weird!" and they were right!

I also think there are often different circumstances. Someone wrote that they would never call someone and say "I don't know you very well, but I'd like to" or something like that. I definitely WOULD do something like that if I met somebody and felt a connection to them. At the same time, I am sure I could feel it if they were thinking I was a weirdo or something.

Or sometimes it's timing. There was this woman who I could tell really wanted to become friends. She would ask me to lunch or go for a walk or whatever, and I found I just didn't want to make a new friend at that time. My plate was just too full for the energy it takes to build a new relationship. She was a nice person, I'm sure very sweet and probably would have been a great friend, but it just wasn't the time for me.

Amy