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Beth/TX
10-25-2006, 06:31 PM
Unfortunately things are not good at all. I'm having an extremely hard time dealing with everything too.

Ava was born at 9:22am on Wednesday morning. She weighed 7 lbs and was 19 in long. Within an hour of her birth we were informed she has Down's Syndrome. I never thought in a million years I'd ever hear those words. My whole world came crashing down. All the dreams I had of how she would be were gone in an instant. I have never experienced such deep sorrow and pain. It's like mourning a death. We were told later that day that she also has a heart defect that is common in Down's babies. She has a hole inside her heart, so none of the 4 chambers are separated. This results in her blood flow being out of whack in her heart. This weird blood flow is putting her lungs at risk. She will have to have heart surgery when she is 4-6 mons of age.

She spent the first 3 days in NICU. By the last day I was in the hospital, she was transfered to a stage 2 nursery, which was good news. Unfortunately, she will be there for anywhere from 2 weeks (optimistic) to several weeks (probable). She is having a problem eating, which is another common problem with Down's babies. They lack muscle tone and control and are unable to suck well from a bottle. She needs to be able to drink 60 cc consistently by bottle before she will be discharged. Right now they only have her being bottle fed 2 times out of the 8 feedings. The other 6 feedings are done via gavage tube feedings. The most she has consumed from a bottle thus far has been 37 cc, and that was only in one rare feeding. Most have been around 20 cc. Her platelet count is also low, as is her sodium levels in her blood. They are keeping an eye on that too. They are also keeping a watch on her heart to make sure she doesn't develop congestive heart failure. She will need to go on medications if she develops it, until she weighs enough to have the heart surgery.

We are only able to go up to the hospital to see her twice a day, due to dh having to work, and having to tend to dd1 after school. Ds is staying with my mom at the moment. Once ds is home, the time we will get to spend with Ava will be compromised even more while she's at the hospital. I feel so detached from her. My family and friends have been incredibly helpful thus far, enabling us to see Ava in the evenings, while someone stays to tend to dd1 and get her in bed.

I feel so helpless. People keep telling me it will get easier, and that I'm strong enough to get through this. But right now, I just can't see that. I'm a total wreck. I want to be with Ava all the time to make sure she knows me, and to make sure she is comforted. That just isn't feasible tho with the 2 other dks.

With all that being said tho, I feel such love and hope when I am with Ava. When I look into her sweet little face, I forget all my fears. I forget about her condition, and all that is to come with it. She is just a precious baby that I want to pour all of my love into. I cannot wait for the day she comes home.

I have lots of research to do on Down's Syndrome. I want to be as well-read on the subject as possible by the time she comes home. I'm know by then I'll be ready to dive in and start giving her all the special needs she will require.

I am desperately asking for prayers for Ava and our family. Please pray that God will give us strength, guidance, and wisdom to get through this. Please pray that He will keep Ava's heart strong until surgery, and help her to learn to bottle feed so she can come home soon.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Leigh
10-25-2006, 06:47 PM
OMG!!!! Prayers are definitely being said!!!!!

KarlaB
10-25-2006, 06:51 PM
{{{Beth}}} Congrats on your prescious little blessing! I am so sorry for your worry right now and I hope each day little Ava makes leaps and bounds in progress so she is home with you soon!! Like your friends said, it will get easier and you will get thru this - although it might not seem like it right now. Please lean on those around you (and on us!!) for support and trust that God will help get you thru each and every day. Big hugs and lots of prayers for you and your family!

Cathy
10-25-2006, 06:55 PM
praying for your family.............

Amy
10-25-2006, 07:08 PM
She is most definitely a little blessing! It is okay to grieve and once the shock wears off, you are going to be the best Mommy to her!

KarlaB
10-25-2006, 07:13 PM
She is most definitely a little blessing! It is okay to grieve and once the shock wears off, you are going to be the best Mommy to her!

Well said, Amy! ITA!!!!

Diane
10-25-2006, 07:24 PM
Welcome to the world, Ava... and CONGRATULATIONS to mom/dad and family!
Prayers being said... (((HUGS)))

I did day care for a family who had a little boy who was born with Down's Syndrome. He had all of the same issues that your dd has. He wouldn't suck from the bottle and we had to work very very hard to get him to drink anything. He was extremely thin. :( (he had no feeding tube) He had heart surgery when he was 6 months old.... after that he totally thrived. You should see him now.... LOL He's doing GREAT!!! His mom/dad didn't think they'd ever make it through it all either... but they did. You've got a very special little girl... she needs you to be strong for her, and somehow it you will be, because really... you have no other choice.

Here's a story that someone sent to Dawn/James when Sarah was born. It meant a lot to her and I hope you don't mind my sharing it with you.

Please keep us updated as to how your wee little one is doing.
************************
Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Ryleigh S.
10-25-2006, 07:24 PM
Congrats on your little Angel.
Lots of {{{{HUGS}}}}coming your way to help you through the tough time. Thoughts and prayers will be with you and your precious little one through this difficult time.

Diane
10-25-2006, 07:43 PM
Beth... this is a Message Board that Dawn goes to, and it has helped her a great deal. It's called Baby Center... She's on a different board (the board for babies with birth defect board) but this is the link for moms and dad's with babies who are born with Down's Syndrome. These women are a GREAT support system. They've all gone through what you're going through now. I hope you'll check them out.

http://boards.babycenter.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?webtag=bcus11985

Mickey
10-25-2006, 07:44 PM
First of all, welcome to the world, Ava--and congratulations to you and your family, Beth.

I am sorry you are feeling so helpless, waiting for your precious baby girl to be able to come home. I will pray for her good health and your family's strength to make it through these difficult days.

PamE
10-25-2006, 07:47 PM
(((Beth))) I will be praying for you and your family and sweet little Ava.

littlesista06
10-25-2006, 08:22 PM
I ditto all the other girls have already said and want to add my CONGRATULATIONS and best wishes. I can understand your sadness and will keep your family in my prayers and am so grateful you took your precious precious time to tell us of Ava's arrival and needs.

Please let us lend our ears and shoulders whenever you need them - so many prayers are with you in joy and support.

Hugs to your whole family, Beth.

MaryL
10-25-2006, 09:34 PM
Congratulations Beth on the birth of Ava!! I will definitely keep you all in my prayers. Get strong, Ava!! We all love you already!!!

Dh's best friend and his wife have 4 children...the oldest has Down's. I've been so blessed to watch him grow into this really amazing 12 year old! His health needs were similar to Ava's when he was born...but he overcame all of that. He is mainstreamed into a regular middle school setting...and participates in EVERYTHING his classmates do. I'm in awe of him....plus, he's just the sweetest kid!! :) I know that his mom and dad are involved in a Down's support group here in town....and it has been a godsend for them.

Congrats Again!!! I'm so happy that she has arrived!

RCT
10-25-2006, 09:42 PM
Congratulations on your sweet baby girl....Love her name.

(((((((((((BETH)))))))))))))

I completely understand your grieving and sadness. But I also know your a wonderful mother to your children and as Amy said, you will be a wonderful mother to Ava as well. You sound like being with her is as magical as it was with your first two. We are hear to listen to you when ever you need us Beth.

vea29
10-25-2006, 10:25 PM
Welcome to the world Ava (LOVE The name)

((((Beth)))) The bond between you and this sweet girl has grown for many months and will continue to grow. I know it's hard and there may be hard times ahead....Just remember how that love you feel when your with her feels. It will be your strength.!

JAK
10-25-2006, 11:30 PM
Welcome baby Ava!!! :tinysmile Congrats to your family Beth. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Melody
10-26-2006, 06:15 AM
Congratulations Beth and family and welcome little Ava.
(((Beth))) I do believe you are strong enough to get through this and anything that may arise. I am praying for Ava to get strong and strength for the whole family in the days ahead.

angie r
10-26-2006, 07:55 AM
Congratulations to you all Beth! I prayed exactly what you asked for, if there are other things to add to that list please let us know.

SpeechMom
10-26-2006, 08:24 AM
Congratulations on the arrival of your sweet little girl. Praying for strength for you and your family and wisdom for the professionals working with her.

bizymum
10-26-2006, 01:01 PM
COngratulations on the birth of Ava...I ditto what everyone else has said.
Prayers being said too....

Kate
10-29-2006, 09:42 PM
Congratulations on the arrival of your precious little girl. Prayers for your family and Ava from me. A very good website that may help is downsyn.com
I pray Ava wil be home with her family very soon.