View Full Version : Good China and Silver settings
Ok, I know we have talked about this before. I found my mothers Silver pattern on line, its been discontinued and is now hard to find and I want it. I am 40 years old and don't want to wait until I am 60 to Inherit something that was left to me when I was 25. (Ok that sounds so catty, but that is how I truely feel.)
Life is too short, I use the China more and more as the kids get older...It makes the meal seem more important....and why wait.
This patter is so delicate and matches the China my mother bought me.
Here is my question.
How many place settings do you need.
There are four of us, I figure eventually each of my kids will be a +1 so that would be 6, so would 10 be a good number? I don't know if 12 is too much?
I wanted to get butter spreader and some serving pieces too.
Its about $110.00 per 5 piece place setting, I am not sure if that is high or low.
First off Renee, quit stewing about this silver. Go tell your dad in no uncertain terms that you want it now. You have been very generous to loan it to them all these years, since your mother left it to YOU, but you want it now. Yes, it might be ugly, but you are eating yourself up about and they will get over it. I had to do it with my grandmother's flatwear. Which wasn't even my mom and dad's, it had been left to me when I was sixteen. I had always had it, but my mom had borrowed it shortly before she died for a party. I had forgotten about it, but when I was cleaning all her stuff out of the house before dad got married, I saw. I almost took it then, but dad was all weird about taking stuff, so I didn't. I kept asking for it for over a year and finally, it was just eating me up, that I just said 'give me my damn silver!!' it was ugly for a bit, but everyone got over it.
ok..now that my unsolicited advice is over ;)
I have place settings for 14 in my china with enough extra plates for a buffet of 25. I have 14 places settings in my silver. If I was purchasing it, I would probably go with 12.
I looked up my silver and yours sounds like a good price. Heck, I can remember when we would give place settings for gifts..this is way more expensive now than it was when I was getting married. Mine was sort of started for me cause my grandmothere gave me a spoon every year with my initials on it, so when it came time to register, I kept with that pattern. It's Strausberg by Gorham. It's funny, my mom's is Melrose, and between my cousin's and myself, we are either Melrose or Strausberg, so it's nice when you need extra silver!
http://macys-catalog.weddingchannel.com/catalog/fds/macysproductdetail.action?pid=302176446&uid=300000390
isn't it pretty??!!!
Melody
11-24-2006, 11:23 AM
Ok, I live in a cave! I don't have any good china or silver. lol I do have a nice little set for four that my mom gave me as a wedding gift and it has a soup toureen and another big bowl with a little platter under it. That's it. And of course, we are past 4 of us. lol
Renee, I agree, go get what is yours. My sil's took what was there's after mil was gone, some was left there and when fil's new wife was cleaning out the house, they went in and took what they should before the wedding.
My grandmother has the set I have always wanted, I think for 12 but not sure. She always tells my mother 'oh, I don't know what we are going to do with it when we move (to an appt. eventually). Mom has told her that this is the pattern I wanted and if she wants to give it to someone, give it to me. lol They have done some very strange things with family heirlooms like send them to museums. Some things should have gone straight to my cousin because she is the daughters daughter and she spent time growing up there and is more family than us. I just think so much she should have had and it's gone. ugh off my soap box. But anyhow, I agree with Ann. They will get over it!
Diane
11-24-2006, 12:07 PM
When my dh's grandmother passed away, they divided her china set up among 4 children. When my MIL passed, his dad used them for his every day use. :rolleyes: I was SO afraid he'd break what she had... but fortunately he didn't. :) When he passed away we got them. A few aunts offered to buy them from us, but we wanted to keep them in our own famiily. My MIL had a set of her own... very pretty, but blue and white and totally does not match anything I have in my house. We've got them packed away for safe keeping. I've got the huge platter from dh's grandma's set, so we make it a point to use that for each/every big meal I serve. (that includes a turkey) Makes us feel close to her and MIL... seeing that's what they use to sit up to the table and eat their turkey from. I've looked for and found dh's grandmothers set on line and have thought about buying a few pieces at a time, but don't really have that much room to put them once I get them, so haven't. They'd be nice to have though. :)
I agree with Ann, Renee... If your mom's china was left to you by your mother you should have them. I'm sure your dad knows how much they mean to you and would understand your wanting them. It's nice to be able to have/buy them, but it's not really the same because they're not her's. I hope you'll be able to get them back. :)
First off Renee, quit stewing about this silver. Go tell your dad in no uncertain terms that you want it now. You have been very generous to loan it to them all these years, since your mother left it to YOU, but you want it now. Yes, it might be ugly, but you are eating yourself up about and they will get over it. I had to do it with my grandmother's flatwear. Which wasn't even my mom and dad's, it had been left to me when I was sixteen. I had always had it, but my mom had borrowed it shortly before she died for a party. I had forgotten about it, but when I was cleaning all her stuff out of the house before dad got married, I saw. I almost took it then, but dad was all weird about taking stuff, so I didn't. I kept asking for it for over a year and finally, it was just eating me up, that I just said 'give me my damn silver!!' it was ugly for a bit, but everyone got over it.
ok..now that my unsolicited advice is over ;)
I have place settings for 14 in my china with enough extra plates for a buffet of 25. I have 14 places settings in my silver. If I was purchasing it, I would probably go with 12.
OK I took your advice, I called my dad, and I spoke about how after seeing it, It brought up all sorts of memories of shopping for my china which it matches, and how she always spoke of me getting it when she passed. he was quiet, I also spoke of how the children are getting older and I am using my China more often it would be wonderful to have the silver to make each of these meals more of a celebration. I basicallyn went on about how much it would mean to me to have it, all things I have said before... He said he had to go but he would think about what I said.
At least if he says he wants to hold on to it...I know, and can purchase more silver for myself, same pattern....that way when I do get it, although if he goes first, she will probaby snatch it up since she has been using it all these years.....dd can have lots of pieces...or...Should I get something else? Not sure how or what to do...guess I should wait to hear what he says....
http://www.replacements.com/webquote/TWSMAD.htm
the china I have is way cute (girly) and has these tiny flowers on it.
Renee, you should feel so very proud of yourself!! Even if he does end up keeping it, you won't be beating yourself up with the 'what if's'. WTG!!!!!!
Diane
11-24-2006, 11:22 PM
http://www.replacements.com/webquote/TWSMAD.htm
the china I have is way cute (girly) and has these tiny flowers on it.
I'm so curious to see it but I can't get a picture... :( :( :(
Diane
11-24-2006, 11:25 PM
OK I took your advice, I called my dad, and I spoke about how after seeing it, It brought up all sorts of memories of shopping for my china which it matches, and how she always spoke of me getting it when she passed. he was quiet, I also spoke of how the children are getting older and I am using my China more often it would be wonderful to have the silver to make each of these meals more of a celebration. I basicallyn went on about how much it would mean to me to have it, all things I have said before... He said he had to go but he would think about what I said.
At least if he says he wants to hold on to it...I know, and can purchase more silver for myself, same pattern....that way when I do get it, although if he goes first, she will probaby snatch it up since she has been using it all these years.....dd can have lots of pieces...or...Should I get something else? Not sure how or what to do...guess I should wait to hear what he says....
I'm glad you talked with him about it, Renee... I know it probably wasn't a very easy thing for you to do. Hopefully it will turn out that they'll give it to you. Obviously it would mean more to you to have it than her... seeing it was your mothers. :) I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you! Keep us updated!!
I agree with Ann, Renee... If your mom's china was left to you by your mother you should have them. I'm sure your dad knows how much they mean to you and would understand your wanting them. It's nice to be able to have/buy them, but it's not really the same because they're not her's. I hope you'll be able to get them back. :)
LOL funny I don't even know where her China is....I know she used it alot, some pieces were missing over the years, Never even thought about it till I read this post....Guess because she had bought me my own it wasn't a thought...I know she never really liked her set. I'll ask my brother, he was there the day they had a huge garage sale at our family home....he called to tell me they were selling our memories.....he nabbed lots of things, but discovered then that if it was important to someone, the STEP MOTHER OF THE FUTURE would convince my dad to hold on to it....
Diane
11-26-2006, 04:17 PM
LOL funny I don't even know where her China is....I know she used it alot, some pieces were missing over the years, Never even thought about it till I read this post....Guess because she had bought me my own it wasn't a thought...I know she never really liked her set. I'll ask my brother, he was there the day they had a huge garage sale at our family home....he called to tell me they were selling our memories.....he nabbed lots of things, but discovered then that if it was important to someone, the STEP MOTHER OF THE FUTURE would convince my dad to hold on to it....
Oh... so you don't know if your sm even has your mom's old china? I thought she'd been using it. :( Do you think she might have sold it in a garage sale???? Gosh... I hope that's not the case!!!! Hope you find out where it is... :) (((hugs)))
Oh... so you don't know if your sm even has your mom's old china? I thought she'd been using it. :( Do you think she might have sold it in a garage sale???? Gosh... I hope that's not the case!!!! Hope you find out where it is... :) (((hugs)))
I could really care less about anything they have except for the Silver.....I am pretty sure they sold most of her pieces of china...and anything She wanted they kept....she once inquired about my mothers jewlery box...HELLO My mother sent that home with me the three days before she died.
KarlaB
11-26-2006, 06:55 PM
....she once inquired about my mothers jewlery box...HELLO My mother sent that home with me the three days before she died.
Get out!! I am just speechless!!!
So glad you got that, Renee!!
Diane
11-26-2006, 10:34 PM
I could really care less about anything they have except for the Silver.....I am pretty sure they sold most of her pieces of china...and anything She wanted they kept....she once inquired about my mothers jewlery box...HELLO My mother sent that home with me the three days before she died.
Excuse me? 8o I can't believe she'd have the nerve to ask you about your mom's jewlery box!! :rolleyes: I'm SO glad she gave it to you before she passed away. It's right where it belongs...
Yes ladies there is lots more to this than meet the eye.. :rolleyes:
I have been really good about not talking about her too badly....I am not sure what she was thinking asking me about it...she was concerned that she knew my mother had some expensive pieces, and some un set stones, she was famous for purchasing in other countries.....guess she thought she could get a few of them....once my dad asked about a ruby that had never been set....I explained to him that I had it made into a necklace. Never has asked me about any of it again....wierd.....I wouldn't want any of my husbands dead wifes things.....really....come on....
Yes ladies there is lots more to this than meet the eye.. :rolleyes:
I have been really good about not talking about her too badly....I am not sure what she was thinking asking me about it...she was concerned that she knew my mother had some expensive pieces, and some un set stones, she was famous for purchasing in other countries.....guess she thought she could get a few of them....once my dad asked about a ruby that had never been set....I explained to him that I had it made into a necklace. Never has asked me about any of it again....wierd.....I wouldn't want any of my husbands dead wifes things.....really....come on....
Eeesh! What a piece of work! 8o
Diane
11-27-2006, 09:03 AM
Yes ladies there is lots more to this than meet the eye.. :rolleyes:
I have been really good about not talking about her too badly....I am not sure what she was thinking asking me about it...she was concerned that she knew my mother had some expensive pieces, and some un set stones, she was famous for purchasing in other countries.....guess she thought she could get a few of them....once my dad asked about a ruby that had never been set....I explained to him that I had it made into a necklace. Never has asked me about any of it again....wierd.....I wouldn't want any of my husbands dead wifes things.....really....come on....
Not to be disrespectful of his deceased wife... but I wouldn't want any her things either. I'd give it to his kids or whoever else wanted it. (because it would mean more to them than it would me) I think I'd want to start out our marriage new/fresh with our own things.
She sounds like a real piece of work... :( Sad...
littlesista06
11-27-2006, 01:19 PM
Yes ladies there is lots more to this than meet the eye.. :rolleyes:
I have been really good about not talking about her too badly....I am not sure what she was thinking asking me about it...she was concerned that she knew my mother had some expensive pieces, and some un set stones, she was famous for purchasing in other countries.....guess she thought she could get a few of them....once my dad asked about a ruby that had never been set....I explained to him that I had it made into a necklace. Never has asked me about any of it again....wierd.....I wouldn't want any of my husbands dead wifes things.....really....come on....
Is there even a remote possibility that your dad could have been thinking of having things (i.e. that ruby) set for you, and that's why he asked about them?
Melody
11-27-2006, 05:43 PM
Oh Renee. I feel for you. I just couldn't imagine. I know when fil's new wife moved in she was already clearing the house before she got there but all mil's personal stuff was already given to sil's. I couldn't imagine her asking for jewelery!
Is there even a remote possibility that your dad could have been thinking of having things (i.e. that ruby) set for you, and that's why he asked about them?
:lol: :biglaugh: anything is possible, but he didn't inquire about the ruby until he was dating her, (he dated others before her) He just really has become, lets put this as delicate as possible...whipped since he has remarried......Hey as long as he is happy has been my philosophy....but Don't drag me into it....;)
littlesista06
11-27-2006, 09:29 PM
:lol: :biglaugh: anything is possible, but he didn't inquire about the ruby until he was dating her, (he dated others before her) He just really has become, lets put this as delicate as possible...whipped since he has remarried......Hey as long as he is happy has been my philosophy....but Don't drag me into it....;)
Awwwww (((((((Renee)))))))
Awwwww (((((((Renee)))))))
thanks for the hugs...I try not to get all into the drama that goes on...I want my kids to have thier grandfather in thier life...and Grandma too....so I will go along with somethings....but lately the entire FAMILY GATHERINGS have gotten harder.....from now on, I think we will have them here so the kids can enjoy them...and I have the home advantage....sad isn't it...
littlesista06
11-27-2006, 09:54 PM
thanks for the hugs...I try not to get all into the drama that goes on...I want my kids to have thier grandfather in thier life...and Grandma too....so I will go along with somethings....but lately the entire FAMILY GATHERINGS have gotten harder.....from now on, I think we will have them here so the kids can enjoy them...and I have the home advantage....sad isn't it...
No. You've got to find the way you can live with the life he's chosen and how you can still live your best life. You are to be commended that you have not written him off b/c of her... I think you're very smart to figure out how to 'have it all'. :)
thanks for the hugs...I try not to get all into the drama that goes on...I want my kids to have thier grandfather in thier life...and Grandma too....so I will go along with somethings....but lately the entire FAMILY GATHERINGS have gotten harder.....from now on, I think we will have them here so the kids can enjoy them...and I have the home advantage....sad isn't it...
no, that's why i choose to do most of the hosting. so much less drama.
it's harder on my dad though, cause he loves to host and isn't a very good guest! LOL
Melody
11-28-2006, 06:16 AM
Renee, I don't even offer to host. I try to skip the whole thing if possible! LOL Fil's wife tries to host her family and ours both on boxing day with the big turkey dinner and all and it sucks! They end up passing out gifts and we all saw how her kids/grandkids recieved more in front of us. Didn't go over well at all. And do I look like I want to sit down to dinner with those people? They (her dd's) don't even try to be nice, won't even say hello. UGH They look at us like we have 3 heads. In my fil's house. Which was my mil's house, which used to feel like home. So last year dh and I were late ;) and let me tell you how wonderful it was! lol We missed the entire meal (oh shoot) and her kids were leaving or already gone ( too bad we missed them!). We ate on the way there (shhh) and warmed a plate later to nibble on. I'm hoping for a big snow storm this boxing day but if we go, I plan on being 2 hours late again! :)
Renee, I don't even offer to host. I try to skip the whole thing if possible! LOL Fil's wife tries to host her family and ours both on boxing day with the big turkey dinner and all and it sucks! They end up passing out gifts and we all saw how her kids/grandkids recieved more in front of us. Didn't go over well at all. And do I look like I want to sit down to dinner with those people? They (her dd's) don't even try to be nice, won't even say hello. UGH They look at us like we have 3 heads. In my fil's house. Which was my mil's house, which used to feel like home. So last year dh and I were late ;) and let me tell you how wonderful it was! lol We missed the entire meal (oh shoot) and her kids were leaving or already gone ( too bad we missed them!). We ate on the way there (shhh) and warmed a plate later to nibble on. I'm hoping for a big snow storm this boxing day but if we go, I plan on being 2 hours late again! :)
LOL....It is really hard to watch all her grandkids monopolize my dad, they were born here and he has been part of thier lives since pregnancy, I always hear how I moved away and had my kids...ok so the bond is different...got it...its hard on me still to hear other people call him Dad....My step brother was 11 when they married....so that is expected....but the other kids were all grown....
I hear you on it not feeling like home, I couldn't tell you were anything is in the kitchen, feel like a complete stranger there....and I don't feel comfortable going into the fridge....I know that sounds silly...but I don't
Mel...I think lots of people feel like they should include the entire blended family and they don't realize sometimes the entire blended family thing doesn't work....
Melody
11-28-2006, 12:04 PM
LOL....It is really hard to watch all her grandkids monopolize my dad, they were born here and he has been part of thier lives since pregnancy, I always hear how I moved away and had my kids...ok so the bond is different...got it...its hard on me still to hear other people call him Dad....My step brother was 11 when they married....so that is expected....but the other kids were all grown....
I hear you on it not feeling like home, I couldn't tell you were anything is in the kitchen, feel like a complete stranger there....and I don't feel comfortable going into the fridge....I know that sounds silly...but I don't
Mel...I think lots of people feel like they should include the entire blended family and they don't realize sometimes the entire blended family thing doesn't work....
Nothing like throwing it in your face as if you did something wrong against him/them because you moved! geesh.
I don't feel comfortable going through the kitchen anymore either. I have to do it though if the kids are hungry.
I hear ya! We have the whole extra freakanomics thing going since his wife was married to his brother so her kids are really dh's cousins. But, they didn't visit or know each other growing up and the dd's are stuck up. The son is nice enough when he's around. I hate being there when they are. What's funny though is I know that fil's wife is geniun enough when it comes to my kids, she really does like them and honestly enjoys time with them so for that I should be grateful. And I am. But it is still freakin' weird and it's just not home anymore. I don't even go by myself for the weekend to visit anymore with the kids and I used to all the time. :(
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.