Do you just let you kids go ...

[kat]

There have been several local stories in the news lately about coaches/gymnastic teachers/and others working with children that have been arrested and charged with sexual abuse of those children they work with. I was wondering, with all you SAHM's out there, do you just drop your kids off at their various extra-curricular activities and leave? That seems like opening the door for abuse. I always stayed and watched my kids when they had practices along with many other mothers and fathers. On the rare occassion when I had to run an errand, I always checked with a close friend to keep an eye out. We live in a smaller, very close knit community and there is just always someone who stays at practices. These stories while fairly "local" were from larger communities. I was just curious what you all did and/or think.

[Linda/NE]

When my son played basketball this year, I did just leave him there but there were always some parents watching. The coaches themselves were parents of some of the team.

As for baseball this summer, our ball fields are close to the park. That's where I wait with the younger kids. I can't see/hear everything that goes on but with so many people around the area, it'd be hard for coaches to do much without someone noticing. There are other parents that do watch the practices though.

That's sad. I remember seeing ads to encourage your kids to do things like sports to keep them out of trouble and now we have to worry about problems there.:(

[coulie]

I teach gymnastics. Some parents think of us as babysitters and go run errands while class is in session. It really bugs me because occassionally a child will get hurt and the mother is not there. That puts us in a horrible position. When kids get hurt they really need their parents there.
As far as the abuse thing, if parents have the option to stay they should. It shows support and keeps the parent tuned in to the experience. A typical child abuser is usually a big coward and will not abuse unless they feel the coast is clear and they won't get caught. Be present and involved with your child's activities. Get to know the instructors on a personal level. Find out about thier family life. Ask if they are married and have kids of their own etc. I think the key to prevention is to be aware at all times as opposed to afraid and suspicious and remain involved in the classes/activities.

Coulie

[Amy2]

I left my son at soccer practice ONCE for about half an hour. I had fifty million errands to run, and was very pregnant at the time, and since I could do half of them right there I did. I felt really uncomfortable with it, and didn't do it again. There was no locker room, or any way he would have been alone with anyone, and frankly the abuse thing didn't really occur to me, I was more concerned that he would be scared or maybe get hurt or something.
So no, I wouldn't drop my kid. Not at this age anyway.
Amy

[Mickey]

My ds is still young, but I will never leave him. And I saw what Coulie talked about when I took ds to gymnastics. I was one of only two or three parents there when the gym was packed full of kids. They were always bringing hurt kids over to us and asking where the parents were.

I also saw a program on PBS about pedophiles--they all said very similar things...that they would observe and see which kids' parents weren't around much before doing anything. These pedophiles were very fond of coaching after school programs, too.

[Melody]

I always stay with the boys. Mind you, they are young yet but even as they get older, I wouldn't leave them. I don't trust other people with my kids by nature so the thought of not staying just wouldn't occur to me. If I really couldn't stay, he would miss a practice and stay with me or I would have a sitter watch him there rather than trust people I don't know.
I'm curious though, why don't the parents stay? Is there another time you could do errands? You just don't feel like sticking around? I always watch the boys and think how lucky I am to be able to make it to every game/practice and enjoy watching them. There is one boy on my sons baseball team, I'm sure he is an only child and he has no one to watch him, cheer him on or clap for him when he hits the ball. His father usually takes him but then sits in the truck and doesn't talk to anyone and once his mother came and she does the same thing. They don't say a word until the game is over. This boy doesn't play well with the other kids and does the rude name calling to other kids on the other team so I wonder if he had his family cheering him on, would it be different? Anyhow, I know it's not the same thing as what you meant and I may have gone a little off topic but this is what I see when they are left alone.

[Diane]

When my dd was in dance... which may be considered something entirely different than what you're talking about, we didn't have a choice... we COULDN'T stay. We could sit out in the hallway and wait but unless it was parent night, we couldn't be IN the classroom to watch the kids. I guess it never made me feel too uncomfortable because there was only one teacher and about 20 to 25 students and she was NEVER left alone with any one of them at a time. Also... the kids were never allowed to go to the restrooms by themselves or only with the teacher (because she couldn't leave all of the other kids) so I wasn't worried about it but... if I had had the option of staying and watching or going back home or run errands... I would have chosen to stay and watch. :)

[Ryleigh]

dk's gym. centre does not allw parents to be in during class time but does allow a 1/2 hour before or after class for the kids to show off there stuff for you. There is a lounge just above the gym with windows looking over the gym so you can watch what is going on. If leaving the premises you must make sure that you can be reached at a moments notice in case of injury. If you can not be contacted childrens services will be. I rotate schedules with a few other parents. We all take turns driving and watching out for the kids. I have no real concerns right now because SIL is one of the coaches on dd team and her son helps our with ds'. I'm a bit hesitant to how it is going to work out after we move. I don't want to leave them were I can't supervise what is happening.