Invitation to a party question

[RCT]

How far in advance should you recieve an invitation to a party?
What if you never got a formal invite, say it was to come via email, and you never got it?

I got a call from my dad yesterday, he asked if I got my invite via email for CHRISTMAS at his stepdaughters on Saturday Dec 16th, ok that is next Saturday, Hope your going to make it, bring two gifts for the gift exchange....OK
I explained again that I haven't gotten any invites in the mail or via email. Oh do you want her number so you can call and get more information about it? (NO)

Ladies what do you think about getting a call like this?
I have a really full schedual all ready.
Its the last weekend before Christmas right?

[angie r]

I would try to arrange to go. If your schedule doesn't permit, then just call and say you can't make it. There is one more Fri/Sat before Christmas Eve on Sunday. At least they aren't asking you to bring the main course!

[AnnW]

I have friends that do e-vites for parties.
One of two things happened..
it somehow got lost in cyberspace
they didn't really send you one
BUT, it sounds like your dad wants you to be there, so that is reason enough for me.

[RCT]

I have friends that do e-vites for parties.
One of two things happened..
it somehow got lost in cyberspace
they didn't really send you one
BUT, it sounds like your dad wants you to be there, so that is reason enough for me.

So you would cancel your previous plans and go?

[littlesista06]

So you would cancel your previous plans and go?

It would depend on how badly I wanted to go. If I didn't, I'd say "sorry we didn't receive your invitation and we have standing plans already."
To answer your first question - I think 2 weeks before the event is appropriate to send/receive an invitation.

There is a b'day lunch next Sat. for my stepdad being held by my step brother - mom asked me today if I'd gotten a call from them yet. Uh no.
Well, my feeling is - if everyone else has been invited, it's a week away and for me it's my only Sat. off in Dec. --- we won't be going even if we do eventually get an invite. (luckily, dd is keeping us busy, too, with her commitments. lol)

[Amy]

If you have plans, then by no means do you have to cancel in order to go. Life is short, stick with things that make you happy!!

[angie r]

If you have plans, then by no means do you have to cancel in order to go. Life is short, stick with things that make you happy!!

I'd do whichever thing I wanted to do more.

[AnnW]

Yep, life is short and you never know when it might be your last with someone.

but, I go with what Sista said and how she said it.

[Mickey]

Yep, life is short and you never know when it might be your last with someone...
This is why I'd go to the party my dad will be attending. If possible, I'd go to both--make an appearance at the first and then finish the evening at the one I want to go to the most.

[Diane]

This is why I'd go to the party my dad will be attending. If possible, I'd go to both--make an appearance at the first and then finish the evening at the one I want to go to the most.

Same here. In ten years which will you remember the most... the time you spent with your friends, or the time you spent with your dad/family? Friends come and go... but family is forever. :)

but when it comes right down to it... you'll have to go where you feel you want to go. Good luck with your decision... :)

[RCT]

:heart: :) Thanks for your opinions ladies.

[AnnW]

I like Mickey's suggestion. Try to do both if you can.

[SpeechMom]

Is this a party, or their Christmas celebration? If it's their Christmas, and you'll be celebrating another time with your Dad, then I wouldn't go. If it's a party, I'd go only if I wanted to.

[Melody]

I would go to the one I wanted to the most but also depending on if it was a Christmas celebration and if it was the only one to have with my dad or not.

I think a good 2 weeks or more for an invite. And I prefer email everything. lol I only check the mail box once a week, sometimes not even that so I get everything much faster through email. We recieved an email invite to a Christmas dinner for the 17th. I can't wait to go, should be fun. From a family we know through church and there will be a few other families going that we know. This couple has 2 sons in college and they will both be home, so many there are musically talented so lots of singing after dinner. :)

[RCT]

I prefer an invitation at least two weeks prior myself, but the fact I never recieved one at all, but am expected to be there and bring two gifts for the gift exchange, kinda floors me. I got a message from step sister who is having this party last night, "just calling to see about your RSVP, I need a head count and wanted to know if you are coming."
I emailed her that unfortunetly we already have standing plans for this Saturday.
I will see my Dad before Christmas.
I am a pretty strong woman, ..but I can't do this again.
I am done with the her side of the Family parties, I really don't like how I feel when we are all gathered together. It's not healthy for me, and I don't want to project my feelings onto my children.
I have my father and his wife to my home for dinner alot during the year, and will make it a point to have them over a little more often, but as for the holiday bashes with all her kids too, I'm done. After Thanksgiving....No more.
I cried way too much that day. Dh said he has no intention of seeing me go through that again, which coming from him means that its not just me being a baby.

[Diane]

I prefer an invitation at least two weeks prior myself, but the fact I never recieved one at all, but am expected to be there and bring two gifts for the gift exchange, kinda floors me. I got a message from step sister who is having this party last night, "just calling to see about your RSVP, I need a head count and wanted to know if you are coming."
I emailed her that unfortunetly we already have standing plans for this Saturday.
I will see my Dad before Christmas.
I am a pretty strong woman, ..but I can't do this again.
I am done with the her side of the Family parties, I really don't like how I feel when we are all gathered together. It's not healthy for me, and I don't want to project my feelings onto my children.
I have my father and his wife to my home for dinner alot during the year, and will make it a point to have them over a little more often, but as for the holiday bashes with all her kids too, I'm done. After Thanksgiving....No more.
I cried way too much that day. Dh said he has no intention of seeing me go through that again, which coming from him means that its not just me being a baby.

(((HUGS))) I totally forgot what you had to go through for Thanksgiving... :( I wouldn't be too thrilled to have to spend even more time with them after that either. Don't blame you one bit!!! Enjoy your Christmas and don't worry about them. After all you went through, none of them should be too surprised if you don't show up. LOL Hang in there....

[AnnW]

Then you should definitely not go. I didn't know if this was your only chance to celebrate Christmas with your dad.

[RCT]

I emailed sil early this morning,and called her cell and left a message, that we would be unable to attend. Remember ladies I have never recieved an invite, well I didn't get home until 7:15 PM, and the phone was ringing we missed it, but there were 6 messages on the machine 1st from Step sister, "I need your RSVP we are doing a head count for the gift exchange." not really pleasant, but ok 2nd messaged was from a step brothers wife, who I barely know " we really need your RSVP about the Party Saturday." 3rd message Sil again. only now she is bitchy " I wish you would call me back, I need a head count for this party."
Well hello, I WORK 40 hours a week! 4th message was SIL again, and well I just hit the delete key. Got the phone book out and then thought better of it....called my Dad Very sweetly in my little angel daughter voice, (Yes I know its immature and wrong to use that Daddy's little girl act at 40, but OK...I did it ;) ) explained that it seems that all the SIL's are upset with me about this party and my RSVP, I emailed her and left a message for her, amazingly, he was a little miffed at the SIL's for hounding me. He will take care of them getting the message.

YAHOOO! :tinysmile :tinysmile :tinysmile :tinysmile :tinysmile

[Diane]

I emailed sil early this morning,and called her cell and left a message, that we would be unable to attend. Remember ladies I have never recieved an invite, well I didn't get home until 7:15 PM, and the phone was ringing we missed it, but there were 6 messages on the machine 1st from Step sister, "I need your RSVP we are doing a head count for the gift exchange." not really pleasant, but ok 2nd messaged was from a step brothers wife, who I barely know " we really need your RSVP about the Party Saturday." 3rd message Sil again. only now she is bitchy " I wish you would call me back, I need a head count for this party."
Well hello, I WORK 40 hours a week! 4th message was SIL again, and well I just hit the delete key. Got the phone book out and then thought better of it....called my Dad Very sweetly in my little angel daughter voice, (Yes I know its immature and wrong to use that Daddy's little girl act at 40, but OK...I did it ;) ) explained that it seems that all the SIL's are upset with me about this party and my RSVP, I emailed her and left a message for her, amazingly, he was a little miffed at the SIL's for hounding me. He will take care of them getting the message.

YAHOOO! :tinysmile :tinysmile :tinysmile :tinysmile :tinysmile

Oh Renee... you poor thing! I couldn't even imagine having to deal with these people. Glad you got it taken care of... :)

[Melody]

I emailed sil early this morning,and called her cell and left a message, that we would be unable to attend. Remember ladies I have never recieved an invite, well I didn't get home until 7:15 PM, and the phone was ringing we missed it, but there were 6 messages on the machine 1st from Step sister, "I need your RSVP we are doing a head count for the gift exchange." not really pleasant, but ok 2nd messaged was from a step brothers wife, who I barely know " we really need your RSVP about the Party Saturday." 3rd message Sil again. only now she is bitchy " I wish you would call me back, I need a head count for this party."
Well hello, I WORK 40 hours a week! 4th message was SIL again, and well I just hit the delete key. Got the phone book out and then thought better of it....called my Dad Very sweetly in my little angel daughter voice, (Yes I know its immature and wrong to use that Daddy's little girl act at 40, but OK...I did it ;) ) explained that it seems that all the SIL's are upset with me about this party and my RSVP, I emailed her and left a message for her, amazingly, he was a little miffed at the SIL's for hounding me. He will take care of them getting the message.

YAHOOO! :tinysmile :tinysmile :tinysmile :tinysmile :tinysmile

You are much better than me. I would have called her back to tell her that not only did I leave 2 messages with my reply, I didn't get an invite in the first place so she should calm the he!! down. lol Glad your dad is taking care of it. Don't blame you for not going. Yikes!

[Amy]

I actually liked that you took the Daddy angle! I also like when Ann used it against SM. Sometimes confrontation is not always the answer (okay-I am the queen of confrontation, but don't follow my lead on it. LOL). Sometimes it is good to play the martyr and let the fathers see things as they really are. If you go off half-****ed on SIL, then your Dad will only see your hostility, not the actual problem.

[RCT]

If you go off half-****ed on SIL, then your Dad will only see your hostility, not the actual problem.


AMEN!

Plus I think Daddy's love it, when they get to feel like your hero again....;)

[Mickey]

I forgot about Thanksgiving, Renee (or just didn't put the two together). Glad you talked to your dad about it. (Like Amy, I probably would have confronted her myself, but I agree that this was probably the better option.)

[Diane]

I actually liked that you took the Daddy angle! I also like when Ann used it against SM. Sometimes confrontation is not always the answer (okay-I am the queen of confrontation, but don't follow my lead on it. LOL). Sometimes it is good to play the martyr and let the fathers see things as they really are. If you go off half-****ed on SIL, then your Dad will only see your hostility, not the actual problem.

Exactly!! :) I think it's important for them to know what happened and how you feel about it. At least his wife won't look so innocent, no matter how much she tries to make it look like she is.