GREAT, Got my Easter Invite

[RCT]

phone rang this morning, I grabbed it as I was doing the dishes....it was the Step Monster, she wanted to know if we could come up for an inpromtu birthday party for one of her daughters, short notice, I declined. Then it came out, oh can you make it for Easter? I was taken back so I said I would check with dh because I thought we might already have committed to something elsewhere.

ARGH..then she goes on and on about how much they enjoy having all the grandkids around and how important it is for all the cousins to have each other...blah blah blah....on and on about her daughters and thier children and her grandsons who are both expected babies at the same time (they got married at the same time too) it just seem to drag on, I finally said thank you for the invites and that I had to go, and I would get back with her regarding Easter...argh.....

[Diane]

phone rang this morning, I grabbed it as I was doing the dishes....it was the Step Monster, she wanted to know if we could come up for an inpromtu birthday party for one of her daughters, short notice, I declined. Then it came out, oh can you make it for Easter? I was taken back so I said I would check with dh because I thought we might already have committed to something elsewhere.

ARGH..then she goes on and on about how much they enjoy having all the grandkids around and how important it is for all the cousins to have each other...blah blah blah....on and on about her daughters and thier children and her grandsons who are both expected babies at the same time (they got married at the same time too) it just seem to drag on, I finally said thank you for the invites and that I had to go, and I would get back with her regarding Easter...argh.....


Oh... you poor thing. I hope you'll be able to come up with a good excuse. I always found it was always harder calling them back with an excuse than to say no right away. It seemed more believable... :) Good luck dear... :)

[AnnW]

You handled that great! Now, call back in a few days and said 'i checked with dh and we have plans. Wish everyone happy Easter for me'.


i got tickled, dad's wife's youngest son is in town. i really like him so when i went over today i came in to say hi. he greeted me 'hey sister!' it sort of took me back. LOL i don't think of them as family. i really enjoy two of them alot, don't know the other son and can't stand the other daughter. BUT they have had alot of step siblings through out the years so they don't think any of it this whole blended family.

[RCT]

Oh... you poor thing. I hope you'll be able to come up with a good excuse. I always found it was always harder calling them back with an excuse than to say no right away. It seemed more believable... :) Good luck dear... :)

No Excuses for me, I am going to tell my Dad at lunch on Monday, explain that dh and I have decided to have a quiet Easter at home this year.

[RCT]

You handled that great! Now, call back in a few days and said 'i checked with dh and we have plans. Wish everyone happy Easter for me'.


i got tickled, dad's wife's youngest son is in town. i really like him so when i went over today i came in to say hi. he greeted me 'hey sister!' it sort of took me back. LOL i don't think of them as family. i really enjoy two of them alot, don't know the other son and can't stand the other daughter. BUT they have had alot of step siblings through out the years so they don't think any of it this whole blended family.

:lol: I hear ya Ann, they are his new family memebers not mine....

It still takes me back when my youngest Step Brother, who was 11 when my Dad married his Mom, calls my Dad, DAD....Why wouldn't he though right?

[RCT]

Funny but DH and I work 40 + a week.
I end up cramming all the other things in my life into two days Sat. and Sun.

So when I get invitations on short notice, or to something I am not really interested in doing, I shouldn't have to right? :biglaugh:

[Diane]

Funny but DH and I work 40 + a week.
I end up cramming all the other things in my life into two days Sat. and Sun.

So when I get invitations on short notice, or to something I am not really interested in doing, I shouldn't have to right? :biglaugh:

You shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to do. I don't go out to work, but dh does... and our time alone/together is limited, (as is your family time) so when he comes home from work we like to spend what time we do have, alone together. It probably sounds selfish of me but I don't care, guess sometimes you just have to be selfish. :) :)

[Diane]

:lol: I hear ya Ann, they are his new family memebers not mine....

It still takes me back when my youngest Step Brother, who was 11 when my Dad married his Mom, calls my Dad, DAD....Why wouldn't he though right?

I think I'd feel funny hearing someone who wasn't born to my dad calling him dad. LOL Maybe it would be more of a sharing issue with me, :( but I think it would probably bother me a little, especially at first... but I'm sure your dad was just thrilled and made him feel accepted by his new ss.

[littlesista06]

Oh... you poor thing. I hope you'll be able to come up with a good excuse. I always found it was always harder calling them back with an excuse than to say no right away. It seemed more believable... :) Good luck dear... :)

I honestly can't believe how incrediby rude you could be to do that, Diane.

Renee, I'm glad you just deicded to tell them what you really want to do that day and not make an excuse. She was, and seems to always be, inviting of you and your family into their home. It's a shame you can't establish a fondness or something since she is a member of your family.

I am curious... how come after, how ever many years it's been, you continue to see it "his new family, not mine"? You are your Dad's family and his family is your family, how come this can't be embraced in some way?
When you decline invites with the family, your kids are being denied as well. Or, to they see him alone without her? Is she the only grandmother they have ever really known? Or did they know your dh's mom when you lived in NY? Even so, now that ya'll are out in CA, wouldn't they enjoy having a west coast grandma? :tinysmile

As far as her son calling your father Dad, yeah you're right, why not? People who call their fil's Dad are no more related to them than a step child/parent. :)

[Diane]

I honestly can't believe how incrediby rude you could be to do that, Diane

Rude???? If I already had other plans, which Renee does... (staying home and spending a nice/quiet day at home alone with her family) why would it be rude to tell him you already had other plans? If I had to call someone back later to me it would look as if dh/I had to come up with some kind of an excuse. I see nothing rude in telling him that I already had plans if I did.

[RCT]

Renee, I'm glad you just deicded to tell them what you really want to do that day and not make an excuse. She was, and seems to always be, inviting of you and your family into their home. It's a shame you can't establish a fondness or something since she is a member of your family.

I am curious... how come after, how ever many years it's been, you continue to see it "his new family, not mine"? You are your Dad's family and his family is your family, how come this can't be embraced in some way?
When you decline invites with the family, your kids are being denied as well. Or, to they see him alone without her? Is she the only grandmother they have ever really known? Or did they know your dh's mom when you lived in NY? Even so, now that ya'll are out in CA, wouldn't they enjoy having a west coast grandma? :tinysmile

As far as her son calling your father Dad, yeah you're right, why not? People who call their fil's Dad are no more related to them than a step child/parent. :)

It does sound strange doesn't it?

My Step Mother is my Mothers cousin, so its not like I haven't known this woman all my life, It wasn't always a good relationship even back then, we have butted heads in the past. She is really a pushy woman, the kind that really tries not to take no for an answer, there is always something in it for her, when my mother died and I heard her name come up, I knew what she wanted, my father.

DH got an offer to leave the state moving to NJ, around that time My dad decided to remarry, we were gone 10 years....everything was good, my dad flew to NJ often, But he was really busy with his new life, and I was busy raising my new family. I spoke with my father at least twice a month by telephone. My children unbelievably, have a good bond with my dad and his wife. Both kids have a great relationships with all their New York kin too.

We do live in the same state now, but we live over two hours away, I work 40 hours a week, I do compromise allot I think and except more invites there than not. I have had them over for dinner just us and them, which usually works better for us all, when we are all together with her 7 children and their broods, its too many, and unfortunately Dh, my brother and I and our children kept swept into the corner, or so it seems, asked to run all the CINDERELLA CHORES....(its just how I feel). Really I am never less than wonderful when I am with them, maybe that is my real problem, I FAKE it. I never want my father to know I am not fond of his wife, I think it would devastate him. I love him to much to hurt him that way.

[littlesista06]

Rude???? If I already had other plans, which Renee does... (staying home and spending a nice/quiet day at home alone with her family) why would it be rude to tell him you already had other plans? If I had to call someone back later to me it would look as if dh/I had to come up with some kind of an excuse. I see nothing rude in telling him that I already had plans if I did.

Sorry, weren't you the one who wrote this:

Oh... you poor thing. I hope you'll be able to come up with a good excuse.

[Diane]

Sorry, weren't you the one who wrote this:

Yeah... for what they were doing... like staying home, perhaps getting invited somewhere else by the time she thought he was going to ask her? If I didn't want to go somewhere I'd sure be hoping for another invite/excuse to go somewhere else. You're taking what I meant totally the wrong way.

[littlesista06]

[QUOTE]...perhaps getting invited somewhere else by the time she thought he was going to ask her?
But she posted she'd already been invited...


If I didn't want to go somewhere I'd sure be hoping for another invite/excuse to go somewhere else.
So, you are saying, if I understand correctly, that if you get an invitation you don't want to accept you put them off, hope you get another invitation after that, that you want to accept, or find something else to do completely - then call them back and tell them you have other plans?
Is that what you were saying?

[littlesista06]

It does sound strange doesn't it?

My Step Mother is my Mothers cousin, so its not like I haven't known this woman all my life, It wasn't always a good relationship even back then, we have butted heads in the past. She is really a pushy woman, the kind that really tries not to take no for an answer, there is always something in it for her, when my mother died and I heard her name come up, I knew what she wanted, my father.

DH got an offer to leave the state moving to NJ, around that time My dad decided to remarry, we were gone 10 years....everything was good, my dad flew to NJ often, But he was really busy with his new life, and I was busy raising my new family. I spoke with my father at least twice a month by telephone. My children unbelievably, have a good bond with my dad and his wife. Both kids have a great relationships with all their New York kin too.

We do live in the same state now, but we live over two hours away, I work 40 hours a week, I do compromise allot I think and except more invites there than not. I have had them over for dinner just us and them, which usually works better for us all, when we are all together with her 7 children and their broods, its too many, and unfortunately Dh, my brother and I and our children kept swept into the corner, or so it seems, asked to run all the CINDERELLA CHORES....(its just how I feel). Really I am never less than wonderful when I am with them, maybe that is my real problem, I FAKE it. I never want my father to know I am not fond of his wife, I think it would devastate him. I love him to much to hurt him that way.

Renee, I totally forgot she was a relative of the family. How long have they been married now? Glad to know the kids have good relations with them. I'm lucky that dd has both sets of g'parents living so close and I wish everyone (who wanted that, lol) could have it too.

I'm sorry it's less than ideal and of course with you working full time, etc. it's hard to be everywhere everytime. I am just a bleeding heart for stepmom's everywhere. LOL My mom is a stepmom and is not treated the best (cold shoulder kinda things) and she can't figure out whether to give a damn anymore (after 20 years of being married) or keep trying to figure out how to make his kids happy...

I am the FIRST to admit, I have not had a stepmom. I have a stepdad but just see things from the perspective of a stepmother. I just have a soft spot b/c sometimes, a stepmom (not stepmonster, don't I don't like namecalling lol) is a really nice person and someone's mom. Isn't it sad we just can't all get along?? lol I'm not wagging my finger at you, just that your postings had raised questions and like I said, I feel for all stepmoms.

Enjoy your Easter Renee and I'm still so glad she's including you and your family b/c being 2 hours away, it'd be so easy for her to use that as an excuse not to. But, these are just my observations. :)

[RCT]

Renee, I totally forgot she was a relative of the family. How long have they been married now? Glad to know the kids have good relations with them. I'm lucky that dd has both sets of g'parents living so close and I wish everyone (who wanted that, lol) could have it too.

I'm sorry it's less than ideal and of course with you working full time, etc. it's hard to be everywhere everytime. I am just a bleeding heart for stepmom's everywhere. LOL My mom is a stepmom and is not treated the best (cold shoulder kinda things) and she can't figure out whether to give a damn anymore (after 20 years of being married) or keep trying to figure out how to make his kids happy...

I am the FIRST to admit, I have not had a stepmom. I have a stepdad but just see things from the perspective of a stepmother. I just have a soft spot b/c sometimes, a stepmom (not stepmonster, don't I don't like namecalling lol) is a really nice person and someone's mom. Isn't it sad we just can't all get along?? lol I'm not wagging my finger at you, just that your postings had raised questions and like I said, I feel for all stepmoms.

Enjoy your Easter Renee and I'm still so glad she's including you and your family b/c being 2 hours away, it'd be so easy for her to use that as an excuse not to. But, these are just my observations. :)

Oh Jen, your so sweet..
I feel for your mother and all step mothers out there, I think it takes a special kind of person to step in (excuse my pun) and raised someone elses children, it can't be an easy road to go down, with a new husband and these children who are usually less than excepting...

I am very lucky she isn't really horrible and mean, she does include my fathers kids in all invitations. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I am so sweet and nice that I should have my own gold statue, I can't say that I have ever been unkind or said a mean thing to her, because I am a FRAUD around her. ok that is the TRUTH...and I must really resent it more than I like to admit.

I promised my dying mother to never get in the way of my fathers love life if he chose to have one, and rather than be honest with my dislike for her, way back then (1993) I chose to be quiet, I was leaving and he was happy...really didn't think we would end up in the same state again..oh well...live and learn.




:tinysmile

[Diane]

But she posted she'd already been invited...


So, you are saying, if I understand correctly, that if you get an invitation you don't want to accept you put them off, hope you get another invitation after that, that you want to accept, or find something else to do completely - then call them back and tell them you have other plans?
Is that what you were saying?




You know something... take it the way you want and call me RUDE if it makes you feel better. That is not what was meant... but if you want to think that, fine. She had not yet given her sm a reply, she said she'd let her know... so if she got another invitation to go somewhere else or they decided they'd rather stay home... she could do/say whatever she wanted. If that makes me a “rude” person (which I don't believe I am) then I guess you can call/consider me rude. :)

Quite honestly, I don't know of one person who, at one time or another, hasn't made up an excuse for not going somewhere. When I was in high school and a kid would call to ask me out and I didn't like him and didn't want to go out... I made up an excuse because I wanted to spare his feelings. While I was at dh’s aunts house the other day she turned down a dinner invitation to a neighbor’s house telling her she was already busy. After she hung up the phone she told me she didn’t want to eat over there because her house was a pit. Not once did I ever think of her as being rude. Sometimes I think it would be more rude to tell the truth. If that makes me a bad and rude person... then I guess that’s what I am. Sooo... is that what you wanted to hear? :)

[littlesista06]

You know something... take it the way you want and call me RUDE if it makes you feel better. In this case... that is not what was meant... but if you want to think that, that's fine. :) She had not yet given her sm a reply, said she'd let her know... so if they got another invitation to go somewhere else or they decided they'd rather stay home... she could do/say whatever she wanted. If that makes me a rude person (which I don't believe I am) then I guess I'm rude.
No Diane, it doesn't make me feel better. Good grief. :rolleyes:


Quite honestly, I don't know of one person who, at one time or another, hasn't made up an excuse for not going somewhere. When I was in high school if a kid would call to ask me out and I didn't like him and didn't want to go out... I made up an excuse because I wanted to spare his feelings. Sometimes I think it would be more rude to tell them the truth. If that makes me a bad and rude person... then I guess I am.
Yeah, okay I'll give you that in high school. But this ain't high school! LOL

I read what you wrote, voiced my opinion. You said I misinterpreted, so I tried to reinterpret based on your explainatin and even then I got it wrong. Can't figure out what you were meaning, but whatever. I am not going to beat a dead horse.

[Diane]

No Diane, it doesn't make me feel better. Good grief. :rolleyes:


Yeah, okay I'll give you that in high school. But this ain't high school! LOL

I read what you wrote, voiced my opinion. You said I misinterpreted, so I tried to reinterpret based on your explainatin and even then I got it wrong. Can't figure out what you were meaning, but whatever. I am not going to beat a dead horse.

It may not be school but that's the way it is.
Renee... I have you have a GREAT Easter... wherever you decide to spend it. :) :) :)