Your childhood vs your childrens childhood

[RCT]

How different was your childhood from what your children are going through?
Are you trying to re create what you had, are you able to?

[Amy]

mine is nothing like my kids. Growing up in the 70's is much different than it is today. My kids don't get free run. I need to know where they are playing at any given time. I also don't let them ride motorcycles around the neighborhood. ;) I also just don't 'give' them things. The need to earn money or wait for the appropriate age for certain things. They need to learn the value of working towards things they want.

[AnnW]

i had a much better childhood than my kids.

[Leigh]

i had a much better childhood than my kids.

I think this is the norm now, and I find it so sad because as parents we want our children to have a better life than us, but because of society it doesn't really work out that way.

[AnnW]

I think this is the norm now, and I find it so sad because as parents we want our children to have a better life than us, but because of society it doesn't really work out that way.

Not even talking about society/safeness and all that. i had more opportunities than my kids.

[BevJ]

I had nothing growing up. We didn't have a car to go places, never ate out, didn't get toys (except for skipping ropes every spring). We had hand-me-down clothes. Ds is spoiled in comparison. We also spend more time with ds, teaching him, investing in his education and appreciating him as a person, and my parents didn't do that, but with 6 kids and a disabled father on a veteran's pension, I think we turned out alright... at least "I" did, can't speak for my siblings :lol:

[Diane]

Our kids had it much better than I did. My dad was very strict/controlling. He wouldn't let us out of his site, except for when we went to school. We weren't allowed to join any extra curricular activities, we had to be home from school by a certain time every night, or we'd be in trouble. We couldn't have friends over nor could we go over to their houses, unless they were from the immediate neighborhood. New toy's were rare, unless it was for our birthday or Christmas. There was 5 of us kids and only lived on my dad's income... so that was understandable. We weren't allowed to have an opinion... and got scolded if we spoke out of turn. We were never hugged or told we were loved... :( I wouldn't wish my life as a child on my children for anything. :lol:

I probably spoiled my kids because I wanted them to have all the things I didn't have. :) I made sure they joined in on a lot of activities, bought them things I knew they'd like/want... had their friends over often, and vise versa... plus, they always knew they were loved and cared about. We were always very active in our children's lives. We were a very close family, and still are...

I'm NOT complaining, because I think I turned out okay... and considering the life my dad had (his was worse than mine. ;) ) I think he did the best he could.

[JamesFrier]

you know this is a tough call, as to the differences between generations. seems the farther advanced we get we loose certain things that were so valuable. yet, opportunities are so much greater today ... it's just so hard to compare.
in the end ... i think i can say, my son has it better in alot of ways .... :roll:

[Leigh]

I think this is the norm now, and I find it so sad because as parents we want our children to have a better life than us, but because of society it doesn't really work out that way.


I guess as far as material things, ds does have it better than me for now (granted he isn't even 2 yet...LOL. Not sure that will always be the case, but it is for now. He will probably be as active or more active than myself in extra curricular activities as well, and he will probably have more friends over. We lived out in the boonie, so friends didn't come out here nor did I go to their houses much. As far as getting to go places unsupervised (ie. amusement parks, bowling alley, etc).... he won't. There are too many crazy people out there now. I remember in the summer, I used to go stay with my aunt, and my cousin and I would be dropped off at Six Flags and stay all day by ourselves (as young teens). I can't see doing that with ds. I would almost be too scared to drop him off at the movies with friends alone. I also used to walk from my mom's office to the library or ride my bike around the block. I really can't see letting ds do that now either. It is really hard to say though... I have a while before I have to worry about things like that, but that is just the way I see it now.

[MaryL]

Oh, my kids definitely are having a better childhood than I had. Although, thinking back, I viewed it as great (a terrific tribute to my mom who raised us as a single parent on a very limited income). Dh and I are able to give dks some of the opportunities that I never had. Dh had a more priviledged childhood, more similar to what we are able to provide for dks.

[kat]

I grew up thinking that we ate pinto beans 3-4 nights a week for dinner, and mayonaise sandwiches for lunch because we liked them. Many times that's all we had. We were never hungry. I had a bicycle I had to share with my brother & sister. We wore hand me down clothes and got new shoes every September. We never ate out except when we drove to see my grandparents each summer. On the last leg of the trip we'd stop at a hamburger joint in my hometown and bought 4 hamburgers for $1.00. I remember that as a treat my mom and dad would sometimes take us out on Sunday afternoons for a Big Red Soda. We played outside from morning until dark and were never bored. Whenever we lived on base we'd always walk to the bowling alley, the movies, or the pool. (As a matter of fact, we walked everywhere. If we couldn't walk there, we didn't go.) That was pretty cheap intertainment.

After daddy retired. We lived in the boondocks, grew a garden, raised livestock, went swimming in the creek.

In hind sight, I think I should have raised my kids the same way. I wanted them to have all the things I didn't have, or at least I bought into that line of thinking. Growing up, I never really felt like we were the "poor kids". I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anything.

[littlesista06]

My dd has it sooooo much better than I did.

First, her parents are still married; mine were divorced by the time I was 5, and my dad moved away when I was 7, not to been seen again til I was 18.

Secondly, she's much more confident than I was and has more opportunities I had and excels at most. Her grades are better, her social skills better... I attribute most all of it to my marriage being as good as it is.

As far as "stuff", yeah, she probably has more, but she doesn't ask for much, either.

[AnnW]

it's not even money and things...i had a grandfather till i was a junior in college, my greatgrandmother till right before i was married, my grandmother up untill about 10 years ago. my kids knew her well. we had tons of cousins around. we did things as a family alot.
my kids don't have that. sure their grandparents may be living but they are far and bitter and the kids don't want to go there. my dad's wife has pretty much ruined family things with my dad so the kids don't have that and they don't want to deal with her.

[kat]

it's not even money and things...i had a grandfather till i was a junior in college, my greatgrandmother till right before i was married, my grandmother up untill about 10 years ago. my kids knew her well. we had tons of cousins around. we did things as a family alot.
my kids don't have that. sure their grandparents may be living but they are far and bitter and the kids don't want to go there. my dad's wife has pretty much ruined family things with my dad so the kids don't have that and they don't want to deal with her.

That is so true. I too was blessed to have two wonderful sets of grandparents active in my life. My mom's parents passed about 5 years ago, my dad's dad a year and a half ago, and my gm is still living in a local nursing home. I even had ggp until well after I was married. We are having a family reunion next weekend for her and I can't wait! All the cousins I grew up around will be there.

My kids have also known both sets of their grandparents as well. My parents and dh's parents however are not the same as my grandparents were. Dh's parents while wonderful just aren't that hands on and my parents aren't in good health. My mom has struggled with her diabetes for 15 years now. She has the heart just not a body that will cooperate. My mom is "so much older" than my gms ever were. My gm though frail now still have more energy in the nursing home than my mom.

[littlesista06]

You are absolutely right, it's not all about things. My dd has close relationships to both sets of g'parents where I did not. Both sets live within 15 miles of us (my mom is 7 miles from our house) She has cousins that she's close to, where I didn't.
Her friendships are tighter and are overall experiences are greater than I ever had.

Darn, I think I'm getting depressed over my life! LOL!!

[BevJ]

Take away material things and ds still has it better. He is more confident than I was all through his life. He has friends he met pre-kindergarten (plus some) and I had a new friend every year that last a month or two. He has an opportunity to continue his education (and will). He has a driver's license and two cars to choose from. He has two jobs. He knows two of his grandparents (I only knew one). He has two parents who work and neither of mine did (Dad's war injuries prevented him from doing so). There's so many differences in his life compared to what dh and I had growing up. I am so glad that his opportunities are greater.

[MaryL]

It is true that my dks live a very different kind of childhood than I did, but a lot of it is based on the way the world is today. Heck, when we were kids we were outside all of the time...we tended to use our imaginations and had a blast. Kids these days don't seems to do that as much. We weren't tempted with the availability of video games, cell phones, e-mail, etc. Not that those are "things" as much as they use up the time that we used to spend doing other stuff! We used to ride out bikes all around town...at all hours of the day. We'd go up to the local pool, and hang out all day. (No parents...no locking up bikes.) Can't do that anymore with the child abductions, crazy drivers (bike injuries), bullies/gangs, etc. We lived a more simple life, because life was more simple.

[PamE]

I believe my kids have it better. My parents were together but there was the stress of them fighting constanly and when I was older the constant threat of divorce. We moved on average every six months which wreaked havoc with my education. :grimace: I think they have more in the way of opportunities as well. More confidence than I did, for sure. They have more material things, but they still hear the word "no" ;) or have to wait till they can save up their own money for some things. That's another plus, we're teaching our kids the value of money, how to budget, how to pay bills, etc. Something I was completely clueless on before we were married! (Poor dh! :lol: )

Like Jenn, I think the fact that dh and I have a great marriage is the best advantage we can give them.

[Diane]

Sometimes I wish we could have those day's back. ;)
Altough there are so many new/different... wonderful things our children are able to experience that we weren't able to... I sometimes feel they're missing out on so many of the things that really counted/mattered. Instead of being stuck in the house playing video games, we played outside with our friends. You see so many obese children now aday's and wonder why... :( I can't imagine how life would be without cell phones and computers... I'm just as caught up in them as anyone else. Once in a while when there isn't anything else on... I'll sit and watch Little House on the Prairie or The Walton's and think how good things were back then, especially how close families were., how hard they worked... and how they depended upon each other for entertainment.

I agree, things were sooo much simpler when we were growing up... :)