Need Advice From Teachers

[kathleen]

We have moved over the summer, so my son will be starting first grade in August at a new school -- one where he doesn't know any other kids. I do not know anyone at the school either -- am not from the town to which we just moved. My husband is from the area, and knows a few people, though not anyone who works at the school.

Here is my dilemma: The teacher/student assignments have been posted at the school. When I tell other people (acquaintances, family, and family friends) who my son's teacher will be, they get a funny look on their faces and just say "Oh." Some people say this teacher is a "yeller" and yells at the children.

What do I do -- how do I not let these people influence my thoughts on this teacher? I am trying to keep an open mind -- and concerning myself with my son's apprehension about going to the new school. I do not believe in asking for favors from the school about getting a specific teacher, and just want to play it by ear -- see how my son does, how well he learns in this class, etc. I want to watch how this teacher does -- see if the focus is on learning or discipline. I want my son (and me and my husband) to have a good relationship with the teacher.

Anyone have any advice or insight for me? Thanks much.

kathleen.

[JAK]

We just moved in Feb. and I went through the same thing. My dd went into a new first grade class. We didn't know anybody at all. I met one lady with a ds in my dd's class a few weeks after we moved in and she was always complaining about the teacher (and all the other teachers as well). My dd LOVED her teacher and for a while I didn't really like her as a person (I thought she was kind of stuck up) but she was a good teacher. It took her until the end of May to warm up to me but in the end I liked her after all (as a person) it just took a while.

Now in Sept. dd will be starting 2nd grade and I don't know any of those teachers either. I have heard things about one of the teachers being a yeller and that she keeps the kids for up to 30 minutes after school for no reason. (I heard this all from the same lady as before). I finally just decided that I really don't care what this woman thinks and I will come to my own conclusions upon meeting dd's new teacher. Ds will be going to K this year as well so we'll have 2 new teachers to deal with.

I'm sure things will work out. Just play it by ear like you said (as will I)! We will be in the same boat to vent to each other if need be in a few months! :)

[kathleen]

Jen -- I am trying to remember that everybody's opinions are just that -- opinions! School starts here August 1, so it won't be long before we meet the teacher at Back to School Night toward the end of the month. I am just trying to make things sound really exciting for my son and not show him any of my concerns.

How exciting for your DS to be going to kindergarten. Thanks for listening. Kathleen.

[Amy2]

I know I am a huge big mouth, but I would probably talk with the teacher and say something like "Rumor has it that you are pretty outspoken with the kids? Can you tell me about your discipline techniques?" or whatever. You would probably learn a lot about her, and it might put your mind at ease. Amy

[momtomonkeys]

As a former teacher, I have to say PLEASE DO NOT form any opinions about the teacher before you meet her. The opinions others have given you may have resulted in something pertaining only to that child/parent. For example, their child may have really been a behavior problem. So, try (very hard) to wipe all that negativity away and keep an open mind. Whatever you do don't let your child know about the "gossip" you have heard...that would probably add to the anxiety of going to a new school. Let me also say that as a former teacher I even heard other teachers talking about teaching styles of certain teachers. I was across the hall from one and she always kept her door open and I never saw any behaviors that others said existed. So, don't always believe what you hear.

My dd is starting pre-k in the Fall. She will be going to a private school where neither of us know anyone (students or teachers). So, this should be very interesting for us. However, I kind of like the fact that we don't have any pre-set ideas about certain teachers/students. But, even if I had heard things I would try to keep an open mind for my daughter's sake. Good luck to you!

[AnnW]

My dd was in a reading program in school this past year. Her teacher had been in the classroom the year before becoming the reading specialist. I can not tell you how many moms came up to me saying "do NOT let your dd be taught by Ms so and so..she is awful, evil ect" It blew me away and scared the socks off of me!!! BUT she was WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!! DD adored her, she helped dd so much it was incredible. I had super communication with her. What I later found out was that she was having a crisis in her personal life that year prior, plus she wasn't really a teacher trained to be in the classroom but trained to be a specialist.
All I am saying is, that every year the circumstances change. Just keep that information in the back of your head and use it if need be, but don't let it prejudice you. And as far as your ds being new in first grade...in our school, I would say almost a 1/3 of our 1st graders are new as they have come from private kindergarten.
Take care.

[kathleen]

Thanks much for the input. My husband and I talked last night and we decided we were just going to leave things as they are -- you all are right, there are no facts, just what other people say they have seen.

We strongly believe that our children will get out of school what we as a family put into it -- meaning the time we work with him at home, being involved, supporting school functions, and having good communication with his teacher.

(One thing he is excited about this year is eating lunch at school -- from his own lunchbox. Isn't it funny how excited little ones get over such things! I love it!)

Thanks. Kathleen.

[kat]

We strongly believe that our children will get out of school what we as a family put into it -- meaning the time we work with him at home, being involved, supporting school functions, and having good communication with his teacher.

Amen! That is the attitude to have. I have been called everything from the greatest thing since sliced bread to the scum of the earth. This rumor you heard may have come from someone who did not have a good experience with this teacher and not really reflect her abilities.

[kathleen]

I think teachers are wonderful people. (Of course, I am sure I didn't feel that way when I was in school.) Now that I am grown up, I can look back and remember the special ones -- and I want that for my son. The old saying that "those who can, DO; those who can't, TEACH." is SO WRONG! I like that commercial, too, where the kid talks about wanting to be a teacher when he grows up and says something like, "Where would all the doctors and lawyers come from if there were no teacher?" They amaze me with all they have to do.