Kids and Public Restrooms

[Mickey]

I think we've covered this a while back, but today I saw a dad send his son (who was about 3 1/2 years old) into a public men's room by himself. The guy also had a dd who looked to be around 2, so I could see his dilemma, but I am dreading sending my 5 yo ds into a public men's room alone. There are two reason's for my dreading this--I hate public restrooms and we have a "ritual" that we do--never touch the toilet or door knobs or faucet handles in there. And the other reason is I don't trust strangers alone in a men's room with my child.

I know it must be tougher for dads to take their daughters into men's rooms, but I still take ds into the ladies' room with me. And when dh, ds and I are all out together, many times I take ds to the ladies' room with me then, too (depending where we are)--because dh says most men's rooms are disgustingly dirty.

When do you plan to (or did you) let your kids go alone? I remember some mom's posting about being uncomfortable when a 7 or 8 yo boy was in the ladies' room, but I don't have a problem with that since we have stalls in there. A 7 or 8 yo girl in a men's room is another story since most men's rooms have open urinals. I really like the "family" restrooms at most malls and hope to see more of them in the future.

[MaryL]

It really depends on the place! Luckily I have two boys....and on occasion, with me outside the door, I will send them in to the men's room together. My older ds knows that he HAS to wait for his brother. It does get wierd when they turn 7....and I'm not sure why (being in school all day????????). My 7 year old ds prefers to use the men's room.....he'll go into the ladies room if I insist...but it doesn't seem comfortable to him anymore. I do feel that people give me "looks" when I take him into the ladies room (not that I care about the "looks"...I do what I feel comfortable with). I still take my 5 year old into the ladies room with me...and he's cool with that. I guess I usually use the bathroom as long as we're in there...and now they're too big to watch me "go"...so I have them stand by the sinks, or right outside my stall. When we are out with dh, I always make him take the boys to the men's room....that's part of the deal of having sons! LOL:D

I wrestle with the same issue, Mickey....I'll be interested to hear what other's say.

[arianna]

MM! Same as Mary for me. It depends where we are. If there are alot of people around, we ALL go to the ladies room. If anyone has given me looks, I haven't noticed. I wouldn't care either. My childrens' saftey is first and formost. We don't have family restrooms here. That would be my choice though. ßß!

[KarlaB]

My ds (4) goes in the restroom with me. He is actually pretty tall for his age and since he's been about 3 people have thought he was in kindergarten, but when I take him into the restrooms I have never noticed any uncomfortable looks. Like others have said, I wouldn't care if they did as his safety is more important. We do have a family restroom at our mall and that is wonderful!

[PamE]

Ds is 6 1/2 and I still take him in the ladies room whenever dh isn't around. At this point I have no qualms about it and don't plan on changing tactics. There is no guarantee that he wouldn't come out of the bathroom totally naked if I sent him into the men's room alone!! There is every likelihood that that problem may not go away for some years yet. So far I haven't gotten any "looks" and don't think it would bother me if I did. My kid's come first, not someone else's ideas of propriety! (major soapbox for me!)

There is a woman at our church whose 12 year old son has down's syndrome and she brings him in the ladies room as well. (Her dh usually works Sundays so he isn't there) I've never given it a second thought but I'm sure there are some that feel a bit uncomfortable with that. Like Mickey said, there are stalls for privacy.

I think dh knows all of the restrooms from here to Timbucktoo and which ones have "appropriate" set up for him to take the girls in. He'll usually just go in to see that the coast is clear, then stand by the door and not let anyone in until dd is done. :) Lately though he's been able to send our 4yod to the ladies room with our 9yod and stand outside the door until they come out.

I've heard of mothers who will stand at the men's room door and ask someone coming out if the bathroom is empty. Once it's empty they let their son go in but guard the door and don't let anyone else in until they are finished. I don't have a problem with that either, LOL, but I'm sure some men would! :0D

[Rae]

I did pretty much the same as everyone here....took him in the ladies room til around age 7. I think he became uncomfortable at that age, probably due to school. By then, he was old enough to go in and out of the men's room on his own...with me right outside the door. We had been known to call back and forth, too, just an "are you alright" type thing. It lets people know you're there and keeping an eye out. I even had men come out and tell me he's fine etc. I know, this growing up business is tough on mom!

[Amy2]

I'm with all of you. I was thinking six or seven. Frankly, I can't imagine any woman this day and age giving "looks" about bringing a kid into the women's room! It's terrifying. Tristan has asked occasionally to go into the men's room, and I simply say no.
A year or two, maybe, depending on where we are.

And what's up with the stinky, filthy men's rooms? Are they waiting for their mother's to come clean them up? P.U.

Amy

[Jeff]

I still take the girls in the Men's room with me. It may be rude and self-centered, but I figure someone can deal with stagefright much easier than I or my child can deal with being violated or abducted.

[JAK]

I always take my ds with me. He's 5 1/2 and about the size of most 7-8 year olds (big kid). I've gotten looks in the past, but I don't care at least I know he's safe. I usually just make the kids go at home that way it's not an issue when we go somewhere, but I know that doesn't always work.

[kat]

I'm with everyone else. I always took my boys with me. I don't remember any looks, but it wouldn't have mattered. Youngest is really picky about going to any public restroom. He doesn't go at school even. He just waits til the end of the day and comes to my classroom.

[Ryleigh]

ds has always come with me into the ladies room. I've never really thought much about it, but then he is only five. I would be hesitant to send him into some of the mens rooms alone.

[RCT]

I always take ds into the ladies room with me...hey they have stalls with doors and I would never let them peek underneath another stall, if that is what other people would be concerned about....these are my most precious gifts and I won't let ds or dd go into a public restroom alone but am wondering when the age of that changes.....also here in NY they have lots of Family restrooms, facilities for the entire brood.....it even has a curtain for privacy in the room....love those....

[Meri D]

My son is almost four and goes in ladies room with me. My daughter who is almost 6 goes in the ladies room by her self if whe is with her daddy and I am not around but he stands outside the door and he has been known to stick his foot in the door so that the door doesnt close all the way and he can t least hear inside the restroom.
Don't mean to scare anyone but there was a lady who lived in a town close to me that was sitting in McDonalds with her 5yr old son and 3 yr old daughter. The little boy announced that he had to go potty and since they were sitting at the table right by the bathrooms she got up opened the door asked if anyone was in there, no response so she checked under the stalls and then let the little boy go in. A man walked in shortly behind the little boy a few minutes later the man walked out and then the little boy came out crying and holding his bottom his pants around his knees. The mother asked him what was wrong and he turned around and was bleeding from his rectum. The man had raped the little boy in the restroom in a matter of minutes. Luckily the resturant had cameras and one of them was pointing to that area of the dining room and they were able to get a picture of the guy and he was arrested.

Hope I didn't scare all of you into not letting your kids use public restrooms but felt you all should know the kind of wierdos we have out there.

[Amy2]

Sometimes I will let my 5yo ds go into the women's restroom alone, but never the mens. Amy

[Diane]

I have absolutely no problem with boy's being in the women's rest room UNLESS they stand where they can see through the crack and start peeking in at me. LOL I've had that happen on more than one occasion and I'm sure that none of the mom's had any idea that they were doing it. Another time I had a little guy, maybe 3 or 4 fall to the floor and look under the door of my stall to see if it was occupied. LOL Althuogh I really didn't appreciate it... I thought it was hilarious because his mom totally panicked and scooped him up real quick apologizing like crazy. Kids are pretty innocient and usually have no clue what they're doing... LOL Some people just have to be more understanding and if they give you a dirty look... ignore them. :)

Diane... :wave:

[RCT]

I had a woman once last year ask me why my ds was in there with me, I simply replied to her "would you leave your purse out in the hall?" "well, my children are my most precious gifts, so they are in here where they are safe, with me"...she polietly smiled but two other mothers were giggling as she walked away....oh well..

[Mickey]

I'm glad that no one has a problem with it because I don't intend to stop any time soon!

Good for you for not caring about causing anyone "stagefright", Jeff! (That word made me laugh!)

What a scary and tragic story, Meri! That's why I won't let ds go alone!

LOL! about peeking little boys, Diane! I would never allow ds to do that, but he has half-attempted to peek under the stall and I told him off immediately. :)

Renee, that was a great reply! Some people do seem to care for their things more than their kids! Glad you told her where you stand! Shut her cake hole right up, didn't it?! ;) LOL!

[Jeff]

Originally posted by Mickey


...Shut her cake hole right up, didn't it?! ;) LOL!

OK. I have to ask. Anyone know where this saying and pie hole came from? I am assuming it means mouth.

[Mickey]

Originally posted by Jeff


OK. I have to ask. Anyone know where this saying and pie hole came from? I am assuming it means mouth.

I first heard it in "So I Married and Axe Murderer" and dh (who is English) says it's a common phrase in Great Britain--"Shut your cake hole!" LOL! And yes, cake hole/pie hole means "mouth"!

[Diane]

I had to LMAO when I read Mickey's post... it was the first time I've ever heard of a mouth being referred to as a "cake hole". LOL Thought it was cute. :)

Diane... :wave:

[KarlaB]

Just today I had a little guy peeking in at me from under a stall. He was probably only 2 and didn't see anything, but I thought of this thread and had to laugh. :)