self-esteem

[lmcgahee]

My oldest child is now 11 and seems to be suffering from low self-esteems which i think is mostly due to entering those preteen years. We are very supportive of her and are trying to discover things she's good at and enjoys doing, but her overall attitude is fairly negative. She puts herself down often and will push us away at times when we try to be there for her.
Does anyone know of any good books that would be suitable for her and me to read in dealing with this problem.

[Mickey]

I don't know of any self-help type books for this, but I remember feeling that way and LOVING Judy Blume books--I would laugh and not feel so alone!

[JeannieOR]

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescant Girls.

For you, not her.

[sugarfrankie]

I have to agree with Mikey. Loved and still love Judy Blume!

[Cathy]

I know you asked for books, but I had another idea. Give her an opportunity to do something she should feel good about--helping a neighbor, teaching something to a younger child, tackling a challenging cleaning job or painting project. Point out to her when she's finished, that you are glad she used her gifts and talents in this way, and that she contributed. Real self-esteem comes from what you do and how you perceive your value as a member of society (family, neighborhood, church, etc.), not from what you feel or think. JMHO

[Diane]

Along with all of these other great idea's... every once in a while I'd make it a point to make sure that my kids would "accidently" hear me praising them to another family member (aunt, uncle... grandparent)when they didn't think I knew they were listening. I'd make it a point to say how talented I thought they were at doing a certain thing or praise their good attitude/behavior and always say how very proud I was of them. You can tell THEM all you want but then they think you're only telling them that to make them feel better, but when they hear you telling others... then they start believing you. (especially when they don't think you know they're hearing you) Good luck!

Diane... :wave:

[RCT]

Originally posted by Diane P.
Along with all of these other great idea's... every once in a while I'd make it a point to make sure that my kids would "accidently" hear me praising them to another family member (aunt, uncle... grandparent)when they didn't think I knew they were listening. I'd make it a point to say how talented I thought they were at doing a certain thing or praise their good attitude/behavior and always say how very proud I was of them. You can tell THEM all you want but then they think you're only telling them that to make them feel better, but when they hear you telling others... then they start believing you. (especially when they don't think you know they're hearing you) Good luck!

Diane... :wave:


Oh so thats what my mother did...LOL...


I agree to everyone here....sometimes having the child do something can actually build their selfasteem faster and more powerful than we can...but also having her hear you, and not know that your doing it for her....would be helpful too....