T-Ball and a almost 6 year old

[RCT]

well, ds has been to t-ball about 3 times....he likes the idea, but has already lost his glove, and hat....dh and I agreed that one of us would stay home with dd and one would take ds...well dh took ds on tues...and left the game early because ds was more interested in playing with the grass in the out field than paying attention to the coaches and other parents helping out...dh had had it, when ds asked to go pee one too many times....our problem is this, there are only three more weeks left, two times a week, and if we let him quit...which he really doesn't want to do....are we saying to him he can quit anything if its too hard or difficult for him? and if we make him stick with it and bite out tougues about his lack of attention payed to the people involved are hurting the other children who really came there to learn the game? please help...any advice welcome...dh and I are leaning toward having him finish this season, but that the next sporting event that comes along he will really need to be the one begging and pleading participate....

[AnnW]

How do the coaches handle it when he doesn't pay attention or wanders off the field to go to the bathroom? Do they expect you to handle that or or ya'll jumping in and handling it before they get a chance to? It is so normal for a child that age to act that way. I would step back, let the coaches handle the situation and let him know that he needs to honor his commitment.

[angie r]

This sounds just like my ds when he started soccer. Dh and I asked him to stay and watch his team even if he didn't want to play. He is getting ready to start his third season now and his favorite part of soccer........snacks after the game. :D

[Lynda/WA]

I think it's fairly common for kids to kick the grass and spin circles when in the outfield. DS did it. In fact he still let his attention wander in the outfield sometimes this last year at age 9. So did the other outfielders.

Does he need to go to the bathroom so much at home? We had one 10 yr old that went during the game every single game. I'd suggest a trip before the game and a reminder that if he needs to go more to time it for when his team is up to bat and he isn't about to bat. Or when he's sitting on the bench.

DS still goes through equipment. For him it isn't so much losing it. I can't count the number of times he didn't know where his hat was. Usually under the bed, or in the truck, once in his blankets, and once in the shed. He'd leave his glove laying where-ever he had been practising. Once the dog chewed it. We replaced his bat mid-season for a better size. By the end of the season it had a ding in it and will need to be replaced. Either he or one of the other boys (half the team used his bat) hit it up against something hard. Those bats aren't cheap! Usually when we leave I ask if he has his glove, hat, and bat. He's got a bag so usually it's all packed away. All of the coaches we have pick up anything left and bring it next game/practice. Not unusual for the kids to forget things.

He sounds like he's just doing typical 6 yr old stuff. As a parent of a similar boy I know how frustrating it is. Try not to let some of it get to you. It's normal.

If he quits how will that impact the team? We had 11 kids but because 1 frequently missed the games we could only afford to miss one more for any other reason. I'd suggest a talk with the coach.

DS recently started martial arts. We told him that if he signed up he needed to finish the time period paid for. After that it's his decision if he wants to quit. He's loves it but if he hadn't we would have made him finish his commitment and no-one else is even relying on him.

[kathleen]

When my son started soccer at age 5 a lot of the boys would run off the field, play in the dirt, stare at airplanes flying overhead, etc. When my son would come ask me if he could do something, I would tell him that he had to ask his coach's permission right now because we were at practice/game/whatever. Please rest assured that this is very normal for a 5/6 year old. The coach did a great job with the kids -- didn't always keep them on the field, but tried.

At that age group, there is no official scorekeeping (though the kids do keep score themselves). The whole thing is fun to watch.

My opinion only, but I would say what is important at this age is getting them familiar with practice/games, good sportsmanship, things like that.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[RCT]

well, the main problem is what AnnW stated...the coaches seem to think the it isn't a problem and if a problem should arise they expect the parent to interveen I believe since there are only so many coaches and so many children (55) last count.....I know I shouldn't complain but we did pay for this activity and I hate being the bad guy...so does dh....you know the old saying that "the children are angels when the parents aren't around" well thats what I believe is happening with ds....he sees dh and I and falls into his home role....needy...LOL...:lol: we are going tonight, or should I say dh and ds are going as we speak....hope things go ok for them.....dh gets so discouraged that his ds is the only one screwing around.....I think its a 5 year old boy thing, as I have seen other children staring off into space...thanks again for your support and encourement...

[AnnW]

Renee..if the coaches are not troubled by it, then don't worry about it. If your ds comes up to you and needs something, send him to the coach to handle..say "sweetie...you need to ask the coach that" and stand firm. My dd will try that during soccer, but I just say "your team needs you" or "ask your coach". I can't tell you over the years how many soccer balls, shin guards, gloves we have misplaced or lost. DS is FINALLY good about keeping up with his stuff! LOL Does your ds have a sports bag to keep his stuff in?
Like alot of the others have said, this is so totally normal behaviour, but you've got to step back and just let him do it. I don't mean to be mean, but it sounds like you are embarrassed by his behaviour and are putting a great deal of pressure on yourselves on the assumption of how he should act and how he should participate. I can guarrantee that you are not the only parent out there thinking "my kid is not paying attention, what will the other parents think"
Relax...and just let the coaches take care of things.

[MaryL]

Yep.....same story, different family! LOL

Our boys (both!) have done this. In our 7yr olds first year in t-ball, he did a lot of "grass investigation". Drove us crazy!!! But he played again this year, and LOVED it....actually practices in our own backyard alot. A real turnaround. Our youngest ds (5) had his first try at "pee wee soccer" this spring. Ugh...he enjoyed it, but didn't like the running parts! Ha ha. We did what Ann suggested, told him that his team needed him, and that if he wasn't going to play, he should at least watch and cheer them on. His favorite part is also the snack at the end of the game. We always made him stick by his coaches, during warm ups, etc, and we never had a potty problem (thank goodness), but we do have him go right before we leave the house.

I think it all sounds pretty normal to me, and I'm new to this too. Next year our oldest ds can't wait to play baseball, and the 5 year old says that he wants to try t-ball. We did sign him up for soccer again, (for this fall...September), and hope that he'll be a little more "into" it. I think it all eventually "clicks" for them, and they become sports fanatics!!!!!!!!

[RCT]

dh went with ds son last night, and was asked to help out, also ds was placed with another group of kids, (there are so many that they have four teams....) dh was surprised at how well ds did while he (dh) was out there in the drenches...LOL....dh said he had a great time, with all the kids as was asked back, ds on the other hand had a great time too, played well, caught two outs, and hit a ball right into left field...LOL.....so glad that it wasn't just me and AnnW your totally right about us being embarrassed.....felt like all the other children were perfect and mine was flawed....shame on me and dh......we did pick up a sports bag this a.m. at walmart and the coach said he could get us another cap....so I feel better about this whole experience....thanks again for letting me vent....