at-home-mom
08-02-2001, 09:56 PM
From talking to many other new moms, it seems there are a VERY LARGE NUMBER of woman who experience some sort of post-partum depression after they have a baby. Much more common than expected. You always hear that is lasts for about six months, but that's not true from my experience and the woman that I have talked to. It's common for women to feel depressed, tired, and stressed out well beyond that six-month period, possibly a year or more. So if you are experiencing this, you are probably more in the majority, NOT the minority.
Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about this, because I guarantee you won't be the first to bring this up to him, and you won't be the last. A lot of women don't want to bring it up because they see it as some sort of weakness, like they aren't good mothers, or like they are the only ones feeling like this and it's just a personal weakness. This is absolutely untrue, of course, but the feelings are all too real.
You could also have a medical condition that's causing your symptoms too, so you should talk to your doctor about it. I started having thyroid problems during my pregnancy and I wrote it off as the pregnancy itself. I was really tired, but had terrible insomnia, and very sensitive. These are common symptoms of thyroid problems, so you can see why I would think it was just the pregnancy. The thyroid problem wasn't the total reason for my depression though, it just made it a little worse.
I was very depressed, exhausted, and stressed after my son was born. My husband worked a lot of hours and just didn't have time to help me except for the first week after I had a c-section. That was it. I managed to get myself up every morning and adjust my attitude so I could be smiling and happy around my son all day...not easy when you'd like to stay in bed and cry 'til you fall asleep, but I did it for my son, knowing it was just temporary and eventually, I would get the rest that I desperately needed.
I finally decided that I needed JUST ONE HOUR to myself during the day....Just ONE hour, when I was NOT too tired to do what I enjoyed and to refresh myself. I tried doing this in the morning or at night, but it just didn't work. It took me enough time to wake up in the morning, and I was way too tired in the evening to concentrate on anything. I had to find an hour during the day when I could enjoy it. Taking that one hour for myself has made a huge difference in how I feel daily. Now my son wanted to spend every waking moment in my arms and cried all the time when I put him down. I managed to clean the whole house with him in one arm. My son DID NOT LIKE being in his playpen. He's NOT a baby that you can just put in a playpen for a few hours. He wouldn't stay in there for even a few seconds, so here's what I did...
I started putting him in there at the exact same time every day. I'd let him scream while I got out a book to read and sat down to read it. I let him watch me do this while he cried (hated to let him cry though), say for maybe 30 seconds, put my book back, (yep, he was still crying), and then picked him up, wiped the tears away, and kissed, cuddled and played with him. I did the exact same thing the next day at the same time, but sat down for just a little longer. Eventually, he settled down in the playpen, knowing it was time for me to sit and read, and that I'd be playing with him as soon as I was done. He also learned to play by himself for a little while, which is good for him.
You have to be persistent with this. Don't feel guilty for needing some time to yourself, or for letting the little one cry it out for just a bit. He's okay, he's just hooked on you:) Before you put him in, just make sure he's clean, dry, and fed, that way you know he's only crying because of Mommy withdrawals. Don't let him cry for more than a few minutes either.
Whatever you do during that time, you can be talking to him and entertaining him too...If you're reading a book, read it out-loud. It doesn't have to be a kids book. I'm reading a Joyce Meyer book and he likes it just fine. I sit on the floor or in a chair real close to his playpen and he loves it. Make faces and make it fun. I also paint and he watches me paint, I can talk, sing, and make faces at him while I take an hour to do something that I enjoy and that leaves me feeling like I got to do something for myself that day.
So take JUST ONE HOUR FOR YOURSELF! Pick up an old hobby you thought you didn't have time for, or start a new one. You can read, exercise, join a chat group online, find a business you can work from home, give your friends a call and talk for an hour, draw, paint, whatever you want to do to make yourself feel better, and that way, you have something to give back to your child and aren't running on empty.
I still have my down times, but not much anymore. That hour refreshes me, puts me in a good mood, and gives me more energy to spend on my son, so he gets the benefits too.
You can even split the hour up and take a half-hour in the afternoon and a half-hour in the evening if that's better for you.
I really hope this helps any Moms who may experience, or be experiencing post-partum depression:)
Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about this, because I guarantee you won't be the first to bring this up to him, and you won't be the last. A lot of women don't want to bring it up because they see it as some sort of weakness, like they aren't good mothers, or like they are the only ones feeling like this and it's just a personal weakness. This is absolutely untrue, of course, but the feelings are all too real.
You could also have a medical condition that's causing your symptoms too, so you should talk to your doctor about it. I started having thyroid problems during my pregnancy and I wrote it off as the pregnancy itself. I was really tired, but had terrible insomnia, and very sensitive. These are common symptoms of thyroid problems, so you can see why I would think it was just the pregnancy. The thyroid problem wasn't the total reason for my depression though, it just made it a little worse.
I was very depressed, exhausted, and stressed after my son was born. My husband worked a lot of hours and just didn't have time to help me except for the first week after I had a c-section. That was it. I managed to get myself up every morning and adjust my attitude so I could be smiling and happy around my son all day...not easy when you'd like to stay in bed and cry 'til you fall asleep, but I did it for my son, knowing it was just temporary and eventually, I would get the rest that I desperately needed.
I finally decided that I needed JUST ONE HOUR to myself during the day....Just ONE hour, when I was NOT too tired to do what I enjoyed and to refresh myself. I tried doing this in the morning or at night, but it just didn't work. It took me enough time to wake up in the morning, and I was way too tired in the evening to concentrate on anything. I had to find an hour during the day when I could enjoy it. Taking that one hour for myself has made a huge difference in how I feel daily. Now my son wanted to spend every waking moment in my arms and cried all the time when I put him down. I managed to clean the whole house with him in one arm. My son DID NOT LIKE being in his playpen. He's NOT a baby that you can just put in a playpen for a few hours. He wouldn't stay in there for even a few seconds, so here's what I did...
I started putting him in there at the exact same time every day. I'd let him scream while I got out a book to read and sat down to read it. I let him watch me do this while he cried (hated to let him cry though), say for maybe 30 seconds, put my book back, (yep, he was still crying), and then picked him up, wiped the tears away, and kissed, cuddled and played with him. I did the exact same thing the next day at the same time, but sat down for just a little longer. Eventually, he settled down in the playpen, knowing it was time for me to sit and read, and that I'd be playing with him as soon as I was done. He also learned to play by himself for a little while, which is good for him.
You have to be persistent with this. Don't feel guilty for needing some time to yourself, or for letting the little one cry it out for just a bit. He's okay, he's just hooked on you:) Before you put him in, just make sure he's clean, dry, and fed, that way you know he's only crying because of Mommy withdrawals. Don't let him cry for more than a few minutes either.
Whatever you do during that time, you can be talking to him and entertaining him too...If you're reading a book, read it out-loud. It doesn't have to be a kids book. I'm reading a Joyce Meyer book and he likes it just fine. I sit on the floor or in a chair real close to his playpen and he loves it. Make faces and make it fun. I also paint and he watches me paint, I can talk, sing, and make faces at him while I take an hour to do something that I enjoy and that leaves me feeling like I got to do something for myself that day.
So take JUST ONE HOUR FOR YOURSELF! Pick up an old hobby you thought you didn't have time for, or start a new one. You can read, exercise, join a chat group online, find a business you can work from home, give your friends a call and talk for an hour, draw, paint, whatever you want to do to make yourself feel better, and that way, you have something to give back to your child and aren't running on empty.
I still have my down times, but not much anymore. That hour refreshes me, puts me in a good mood, and gives me more energy to spend on my son, so he gets the benefits too.
You can even split the hour up and take a half-hour in the afternoon and a half-hour in the evening if that's better for you.
I really hope this helps any Moms who may experience, or be experiencing post-partum depression:)