What Am I Going To Do????????

[jwmcdaniel]

Ok, I need help.

DD starts kindergarten in less than an month....and I'm not doing very well with it.

She's totally ready, but I just can't imagine my day without her cute little face popping up around here all day. I'm getting so sad and feeling clingy to her and told dh over the weekend, that I just CAN'T let my baby go to school!

These 5 years have gone by so fast! I just can't believe it's time to let her spread her wings without me! I guess maybe that's part of my problem, she's going to do things without me and not under my control (supervision, as I like to call it) :)
Some days it seems like drudgery - but the good days are like gold to me and I just can't believe 5 years has gone by so quickly.

We're easing into our 'new schedule' this week, by getting up getting dressed and no TV until everything else is done, and then we are taking the short walk up to the school everyday.

I'm just a mess when I think about it and of course, I won't let her see that.

I've got plenty to 'do' while she's not here, like all the house stuff plus a part time job and I'm planning on volunteering @ school as much as I can, so I know I'll get used to the time she's not here, but I need help with the start of the school year. I just imagine that little thing walking around school and no one watching her like I'm used too --- I know she's not going to be turned loose totally, but you know what I mean; there's a huge difference in having 14 preK students and 32 kindergarteners in a class!

OK, I'm rambling and you're probably getting bored reading this (if you've lasted this far!) :) But, I just needed to get that out.....
maybe I wouldn't feel so empty/melancholy if she weren't our only child. (But, THAT is a whole other posting in itself!!!) ;)

- Jennifer

[angie r]

Oh Jennifer! I am sorry you are sad :bigcry: I don't have any advice as I am nearing my little darling going off to school to. I do have a younger child who I am thrilled to be able to have some one on one time with.

Vent away....we are listening!

[kacee]

Jennifer,
You are not alone. I was in your shoes just 2 years ago. Now my baby is going to be in 2nd grade this year. She is still our only (that's another post also!!)
Some of the things that I did/do to help ease the first day are plan something to do immediately after you drop you dd off. I did take photos the first day. And put alot of trust in her teacher and in my dd. And left with a hug and kiss. I didn't think I would cry had prepared myself for weeks. But I did, in the car afterwards. Then I hit my plan. I didn't have other friends to share with so I went shopping. Walmart was so free this day!! I know some moms who had a brunch. (What day does your dd start school?? Make a date with IB Chat?) It will be a hard day for you, but your little one will do fine. I purchased a special necklace for my dd and told her that I would be thinking of her. (This year I am going to get one for me!! Yeap, still hard! - Her being an only child!!) You can believe that I was the first one in car pool that day!! The suceeding days will get easier. Please know that you are not alone here. Your ideas to volunteer are great. Even if it is not in your dd's room. I liked staying close to the school. Last year, I had a part time job at her school. I pray that I will get again this year. It was a perfect solution to mommy blahhhhs.


OH how many mommies are in your shoes this year!! It is so great that you love your child. She will be just fine!! Be brave in front of her and be positive about school.

Oh the time you will have when she gets home!! She will have stories to tell and things to share. Be ready to listen!! And my dd loves a snack. Have you planned one for the first day? I had a friend how baked her dd one of those school bus cakes for her first day.

So, what are you planning for her snack??

I will be right there along with you. The mommy blahhhhhs!! :bigcry: In the afternoon become :* I often wonder if I can love my dd too much!!

[KarlaB]

I feel for you. One of my ds's will start kindergarten next year and I already worry about how I will handle it. :bawling: In fact as I read your post a lot reminded me of ME! LOL! Good luck and be sure to lean on all of us!!

[Ryleigh]

The first day is always the hardest. I had a very difficult time on dd first day even with ds home with me.
We took lots of photos. Lots of hugs. I too gave her a special necklace to wear. One of those break apart lockets that say Mom on one side and Daughter on the other. I put photos of us inside them. Then we each had one to wear.
What made the day harder, when dd started school, Kindergarten was full day. When ds started JK last year it was 1/2 day everyday.

Not sure what it will be here. We better go get them registered. Forgot about that ~ oops!

When the time comes, there may be a few tears but you'll get through it. Just drop her off, come home and pour yuor heart out to us, We'll be here for you.

[AnnW]

It will be ok! Keep reminding yourself that she is supposed to be spreading her wings..that if she does that well, that means you are doing a great job as a mom! Do something special for yourself that day..make an appointment for a manicure or massage. Pamper yourself and reward yourself for raising your child and getting her to this step of independence!!!

My oldest is going to middle school this year..talk about feeling like you are losing control!!!!!!!!!! LOL :\

[Fern]

you are going thru what I think every mom goes thru, even when it's not your only child, it's very hard to let that first one go off on their own and even harder when your last one heads off, my dd and I were unseperable for those first 5 years, but we both got thru it and it's so exciting when they come home with all their stories, you have so much to look forward too.
As for me this year is hard because my ds is going into grade 12 and next spring will be leaving home, talk about needing a shoulder to cry on then!!!

[jwmcdaniel]

I just wanted to say a great big THANK YOU to ya'll for your supportive posts. I feel like I got a great big hug!!
I got so choked up reading them, I thought I was going to cry all over the 'puter! :D
I'll be checking in sometime that day to see how everyone else is and let ya'll know I didn't have a total breakdown (I'm trying to be optimistic!) :)
Luckily, I'll be going to my p.t. job that morning and it's very very low key, so I'll cry on my boss' shoulder or collapse on her floor or something..... :biglaugh:
Thanks again everyone; feels like I've made new friends here.......

P.S. Loved the necklace idea.... maybe I'll add a charm of some kind to her charm bracelet or something.

[Mickey]

Well, I guess I'm not doing a good job as a mom because ds didn't do the school scene well at all.

My heart aches for you, Jennifer. It is hard to let go. I'd be doing it this year, too, if I hadn't decided to homeschool.

Is Rachel going to half-day kindergarten or full day? Here, in public school, it's only 2 1/2 hours. Private kindergartens are usually 9-3.

Sorry I don't have any suggestions for making it easier! :(

[jwmcdaniel]

Kindergarten is full day - I think it's rare to find any half day kindergartens around here.
She's been going to preschool for the last 3 years and each year, the days and the hours are extended, so maybe the schedule won't come as SUCH a shock to her.

[AnnW]

Originally posted by jwmcdaniel
She's been going to preschool for the last 3 years and each year, the days and the hours are extended, so maybe the schedule won't come as SUCH a shock to her.

That's how my kids did it too, and it really helped to make the transition easier.

[Mickey]

I hope she settles in ok, Jennifer!

[Ryleigh]

Originally posted by Mickey
Well, I guess I'm not doing a good job as a mom because ds didn't do the school scene well at all.

:(


Don't be so hard on yourself Mickey, we know you are a great Mom. Not all kids handle the school scene as well as others. I've just been lucky.

[Linda/NE]

Beginning school is always a big moment for kids. With all of mine, they were 'big' kids and didn't want Mom to accompany them to their room after the first day.

I think the whole school thing is definitely harder on the mom than the kids. I have found though (well we'll see how this fall goes) that with each kid that starts it gets easier to let go. Although I think my youngest will be the hardest one for me. He's my boy! :)

Good Luck!!

[Mickey]

Originally posted by Ryleigh



Don't be so hard on yourself Mickey, we know you are a great Mom. Not all kids handle the school scene as well as others. I've just been lucky.

Thank you, Ryleigh! And you're right--can't judge a mom by that because all kids are different! :)

[RCT]

ok, I felt this way when ds started Kindergarden with out even having gone to Pre anything....I am anxious and excited when I think about dd leaving me this fall for 5 1/2 days of pre-kindergarden but I remember all too well what it was like sending ds off that first day....it will be ok....dd is so excited about riding the bus with her brother that it makes me get all choked up thinking about it....your going to do great....

[kat]

To all you mom's out there with little ones starting Kdg. get the book The Kissing Hand I wish I could remember the author right now, but I'm drawing a blank. It's about a little racoon and his first "night" at school. It's too precious. I usually read it to my kids the first day of school and we do a little art project with it.

[KarlaB]

Originally posted by kat
To all you mom's out there with little ones starting Kdg. get the book The Kissing Hand I wish I could remember the author right now, but I'm drawing a blank. It's about a little racoon and his first "night" at school. It's too precious. I usually read it to my kids the first day of school and we do a little art project with it.

Great suggestion, kat! :thumb: We just got that book for ds this summer and LOVE it!!! I can't think of the author either and I haven't finished unpacking dks books (at least 4 boxes full!), so I can't help with the author right now either.

[MaryL]

Originally posted by kat
To all you mom's out there with little ones starting Kdg. get the book The Kissing Hand I wish I could remember the author right now, but I'm drawing a blank. It's about a little racoon and his first "night" at school. It's too precious. I usually read it to my kids the first day of school and we do a little art project with it.

I read the same book to my Kindergartners on the first day of school...it's a wonderful book. There is also a book called Tom Goes to Kindergarten (I think!!! Hope???) that talks about kids leaving their parents, and parents leaving their kids. It's adorable. Now...I know this is going to seem wierd, but I work in a school, and will be the Kindergarten teacher for my own ds this year, and I still have the feelings that you do. LOL Even though he will be in my classroom, I still feel the "tugging" of his growing up..."my baby"! My older ds is going into the 2nd grade, down the hall from my classrooms. I get a huge "lump" in my throat the first days as I see my kids getting ready for school...and we're going to the same place! LOL I think it has less to do with starting "kindergarten", and is does with the "growing up". My ds calls me "mom" at school, and the children in the class respect that we have a different relationship, but my ds (when I had him two years ago) never abused the relationship. We get out of the van in the morning at school, and we do the "school dance"...kind of a "hugging thing". After that, he goes onto the playground to wait with the rest of the children, and I go to my classroom. We always tease that when the van doors open, I become a teacher, and he becomes a student. Hope it works as well with my other ds...he's a bit clingier to me.