Discipline

[Leigh]

I am just wondering out of curiosity, what type of discipline do your centers or the centers that your children go to use? At the center where I work, we really do not have any except redirection. The kids have figured out that there is not really anything that we can do and they getting out of control. I am not saying that I want to spank anyone else's child, but maybe having time out would be nice and helpful.

[KarlaB]

Ds has told me that if other kids kick or push each other - like during their gym time - that the child who gets in trouble has to have a time out on a stool in there. Another time when all of the kids were talking at the same time they "got in trouble" and had to have a "quiet snack time". (There may be more to this story. I can't see his teacher just all of a sudden making them have quiet snack time without having given them several warnings.) I am not there and just go by what he tells me (he is 3 1/2), but I am sure they had warnings and as a parent I feel like these are acceptable methods of discipline in this setting. Do other teachers agree with you about needing more options and do you think parents would be okay with it? Like would you have to inform them before you started trying other things? I guess I never really asked what the policies were at ds's school - just trusted that they would be appropriate. Good Luck!

[Mickey]

At my son's school (Montessori), they don't have time-out, but htey have a "peace table" where they suggest the child goes to relax. There's a little bonsai tree surrounded by sand and a little rake there. If things get out of hand, there's also a "peace room" where there's a water fountain and relaxing music with comfortable chairs and they go there to calm down. It sounds like it wouldn't work, but it works very well in conjunction with other Montessori concepts.

[Leigh]

KarlaB:
Yeah the other teachers do agree that something more is needed, and I think that most of the parents would be okay with some sort of timeout as long as we didn't touch their children, which I couldn't or wouldn't. The only problem is it is against our center's policy. I am not sure why, and no one can really give me a straight answer when I ask. I wonder if it has been that way for so long they are just afraid to change it or they don't want to take the time to give me the explanation. If a child is really acting up, we are told to talk to his parents when they pick him or her up, but this could be 10 or 11 hours later. By then the child does not remember what he has done. We are just told to keep reminding them that it is not nice or that it hurts when they hit. They are not stupid. They know that it hurts when they hit, that is why they did it.

Mickey:
I might use this suggestion. I don't know if we could have a peace room, but I bet I might could talk them into a peace corner or something.I am the point where I will try most anything.


Thanks Guys!!!!!:)

[Diane]

I'm not a center but an at home provider. I usually use redirection or time outs. Taking away privileges usually works well... if they've pushed, hit, pinched... making them apologize. Sitting quietly at a table with their heads down... "thinking time". After the punishment we ALWAYS sit together and talk about WHAT they did and WHY they were being punished... I'm very firm... and they know exactly what my expectations are. My kids hate not being able to play and be in with the rest of the group... so time outs usually work out the best for me. They also know that when their parents come, they have to tell them what they did and mom and day may or may not decide to punish them when they get home. Kids NEED some form of punishment besides a... "be nice to so and so..." because when you have a large group of kids that just DOESN'T work. They need consequences! JMHO :)

[KarlaB]

ITA with Diane - a large group of kids does need some type of discipline policy other than just redirecting them and telling them to be nice. And, talking to their parents 10 or 11 hours after the incident seems pointless because many kids may have forgotten it or that many hours later it may not seem like a big deal anymore. I think it should be dealt with when it happens. I guess I can see where your center doesn't want to do time outs if some parents for whatever reason won't even do them at home. Maybe try the peace corner like Mickey mentioned - it seems like it could almost work like a time out without actually being called that. Good luck!!

[kat]

Originally posted by KarlaB
(There may be more to this story. I can't see his teacher just all of a sudden making them have quiet snack time without having given them several warnings.)

Trust me, there's alway's more to the story. Even the most well behaved child, who on occasion misbehaves, will portray him/her self in the best possible light, or leave out part of the story.

[kat]

Originally posted by Mickey
At my son's school (Montessori), ... htey have a "peace table" where they suggest the child goes to relax.

I love that idea over time out. In a "time out" it seems like they just stew or pout. At a "peace table or isolated corner" they could reflect on their behavior as well as do something soothing. I've used sand and/or rice before with an autistic child and it was very calming to let him play in it. Also when I use a time out the child is in control of when he/she returns to the group if it is a first offense. The 2nd trip to time out is timed by me (5 or 10 minutes). But let's face it, if redirection and time outs don't work, your need to find something that does. We are not helping these kids if we don't teach them that there real consquences for their behaviors.

[Leigh]

Thank you so much guys for all of your support. I am going to check on the peace corner when I return to work on Mon. I will make sure to let you know what happens, and thanks again for all of your support. It is nice to be able to get support from people that understand what I am going through. Ya'll are truly angels in disguise.

[Leigh]

Peace table or corner did not go over to well. Back to square one. Oh well I am leaving in 2 months, so I guess it will be the next teacher's problem. I hate to sound like that. I know it sounds awful, but I feel like I am banging my head against a wall. Nothing is good enough for our tac.(training and curriculum specialist). She gets to leave the room when it gets bad so she doesn't care, but I want to thank everyone for all of the support that they gave. It really is helpful to have a place to come and vent. Thanks again guys.

[KarlaB]

Sorry the idea didn't go over. :( It's sometimes difficult not to form a negative attitude when people aren't open to suggestions and aren't doing anything themselves to find a solution. What are you doing after you quit this center in two months?

[Diane]

I'm sorry to hear that nothing worked. That's the one reason why I like working by myself... it's totally up to ME what form of dicipline to use. (within reason of course) :) I've got GREAT parents who back me up and support whatever I decide to do... and that really helps. Hope everything turns out okay.

[Renee]

I am new to this site, so I hope I do this right. I teach at a Christian Preschool. We use several techniques in our class to handle disruptive behavior. We have written expectations regarding behavior given to parents during our open house. No hitting, biting, or throwing of objects at all. No warnings. We start with physical presence at their level and discussion. Next time, we "pull a flower." Each child has three that can be pulled in one day. Each week we have a behavior strip with smilies or comments. These include staying on task and participation as well as discipline. We do use time-out with dialogue. A child can have one "bad day" per week forgiven. At the beginning of the year, parents send in small treats - old happy meal toys, candy, etc. that we put in a treasure box. On Fridays, after show-n-tell they pick from the treat box if they didn't have flowers pulled. And believe me, they don't like it when they can't choose from the treasure box. Hope this helps, if not in this job, then the next.

[Leigh]

KarlaB
After I quit, I hope to finish getting my BS in elementary education and then find a job teaching. I am hoping that I can work at another daycare center until I finish school. I really do like working with kids. Thank you for your kind words.
DianeP
Thanks for your kind words too. I have also thought about doing home care, but right now, our house is too small. Maybe when we move, we'll have a bigger house. Thanks again.
Renee
Yeah you are doing this right. thank you also for your advise. I know that idea would not go over where I work now, but maybe I can take it to my next job.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!:)