Parenting Advice Please

[KathyT]

This morning our oldest dd started basketball camp, mornings only, for the week.

This was something dh and I thought she would enjoy, as she is a great little soccer player and a few of her friends play basketball. She was apprehensive, but we kind of encouraged her and she agreed to be registered way back in May.

Flash forward to this morning: she was very nervous, was worried she wouldn't know anyone, etc. She has never ever played basketball but the head coach assured me when I registered her that the skill level was irrelevant and that she would learn from the ground up.

So she finally spots a girl from her school, gives me a weak smile and a very tight hug, and off she goes.

I arrive to pick her up and one look at her face and I know she has had a tough time.

We get out into the parking lot and she bursts into tears. She said she was the only one who had never played, it was too rough for her (she has a wicked knee burn), she spoke up and said she didn't understand and her "leader" said that she would catch on.

Dd is not a go with the flow kind of kid, so she was stressed out all morning.

She does NOT want to go back. I asked her to wait til she calmed down before making that decision, and suggested that she give it one more go, but she said she was miserable and didn't feel comfortable there and really didn't want to return. She said there was a lot of yelling and shoving and confusion, none of which sits well with dd.

She is a deep thinker and certainly knows her own mind, but I hate to see her not resolve this bad experience.

Since dh and I encouraged her and she did not ask to be registered in this camp, I am not going to make her go back. If she had asked to go, I would insist that she see it through. She is old enough to know what she wants to do. Dh thinks that is fine. I am wondering if we should insist that she go at least tomorrow and give it a second shot.

My gut is saying no, she was so miserable and sad it broke my heart :( But sometimes I wonder if I am too soft with her.

Sorry this has turned into a book, I am just looking for some objective opinions .?(

[darlene]

Hi Kathy. What if you went with her tomorrow morning and stayed and watched...is that allowed? Might make her feel better.
But if she is totally against going back, then I think it's probably best that she doesn't.

:)

[Mickey]

I vote no--don't make her go back. It sounds like it was something she wasn't thrilled about in the first place, but was a trooper and went this morning to give it a try. Given the kind of kid she is, I wouldn't push her.

[kacee]

This is a tough one. It is hard for our little ones. If you feel comfortable that it is not just first time jitters and your DD is going to eventually feel comfortable then I say no. It is hard to tell. Good luck!

[AnnW]

I am usually of the school of "you stick it out" but it doesn't really sound like she really wanted to do this in the beginning and like Mick said was being a good sport. You know she is capable of sticking things out (ie soccer) and doesn't have a tendancy to quit so I would be inclined to believe her and let her drop out.
Let us know what you decide.

[angie r]

Iwouldn't make her go back either. You can probably get at least a partial refund at this point too. Don't be too shy to ask for one.

[KarlaB]

I wouldn't make her go back either. Sorry she had a rough time!

[Diane]

I wouldn't make her go back either... she gave it a go and it didn't work so, I'd just forget about it. I'm sorry that it made her feel so bad, but what a trooper she was for trying. :)

Diane... :wave:

[KathyT]

I appreciate all the responses. The problem kind of worked itself out but prior to that we had decided with dd that she didn't have to go back. She was very relieved.

Once we had made the decision, she had a little accident. The girls were happily playing side by side
when dd#2 moved her chair and put one of the legs on dd#1's 2
smaller toes. She kneeled down on her chair with great force and was
chattering away not realizing dd#1 was hyperventilating with the pain!!!!!!
Her toes are purple and swollen!!!!!!!!! So that finalized things.

This morning she is hobbling around poor baby :\ .

Thanks again for your insight.

[KarlaB]

Glad everything got worked out! Ouch - poor little dd's toes! :\ Hope they're better soon!!

[Ryleigh]

Oh, her poor little toes. Poor kid. Hope she is feeling better soon.