This is worrying me..

[kacee]

I know that DD is running on exhaustion. But today has been horrible. I asked her to put her clothes away (twice) and she hide them behind her bed. Then is disrespected about another conflict to another adult. I know this is very normal, but what worries me is that she puts herself down (says, I am ugly, I want to die -etc. ) I try to explain that she made a mistake and didn't follow directions, but she is still beautiful. I don't want her to die. I know that she is trying to manipulate me. But this line of her thinking bothers me.

Please tell me this is a stage. It is starting to worry me.

Help!!!

[Jeff]

how old?

[kacee]

Howdy Jeff,
She is 7 yrs about to be 8. I just went to check on her. Now it is "You don't like me. You hate me" This is not my night. I tried to explain that I didn't like her actions, but I love her very much. That I had to punish her (took her hamster to the spare bedroom - for disobeying). Now she says that she will not talk to me.

She is trying to manipulate me so hard. I am too tired to deal with this tonight.

Thanks for letting me come here. Dh is gone will be back later. I hope for her to sleep soon, but with positive thoughts.

AUUUUHHHHGGGGGGG!!

[Cathy]

kacee, My middle dd was in 7th grade before she could make the back-to-school transition without driving me crazy. She always got so emotional and downright mean while she made the adjustment. So I'm not sure it was a stage--more of a way to deal with her stress and emotions. It's not fun, but I hope yours smooths out (as mine always did) after a couple of weeks, when she accepts that she is able and competent. Good luck, and don't take it personally.

[Amy2]

This is so hard. It is such a trigger when they do the "I wish I was dead" thing. Our greatest fear. I think it's important to be aware (as it sounds like you are) in case at some point she is actually serious with that kind of comment, but to do our best to simply NOT buy into it. Which when we're tired, is so challenging. Hang in there, dear!
Amy

[Mickey]

Ds is 5 and he's into saying, "You're trying to kill me!" when I tell him "no!". He occasionally says, "I think you want me to die!", too. And when I ask him why he did something wrong, he'll say, "Because I'm stupid and a bad boy!", both things we NEVER say to him, but he has heard around other children and he knows it's wrong to say and that he'll get a rise out of me. I think it's a desire to get a reaction and to try to get you to say, "Oh, honey! That's not true..." etc.

I just tell him, "I am not trying to kill you and you are not stupid or bad, you did something wrong and you need to take responsibility for it, apologize and never do it again (or clean it up)."

[AnnW]

Oh Kacee..she is working you good!!! LOL What better way to deflect that fact that she didn't listen than by pushing your mommy buttons! My dd does this too, except hers is UNDER the bed. I will ask her to clean her room, a few minutes later she will come out "all clean, mom" and I say "under the bed too?" and she huffs and turns back! LOL She used to try all that "I am just no good" stuff with me too. I would simply say, "I am sorry that you think you are ugly or want to die, but you still have to clean up your room" and then walk out. Later on when we weren't in the heat of the room cleaning issue (usually during bedtime prayers) I would hug her and tell her how I think she is pretty inside and out and that I am so glad that she is alive. It helped to separate the issues. Good luck..don't let her play you!!!!!

[kacee]

Thanks for the support. She did work hard last night. I know that I am raising a politician. Blames everything else, doesn't accept responsiblity, and manupilates to her advantage. LOL

Sorry poor joke there are some good politicians out there!!


I finally gave her tynelol at 10:00. She is just exhausted and working too hard. This morning was like nothing happened.
(Hamster is still out of her room though!!)

I shall see what happens when she brings this up again.

Thanks everybody!!