Ds not wanting to go to pre-school

[Amy]

I figured I would go straight to the head honchos here (you guys LOL) about my 3.4 year old ds. He started a 4 day a week pre-school 2 weeks ago. The first couple of weeks he loved going. Since this past Monday, as soon as we get into the parking lot he starts crying and doesn't want to get out of the car. He cries as we kiss him goodbye and the teachers tell me he settles down within minutes after I leave. Can someone explain to me why he would start this up 3 weeks into the program? Is it a sign that maybe it isn't the right match between program and child or is it more do with him trying to be manipulative?

[beth c]

Hi Amy!! So glad to see you posting. I have been wondering what was happening w/your dh w/all the military alerts. I haven't been online for a couple of days so I don't have clue what is happening in this neck of the woods!!
As for your ds-I haven't really had this experience so I may not be much help. I don't think it suggests that he isn't happy at preschool if he calms down fairly quickly after you leave. Has all the terrorist stuff disrupted him enough that he doesn't want to be separated from you? just an idea. I am sure someone here will be able to give you good advice. Hang in there babe!!

[RCT]

Originally posted by Amy/CO
the teachers tell me he settles down within minutes after I leave. You state that this started this week, I too am wondering if it has something to do with all the Tragedies happening....somehow they sense it, even while us the parents are trying so hard to soften it and selter them....has your dh been home or away? just somethings to consider....I quoted you because that is what really counts that he is settling down and hopefully having a great time while he is there.....hope you get more input than me...dd is really enjoying Pre-K...so far...?(

[kat]

It could also be that for a while it was "fun", but now he realizes he has to go all the time. I see this happen in Kdg. too. They were fine at first then realized this wasn't a passing thing. Some kids don't seperate as well as others. If the teacher says he's fine once he gets over the inititial seperation it will get easier for him. Four weeks into school I still have one who sheds tears till mom is out of the building and then he's fine. I always meet him at the door and have a task for him to do right away: take down chairs or pass out material. He is the sweetest child and it is heartbreaking to see this each morning, but the tears don't last near as long now as they did 2 weeks ago.

[AnnW]

ditto everyone else..there has been alot going on around him lately, he might be picking up on the tensions plus like Kat said the "bloom is off the rose" so to speak. How does he act when you go to pick him up? Does he say that he had a good time? Does he refer to how he cried in the am? If he is calming down and not acting traumatized, I would let it go. Just hug him and tell him you will see him later. I found that "at the end of the day" sounded like a really long time, so I would usually say I will see you right after nap or snack or whatever was the thing right before I picked them up.

[KarlaB]

You've gotten lots of great advice!

I sure can relate as I struggled all of last year with my ds. :\ I agree with others that it could be tied into what is going on in the world right now. If you don't think that's it, maybe try to do a little "investigating" to see what could be causing this. Is he used to being at home with you ~ has he had much separation from you in the past? Do you think 4 days is too much? Do his teachers have any feedback for you? Like Ann mentioned ~ is he playing and having fun while there? How does he react at home if you mention school? Have his teachers offered any suggestions on how to help the situation? Does he think you are having fun without him while he is at school? Is your dh home during the time he is at school and ds wants to stay home with him since he has only been back for a little while? My ds always wants to know what his brother and I will be doing without him - I always make it sound boring. :) Hopefully this will soon pass for you. I know how hard it is to leave when they seem so devastated. :( Hang in there and let us know how it goes.