I say white he says black...when will this end?

[RCT]

ds is 6 going on 30, I can't believe that at least 8 out of 10 conversations we have, I will say one thing and he will insist that I am wrong....I say white, he says black, I get so exhausted by this constant banter...and I have noticed that he doesn't do this with dh.....is he playing me....I really try to stay cool and not let him push my buttons, but man....I get so frustrated...tell me this is a phase that boys go through....please.....I needed to vent a little....he is a great kid and I should complain but sometimes its so tiring...I want to scream I am RIGHT....so stop...but that won't accomplish anything....

[Amy2]

I hear ya. And yes, I do think he is playing you, because you're MOM. My ds does thing all the time. I think e is asserting his independence. Usually I find the strength not to argue with him, just say "whatever you say" but it can be a struggle. I find that if I can let many things go (" five one dollar bills ARE the same as a five dollar bill") then when I need to put my foot down and say "You can disagree with me if you want to, but I'm not debating this" it is easier. Still, there are times when you just want to pull your hair out.

Amy

[kat]

I also agree. He's playing you. It takes two and you seem to be the one willing to engage, at least up to a point.

"You can disagree with me if you want to, but I'm not debating this" sounds like a good response to make.

[AnnW]

Ditto Amy and Kat. I can remember pretty much saying the exact same thing when ds was that age. DD doesn't do it as much, but I think I stopped debating sooner with her so it didn't get so far.

And Amy, I thought you weren't a fan of Magic 1-2-3.....that is exactly what he says to say in the same situation!! :) :newwink:

[KathyT]

I agree with everyone else and think Ann touched on a very valid point: our youngest is 7 and I don't recall her going through that phase nearly as much as dd #1 who is 9. I think we had learned our lesson not to engage.

Dd1 still does this on occasion, but now I say to her "You know, no one know everything about everything, right?" and she kind of smiles and lets it go. That way, I am not saying I know everything and I am not saying she knows nothing!!

[RCT]

LOL....we are working the 1 2 3 magic, and so far so good, but it still makes my stomach churn that he always want's to disagree with me.....:lol:......(doesn't he know I am always right) :biglaugh: LOL.....I don't usually engage in his redorick, but I will admit it tests me to just say okey dokey...your all correct, about him testing in legs, and I'll say it again...How do you let them gain thier independance without breaking thier personality growth....they need boundries and rules....oh some days are harder than others....thanks for your replies :tinysmile

[Amy2]

Ann, I love Magic 1-2-3! (Not sure who is the one who doesn't like it.) I read it years ago when ds was little, and it's worked really well for us.

Renee, I think the way you let them grow while maintaining boundaries is to really, really pick your battles. Does it really matter if they wear two different socks? No. Does it really matter if they...you fill in the blank...yes. So there is NO negotiating on certain things, while you let go of others. Also, I find that if I give my ds responsibilities, let him do "adult" things (like using the iron, or the big mop to mop the floor, drinking his milk out of a wine glass if we are having wine) it makes him feel empowered and doesn't feel the need to fight for power. He feels powerful.

Amy

[AnnW]

Thought it was you who debated one time that it was too simplistic and didn't help them towards adult hood cause a boss doesn't count to 3 when you mess up....wonder who it was??LOL Oh well, the brain is going. Sorry.

It IS the best, isn't it!

[RCT]

Originally posted by Amy
.

really pick your battles. Does it really matter if they wear two different socks? No. Does it really matter if they...you fill in the blank...yes. So there is NO negotiating on certain things, while you let go of others. Also, I find that if I give my ds responsibilities, let him do "adult" things (like using the iron, or the big mop to mop the floor, drinking his milk out of a wine glass if we are having wine) it makes him feel empowered and doesn't feel the need to fight for power. He feels powerful.

Amy



Thank you...I printed this (in larger print..)LOL...and put in on my Fridge this morning.....I need to remember that....thank you again...
8)