Screaming child

[Linda/NE]

First of all my apologies for not responding to very many posts lately. I have a situation on my hands that I thought maybe someone would have a solution for.

Two of my kids have been screaming all day. Ds #3 refuses to talk/ask nicely he screams when he doesn't get what he wants, when he wants it. He's been screaming about almost everything today! :tearhair:

DD #1 has been screaming ever since she got in the car afterschool. Ds #1 just looks at her and she screams. Just a few minutes ago she was screaming because I wouldn't let her ride her bike over to the neighbor's house. There is no reasoning with her, I try to talk, she screams louder! :banghead:

Any suggestions what to do short of spanking or holding her down and putting soap in her mouth??? (These would be absolutely last resorts if even possibilities!)

Thanks!!

(I'm off to take some tylenol for this splitting headache and then get ready to go bowling. Think this will be an interesting night!)

[AnnW]

Bless your heart..I would be having a margarita or a glass of wine instead!! :) What happens if you just ignore them when they scream? Have you tried whispering back at them? That's all I can come up with.

[Cathy]

Linda, I'm sorry for you and, boy, do I sympathize. I hate it when mine 'tag-team' me. Like it's not enough to deal with one screamer. As I get angrier, my voice gets softer and softer. I lose all inflection and speak very calmly (Usually using big words!) Try being a 'broken record'.

"I refuse to answer until you have modified your voice to show respect."

"I refuse to answer until you have modified your voice to show respect."

"I refuse to answer until you have modified your voice to show respect."
and so on until she complies. The reduced reaction may stop her. Also, why would you try so hard to reason with a child who has clearly lost her mind (however temporarily)? Good luck. (This is reason #726 on the list of why Mommy has gray hair!)

[Sasha Rowan]

I don't know what ages your kids are. When my 5 yo ds starts that, I send him to his room until he is ready to talk to me. If we're out somewhere, we go to the car where mommy sits and stares out the window until they're done. My 2 yo dd usually only goes out of control when tired. Obviously a nap will help.

I believe the best thing is not to "hear" them or say "I don't understand you, you need to speak nice."

As for the one who won't let you talk, just pick her up, carry her to her room, drop her on her bed, turn around and leave. Do this every time she starts screaming.

HTH

[Diane]

Originally posted by Linda/NE
First of all my apologies for not responding to very many posts lately. I have a situation on my hands that I thought maybe someone would have a solution for.

Two of my kids have been screaming all day. Ds #3 refuses to talk/ask nicely he screams when he doesn't get what he wants, when he wants it. He's been screaming about almost everything today! :tearhair:

DD #1 has been screaming ever since she got in the car afterschool. Ds #1 just looks at her and she screams. Just a few minutes ago she was screaming because I wouldn't let her ride her bike over to the neighbor's house. There is no reasoning with her, I try to talk, she screams louder! :banghead:

Any suggestions what to do short of spanking or holding her down and putting soap in her mouth??? (These would be absolutely last resorts if even possibilities!)

Thanks!!

(I'm off to take some tylenol for this splitting headache and then get ready to go bowling. Think this will be an interesting night!)


When my kids were little it didn't take them very long to realize that screaming/crying and throwing tantrums would get them NOWHERE, except in trouble and in their bedrooms. If they would continued to scream, cry and throw tantrums, they'd have to stay in their rooms even LONGER... it just wasn't going to work with me. Also, I DID spank my kids if they didn't listen to me... plus they'd loose priviledges. It got them to think twice before doing whatever they were thinking of doing... LOL I was always consistent and they knew that what I say is what I mean... no negotiating or giving in. I might sound mean to some but I expect respect from my children and in return they always get it back from me. I also always rewarded good behavior with some kind words or a special treat for a job well done. It was nice when it finally sunk in to them that they got more by showing good behavior than screaming for everything they thought they needed/should get. LOL Good luck... I hope you can find something that works.

Diane...

[strawberryfire]

I hate that situation! When we did it as kids we would get privalges taken off us, sent to our room. If that didn't work, we were told we wouldn't get a star on the chart, that normally worked because if you got a certain amount you got a treat! The fear of having our treat taken away, or maybe a sibling getting it first usally set us straight!

[netmechwife]

I agree with Diane P. Good ideas... I am dealing with strong willed screaming 2 yo. this month(s?) When does it end!!??!! I need to start being more consistent with follow through. Thanks for the advice Diane. I needed it too. :)

[Leigh]

I have had several kids that I baby sit do this to me several times. I usually try to ignore them, and see if that helps. If their screaming is really driving me nuts, then I would put them in their room, and if they followed me out I continued to put them back in their room and tell them that until they use a nice voice they can stay there. Being consistent, like Diane P said is very important and like AnnW suggested maybe you could try to whisper. I am not much help I know, but would still like to offer my sympathies. Come here to vent when you need us.

PS I also like what Cathy said about being a broken record.

[RCT]

oh I am sorry your going through this....dd has her moments too....we do the broken record like Cathy said, and I have done the whispering technic, seems to work better with dd than ds....

when they calm down, or sleep....treat yourself well, ok...

[TXmom]

My youngest ds is a screamer. It helps sometimes to get right up in his face and smack him - rofl -JUST KIDDING!!! I get right up in his face and stoke his cheek gently and very quietly explain that I don't like to be screamed at. Similar to the whispering tactic others have mentioned.

[Amy2]

Earplugs. Seriously.

Amy

[JeannieOR]

As for the one who won't let you talk, just pick her up, carry her to her room, drop her on her bed, turn around and leave. Do this every time she starts screaming.

I used to do that with ds a few years ago but he's now too big to carry when he's screeming. Now I leave the room or even the house for a few minutes. It's usually pretty effective.




Earplugs. Seriously.

I like that , Amy!

[Diane]

I think a lot of times all these kids are trying to do is get some sort of a reaction out of you and when they get it... they've accomplished what they set out to do. LOL I think they actually ENJOY seeing that they have that kind of power over us... so as hard as it may be... NEVER show your frustration... look them straight in the eye and be STRONG. LOL When they finally figure out that they aren't going to SEE a reaction but a result... then they'll start to think twice about doing it in the first place. LOL

Diane... :wave:

[kathleen]

Speaking very softly and perhaps lightly rubbing my son's face works at our house -- when the tantrum is out of frustration, tiredness, etc.

When he is throwing a screaming fit to get his way, we usually take him by the hand to his room, put him on the bed, and walk out. I tell him that when he can talk nicely and normally about things then I will talk to him, but until then he can stay in his room.

(My son is 6, by the way). After a few minutes, he usually comes out and gives me a hug. When he says he is sorry, I ask him what for to make sure he knows what was unacceptable about the behavior.

[KarlaB]

Originally posted by Linda/NE
Any suggestions what to do short of spanking or holding her down and putting soap in her mouth??? (These would be absolutely last resorts if even possibilities!)

Unbeknownst to me youngest ds put soap on my toothbrush yesterday.....I could not get that horrible taste out of my mouth, so that is one thing I would not do. Ugh! My sil who works in a hospital does this to her dks and it makes me cringe, especially after tasting it myself! Eeeew!

Hope things are going better. I have also tried the whispering tactic - sometimes it works and others I have no luck with it. I have also tried ignoring the screaming and also done timeouts. Lots of wonderful advice given here. :) Hang in there and let us know how it's going!

[Diane]

Originally posted by KarlaB


Unbeknownst to me youngest ds put soap on my toothbrush yesterday.....I could not get that horrible taste out of my mouth, so that is one thing I would not do. Ugh! My sil who works in a hospital does this to her dks and it makes me cringe, especially after tasting it myself! Eeeew!

Hope things are going better. I have also tried the whispering tactic - sometimes it works and others I have no luck with it. I have also tried ignoring the screaming and also done timeouts. Lots of wonderful advice given here. :) Hang in there and let us know how it's going!

It's NEVER a good idea to wash a child's mouth out with soap. I once heard of a child who's mom did this and he had an allergic reaction to the soap. His mouth/throat swelled up and he sufficated. Ugh!!! Not a good thing to do. :(

Diane... :wave: