need other moms' advice

[lindaM]

Hi everyone!!! It's been forever since I've been here. Life has just been busy. But now I need some unbiased moms' advice.

My dd is in kindergarden this year. We live on Cape Cod, and her school is on Otis Airforce Base. (This is the base whose f-14's were scrambled on Sept 11th.) Since that date the base now has armed guards at the gate and searching the buses every day of school. They say there is no threat to the students going to school and they are safe. (before sept 11 it was a totally open base, all extra activies have been cancelled, churches, golf course, youth soccer and basketball are no longer taking place on base for security reasons.)

Here is my problem. DH was in the military for 10 years we decided not to have children till he was out of the military because we didn't want our children brought up in a military enviroment. (passing guards to go to the exchange, mc D's, or school on base.) Our town this year decided to reconfigure our schools and all kindergardeners go to the base for school. This is a 45 minute drive from our house on a good day. (no searches, now add about 20 minutes each day to get to school.) Kindergarden is not mandatory in Massachusetts so she doesn't have to go.

However, this year dd loves school, she has friends and loves her teacher. At open house she ran up to the principle and hug him. Last year she cried because she didn't want to go to preschool.

She is ahead in school so taking her out and homeschooling will not her at all if not hurt her learning wise, however the social change in her has been incredible.

So would you send your child every day to the base or keep her home. I'm very confussed.

And please don't say I'm anti military. That is what I was told by a parent at a recent military. I'm certainly not it's just that my 5 year old didn't enlist in the airforce. If at 18 she decides to great I'll be behind her 100%.

[AnnW]

How is she reacting to the increased security measures? Is she acting fearfull, resentful or upset in any way? Is she still happy with the school? If she is not really having any problems then I would leave her. It sounds like you are more upset by it than maybe she is.
btw..glad to see you back!!! :)

[Cathy]

Ann asked some good questions. I think kids have a better ability to adapt to change because they forget how things were before. Since this happened so close to the beginning of the year, she may just be taking this in stride. If you see value in kindergarten, even if only for social reasons, I'd be hesitant to take her out.

On a possibly related note.....I picked my sister up from the airport this weekend. It was a very upsetting sight (armed guards, no 'drop-off' zone in front of the airport, few people, no admittance to the gate areas without a ticket, etc.) It's going to require a mental adjustment for those of us who take access for granted.

[Amy]

I am no fan of military schools, but if you lucked into a good one, I would leave her there. On our base, there are guards everywhere. You even have to show ID to get into the hospital. But you know what? I don't mind it at because you are in the safest place possible because of this. No one is going to be able to pull up in a car with a bomb in the back or fly aircraft over the base that isn't military. You are much more vulnerable in a public area. I actually feel safer on base with all these people looking after us. My dd doesn't even question it and we usually joke with all the guards.

[lindaM]

her school isn't a "military" school the building is just on the base but run by our school system.

Also at this current state of alert we "non military" parents are not allowed on base to go to the school.

[Amy2]

Is there another option besides keeping her there or home schooling? Another kindergarten or coop that she could go to? If not, maybe there are other parents who feel as you do, and would love to create something that is situated somewhere other than on a military base.

Amy

[Amy]

Im not sure what you are confused by. If she loves her school and teacher and doesn't mind the extra time to get to school, than why would you consider pulling her? Are you upset that you don't have access to her while she is at school? How often would you be at school if you were granted access? If you wanted to volunteer, wouldn't they give you a special pass?

[Diane]

It sounds to me like she's quite content going to school where she is... and if she's happy and seems to like and look forward to going to school each and every day, I'd leave her right where she is. Why fix whats not broken? :) Good luck!!! :)

Diane... :wave:

[Amy2]

Because she doesn't want her kid in a military enviornment. I have to say, that would freak me out too! Guns and soldiers all around...not for me, or my kid!

Amy

[RCT]

good to see you back....IMO she sounds like a well adjusted little girls....I think you need to look at your situation in a sense of what is best for both of you....your not comfortable with her there....keep her home until next year.....good luck with your choice....

[darlene]

Hi Linda....was wondering where you had gotten to!

If dd is happy, I think I would let her be. I know I don't have alot of memories of school when I was that age....maybe in years to come she won't even remember the guards? It would bother me not to be able to go to her school when you wanted/needed to though.

Good luck with your decision.


:)

[Lynda/WA]

I'd let her be the guide. Especially if we are talking about just the rest of this year. If I'm understanding you correctly this is just the Kindergarten class that is lumped all together. Try and separate what is bothering you and what may bother her.

In fact she may find it a little reassuring. A child seeing things on TV may think that military people are someone to be afraid of. She's probably accustomed to people in uniform smiling at her. I'm sure she saw plenty of people in uniform prior to the attack so it may not phase her at all. You are probably more sensitive to the number of people then she is since as an adult you are paying more attention. She may feel safer. Sort of like going to school next to a police station or fire department. You know that those who protect you are right there.

If anything pulling here out would have a greater impact. It may scare her since she would perhaps wonder if she isn't safe going to school or even leaving the house.

I have to agree with Amy/CO. From a physical standpoint she's probably in the safest kindergarten possible. After the Columbine shooting I pointed out to DS's teacher the number of unattended backpacks laying up against the building. She just shrugged. Even before the increased security something like that wouldn't have been allowed on base. I've never heard of Otis before but can't imagine the base not having a hospital mere minutes away. And many of the people are aware of symptoms for chemical/ biological attacks. For that matter the base hospital probably has antidotes available. The base police have bomb dogs on base. Right now she's surrounded by people that were already being aware of their surroundings and utilizing safety measures. And those same people have everything available if there is a threat.

Is she going by bus? If so she probably doesn't even pay any attention to the gate guards since she's talking with other children. If you are driving that everyday I don't think I would have started at that school.

Is one of your concerns that you can't go on base with her? That would bug me especially if there was an emergency. Can you hook up with another mother that has access? Someone that could take her to their house if something big happened and that could meet you at the gates?

Were these things concerns when school started? If not what has changed? Sounds like just the quantity of security. Could it maybe be that you are more worried about other things (safety etc) and just thinking that the precence of guards is your main concern? Since she's in class she probably only sees the military people on her way in and on her way out. Would you be reacting the same if this was a school off base that has hired security guards?

[lindaM]

Thank you everyone for your imput. DH and I have decided to keep dd at school. She has come a long way in just two months coming "out of her shell" When we went to open house, (they made exceptions that day and let us on) she ran to the principle and teacher and hug them. This is a girl who three months ago was afraid of all men. the principle is a very nice man. And she is acctually talking to kids this year!!!

Two of my best friends have decided to send there children to private kindergarten but we just can't afford the $500/month for that. And I also that would be more distrubing to her. And homeschooling wouldn't help her socially like kindergarten has.

Just to answer a few of your questions. We are not allowed on base if we need our children in an emergency then we have to call the school and they will bring them to the gate (where the guards are so hopefully that won't be happening). The closest hospital is in Hyannis or Falmouth about 20/30 minutes. The air station isn't a fully operating base as of 3 months ago now it is. They have Pave Paw which is an early warning system for enemy aircraft for the east coast.

Also last year we weren't happy about sending the children to the base because the base is a superfund site because in WWII the military buried a lot of ammo and it has contaminatd the water plumes under the base. All our concerns were answered about this, however no one drinks the water at the base schools. At the time though this was our major concern because the base was inactive and no secruity at the gates. But who knew that these events would happen and as my dh said we can't keep second guessing ourselves.

Thank you all again.