4 year old girl question....help

[RCT]

ok...dd loves preschool.....has a great time there...when I talked with her teacher at the field trip, I was told that she is a joy...LOL...of course...but when we are at home...if she is told...NO, or not now....she starts to cry.. ..:bawling: if dh tells her, that her shoes are on the wrong feet...she crys ....:bawling: tell me this will stop....I am reamaining calm :biglaugh: ....but....I tell her that she doesn't need to cry when she doesn't like something...she smiles and then gets that sad face....and that she needs to talk in a normal voice...blah blah blah....is it cuz she is four? or a girl...this will end right? when its time for bed....she cries...:bawling: when she doens't like whats for dinner....she cries .:bawling:.....help........

[Amy]

hehehee welcome to my world! Its the age and when she turns six like my dd, they start in with the attitude. 4 is whiney and 6 is whiney with an attitude. I think its God's way of preparing us for their teenage years! LOL

[KarlaB]

LOL at Amy's answer!!! :lol:

I also think it's pretty normal........My niece is 3 1/2 and you could be describing her..only with her it's the whining that could drive a person crazy! :crazyroll She whines when she talks, cries and screams when she doesn't hear what she wants to hear, etc. :tearhair: Hang in there and hopefully someone else here will have some good advice. :)

[RCT]

Oh Amy NOOOOOOO :banghead:

well, at least I am not alone.....not that, that is very comforting....:lol:

[Cathy]

My initial reaction is as a teacher, because it's been a long time since my dds were that age......not that I'm any older, of course. LOL She is probably using a lot of her energy and frustration tolerance up at school. You taught her to do this, so don't blame her (you know--'company manners', how to get along with people, how to meet standards set by an adult, etc.). But at home she is feeling very safe and loved. She knows you'll love her anyway. I'd guess she's just too tired to put forth any more effort. Give her some more time, until about Halloween I bet, and make sure she's getting to bed really early (or at least getting enough sleep in the morning-she's pm prek, right?). She'll settle. I don't say throw out your standards, but pat yourself that she knows how to behave, and is trying her best. Frustration is brutal even for adults.

Much worse, for teachers, are children who cry and scream both at home and at school. They get whatever they want because their parents don't want to say no. The teacher has no choice but to hear the screams, and try to teach appropriate behavior, because the child can't always be first, or refuse to clean up, or climb on the tables. Permissive parents keep me up at night, trying to figure out strategies for behavior management, rather than lesson ideas. Hang in there, Renee...it'll pass...hopefully soon.

[AnnW]

Ditto Amy, and at 8 (or almost) they are a combination joy and bitch all rolled into one!!!!!!!!!! LOL DD would cry like that at a drop the hat and it drove dh up the wall. She is better now, we just get the pout, sulk and head toss!

I also agree with Cathy..they work so hard during the day to behave that we get the dregs! LOL (she said it better, so I didn't need to repeat it!! ;) )

[Cathy]

I left out responding to the comment that it prepares you for the teenage years. I actually like you people and I'd hate to be responsible for causing a feeling of impending disaster for you. Diane will probably treat this lightly too.

How does it go AnnW?? BWAAAHAHAHAHA. LOL

[PamL]

Originally posted by RCT
ok...dd loves preschool.....has a great time there...when I talked with her teacher at the field trip, I was told that she is a joy...LOL...of course...but when we are at home...if she is told...NO, or not now....she starts to cry.. ..:bawling:

It sounds a lot like our DD....just replace all of your :bawling: with :{ ! Anytime she doesn't like something, she gets mad :{ , if her shoes are on the wrong feet she gets mad :{ When she get's hurt - she gets mad :{ , if you tell her no, or not now - she gets mad :{ , etc.!!

Let me know if you find any answers, cause I am stumped! ?(

[AnnW]

Boarding school...convent...just thinking off the top of my head here!!!!!!!! LOL

[Jeff]

I know, feel, and am living your pain...sounds just like my 4yo

Amy/co - my almost 6yo--->
jeff: will you please get your shoes on
dd: no response
jeff: (bends down) will you please get your shoes on
dd: (with a look of defiance that would kill) I would if you get out of my face
jeff:8o

cathy- I agree

Annw- boarding school is looking better all the time LOL

[Sasha Rowan]

Originally posted by PamL


It sounds a lot like our DD....just replace all of your :bawling: with :{ ! Anytime she doesn't like something, she gets mad :{ , if her shoes are on the wrong feet she gets mad :{ When she get's hurt - she gets mad :{ , if you tell her no, or not now - she gets mad :{ , etc.!!

Let me know if you find any answers, cause I am stumped! ?(

Sounds like my 5 yo ds. First try the whine. Hmmm. Mom gets mad. [innoncent voice]Why are you always mad[innocent voice]. Mom still says No! Stomp feet and yell.8o

[Linda/NE]

My dd's are 6 & 5 and ds is 4. They all do the whine and cry thing when they don't get their way at times. One thing that has helped (had not completely solved the problem though) is to just remain unphased by their outbursts. My kids, anyway, use that tactic to get me riled so I'll give in. When they see it doesn't bug me they eventually stop. If your nerves can handle hearing the screaming or crying, ignoring it might work.

Also, I've found with a little boy in preschool who behaves this way, to look him right in the eye, talk calmly but sternly, and let him know this behavior is not acceptable and there is no reason for it. If he wants to join his friends in doing the fun things they're doing he will have to stop this or he can sit by himself and miss out.

Good Luck!!

[tiffany]

I'm a child care teacher, and what I find usually helps in this situation is letting the child have choices that you can agree with so that the child still feels like they have control over what is going on, but the control is still in your hands.
Tiffany