Adding A New Baby

[jodie robinson]

hI..i AM CURIOUS ABOUT HOW OTHERS HAVE HANDLED HAVING A PRESCHOOLER AND HAVING ANOTHER ON THE WAY. mY SON WILL BE 4 1/2 Y.O. WHEN BABY #2 ARRIVES. RIGHT NOW HE IS VERY EXCITED ABOUT BECOMING A BIG BROTHER (I AM ONLY 6 WEEKS ALONG) AND IS HOPING FOR A LITTLE SISTER. I HAVE SEEN BOOKS ABOUT BECOMING THE BIG BROTHER AND WE PLAN TO INVOLVE HIM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. IS THERE ANY OTHER TIPS THAT ANYONE CAN GIVE ME?
THANKS,
JODIE

[netmechwife]

I had an 18 mo. when I had my second baby (I know it is a lot of age difference from yours...) But I tried to involve him as much as possible and also tried to give him special mommy time whenever I was able. I take him shopping with me a lot now and leave baby with dh. We have fun looking at the stores and him pointing out things he sees. I use the time to teach him a little of the basics like colors objects shapes etc. One of the best ideas is to try to keep things as normal as possible (what he would consider normal) and refresh yourself when possible. It will help you to feel more prepared to meet everyone elses needs. I had a special basket of toys, snacks etc. he could use while I nursed (he didn't seem to care if I nursed the baby and I don't remember really using the basket much...) So the basket idea will depend on the personality of your 4 1/2 yo. My little boy loved to help me with the baby and liked to sit next to me at times while I held the baby or fed him. But he definitely wanted his time too and I let him stay up a little later than the baby so we could read together and snuggle.

Let me know if you need more ideas. Hope all goes well. When are you due? We are expecting our 3rd next summer.

[jodie robinson]

Thanks for the advice. I am due June 29,2002. I am really shocked at how enthusiastic he is over the new baby. Since he has been our only one for so long I thought this would be difficult. He has already picked out the name for the baby, although his choice won't be a contender...(Its Cinnamon Adibo) He is very helpful now and tells me how much he is going to help out with his "sister". Good luck to you and your family with baby#3.
Jodie

[AnnW]

My kids are 4.5 years apart. Since we were adopting, we didn't have alot of lead time or exact idea of when the baby would come. We did generic things like got him a baby Madame Alexander doll or some books. We would talk about how he came into our family and that we loved him so much we wanted to have more kids. He wanted to name the baby too...Baby Jesus! LOL We told him that was alot to live up to!
He was so thrilled the day we got her that he went knocking on everyone's door saying "my baby is here". It was really very sweet.
I would let him hold, help feed or assist me in any way HE wanted to. One thing that was good was that I was able to gear her schedule around his school day so she was sleeping when he got home from PreK. That seemed to help alot because he got to still have his cuddle time with me. We would still have family dinner time with her sitting in the carrier next to us. I tried to as much as possible not say "I can't do that right now because of the baby".
I will tell you that I thought by the kids being so far apart in age that we would skip the whole sibling thing and we did till she was about 5, but we are in it now! LOL I try to stay out of it unless it becomes dangerous! ;)

[netmechwife]

Cinnamon Adibo... How cute. Kids are so funny! :)

[jodie robinson]

Thanks Ann. My son has already told me that he wants to teach the baby how to play etc. and I get to feed and clean. We wanted our kids at least 4 years apart so all worked out well in that department. We are still not sure if ds will go to prek. We sat in one day on a class and he was bored out of his mind. He loved the playtime with the other kids, but when it came to learning colors,numbers,alphabet he was bored because we work on that stuff at home. He kept asking the teacher when they were going to do some math. But our main reason for wanting another child now is to get ds used to the idea before he starts Kindergarten. I thought it would be a battle introducing the idea since he has never had to share us 24/7. I do childcare from our home so he is used to babies and other kids having my attention. In the past 6 months I also went back to work outside the home 2 evenings a week. This has gotten him used to dh putting him to bed. We still have time I guess to make sure he is ready.Thanks again.
jodie

[Linda/NE]

First of all Congratulations !!

I think it's really important to make time for him separate from the baby.

From what you said he really doesn't seem to be bothered by this yet. When we were expecting our third, my oldest was 5. He was acting out in preschool. Part of it was because he was bored and part was over the baby. His teacher gave us a really neat suggestion. She said to light a candle and tell him that's his parents' love for each other. Then from the flame of that candle light another candle and explain that it is the love the parents have for him. Then light a third candle from the parent's flame for the second child,etc. Each time explaining that the parents' love for him doesn't get smaller because there are more children.

Best of luck!! :)