kids!

[TXmom]

I tell you - I often wonder what made me think I was good enough to be a parent! This is tough stuff!

Ds (4) has been up crying through the night for the last 2 nights. He said his tooth hurt , so I took him to the dentist yesterday. They replaced a filling and we all thought he was taken care of. Well, again last night he fussed all night so I took him back to the dentist and he needs a root canal (although at 4 they call it a pulpotomy)! 8o

Also, I've been worried about ds (12) lately. He has a girlfriend. Well, at 12, these "girlfriends" usually last about 5 days max. He's had this girlfriend now for a month and it's getting far more serious than I think it should at 12 years old. I just feel like I've lost him - he's not mine anymore - he's getting to be so much of his own person. This little girl is the cutest little cheerleader you've ever seen, but he's too young for all this!

Anyway, it feels good to vent, and any words of wisdom from those of you with precocious older children is greatly appreciated!

[MaryL]

{{{{TXMom}}}} I don't have any advice for you....I'm learning from all of your experiences!! (My kids are 8 and 5.) You're a great mom.....!

[Cathy]

Sorry, but I have to tell you that my dd is the cutest little chearleader I've ever seen. (I saw her at her first bball game tonight and she was great. I'm sure the whole gym full of adults thought so too. But I hope those teenage boys didn't notice!! LOL) Now that that's out of the way....

I totally hear you on the "they're too young" thing. I hate that they are moving away from me and are so caught up in their friends and always talking about who's going out with whom. I suggested a 'family movie' a couple of weeks ago. Their reaction made my suggestion change to a command performance. I wasn't too proud of myself for drawing the line, but we hardly spend time together anymore. Everyone's so busy with homework and activities and now work for the oldest. But I keep reminding myself that this is what I raised them to be......independent, capable, involved, and hard working. Those traits have attracted lots of friends and acquaintences (both boys and girls). I hope that my values and the things I've taught them (okay some days drilled into them!) about how to behave and what kind of person to be are enough to help them make good decisions. As wonderful as it is not to have to worry about a babysitter, and the cooking and all the other things they can do now, I feel a little sad that they are not so dependent on me.

Ouch to your ds on the root canal. That sounds like a horrible experience at any age. Hope it goes well, and that he feels better quickly.

[Cathy]

PS How badly is your 12yo stressing over the right Christmas gift for the young lady? That's a toughie. Christmas break always changed the social situation around here. New year --new 'boyfriend'. Ugh...

[arianna]

MM! Donna your topic made me automatically think of Bye Bye Birdy! Kids what's the matter with kids today !
I don't want to think about mine growing up just yet! ....ßß!

[KathyT]

Donna, no words of wisdom but I do feel for you, that must be tough. I know I'm not ready for all that yet.

Hope the pulpotomy (??) goes well, sounds painful :(

[RCT]

Oh Donna....I hope ds's pulpotomy goes well...OCH 8o sounds painful...hope he is ok....sorry he has to go through....can you load up the freezer with popcycles...and shertbert....

As for you Pre-Teen....where is AnnW..when you need her...LoL..arn't your boys the same age...? Oh I hear you fear...mine kids are only 4 and 6 but I am feeling what your saying...a girlfriend....serious....at 12...I agree it seems so young...

have you tried asking your oldest ds to do things with you alone...with out dh and your younger ds...maybe lunch so you can talk...maybe talk about his girl friend...finding out what it is about her that is so great....you said she seems like a nice kid....I am at a loss....maybe just keeping open those lines of commuication you've already established....your a great mother Donna....

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

PS..what does dh think? just curious...he was a 12 year old boy once right? :lol:

[Diane]

My dd (also a cheerleader) :) has been going out with her boyfriends for 10 months now... Ugh!!!! :rolleyes: I see so many good things about them growing up... because as Cathy said... you've raised them to be independent, capable, involved, and hard working, but at the same time it's awfully hard to see them moving away from you, being independent and making their own decisions... and not needing you as much, which sometimes can be an awful feeling. I get mixed feelings... sometimes I wish they were little again while other times I'm SO happy that they are the ages they are. I think that the hadest time (for them and for us) is when they're between being an adult and a little kid. They'll drive you absolutely crazy trying to prove to themselves, and to you, just how big and grown up they are. You can't tell them ANYTHING Because YOU don't know anything... and THEY KNOW BEST/EVERYTHING! LOL... I'm SO glad (hopefully) that I'm all done with that crap. Only my oldest dd put us through that... while thank GOD the last two have been a lot kinder.

Don't ever think you're not a good parent Donna... we ALL go through certain things with our kids and sorry to say, this is just the beginning.
:grimace: Nobody ever said it was easy... LOL :tearhair: You just continue to do your best. Don't be afraid to say anything to your ds about his relationship with this girl... set boundaries and make sure they abide by them. I remember how happy I was when my oldest dd and her first boyfriend broke up. :happydnc: I know that probably sounds awful but... it really did make me feel uncomfortable. I won't say why here because I don't want to get totally bashed but... I wasn't the only one who felt this way. :) You WILL get through this and some day you'll look back and sigh a big sigh of relief and wonder how you ever got through it. :biglaugh:

I hope your ds's tooth starts feeling better... ouch!!!! I hate tooth problems, they are SO darn painful! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts... Come here any time to vent, we are always here for you. :)

Diane...

[TXmom]

Thanks guys - I'm feeling much better this morning! It's just that last night ds and 4 others were gathered out on the front lawn "chatting" and the two girls were paired up with ds and one of the other boys. It got dark so I ended up driving the girls home. Ds's friend got in the van, and I said "Hunter, why am I taking you home - you just live around the corner" He said "Yeah, but I want to ride with Rachel" (The names have been changed to protect the innocent!) Ds was in the back seat with his arm around his girlfriend. I did tell him I thought this was getting a little too serious for his age, and he said "Mom, I don't know what you thought you saw, but I wasn't doing anything."

Well he was touching her, wasn't he?!


Renee - I think AnnW's ds is a grade younger. My ds will be 13 in a few weeks. Oh, and dh thinks ds is a stud of course! Seriously though, he's tried talking to him to about not getting too serious too soon, but he's not as worried about all this as I am.

Cathy - I really hope they break up before Christmas. Ds likes to overspend on these girls!

[RCT]

Originally posted by TXmom
(The names have been changed to protect the innocent!) Ds was in the back seat with his arm around his girlfriend. I did tell him I thought this was getting a little too serious for his age, and he said "Mom, I don't know what you thought you saw, but I wasn't doing anything."
Well he was touching her, wasn't he?!


Renee - Oh, and dh thinks ds is a stud of course! Seriously though, he's tried talking to him to about not getting too serious too soon, but he's not as worried about all this as I am.



OH funny about ds saying "Mom, I don't know what you thought you saw, but I wasn't doing anything."


and yes he was wasn't he...LOL...

I am sure this will pass, because remember when you were a 13 year old girl...well we didn't date then, but....your fickle then....right?
hang in there honey.....