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View Full Version : Bummed about trip down memory lane



kat
03-03-2001, 11:01 PM
My ds has a science project due this month. He chose to do it on Arkansas minerals. He choses quartz. It just so happens that the largest quartz mine in Arkansas is in the town where I graduated from high school. So we decide to make it a family affair. We decided to take a field trip today. We thought it would be fun to go to the mine and try to dig up our own crystals. The weather; however, had different plans for us. There was a slight chance of rain today. I don't think it rained here at home till after we got back, but the farther south we went today the more rain we ran into. That wasn't really such a big deal, since we could still go to the rock shop and buy some crystals. Which we did. But, what to do with all the time on our hands?? I know, why don't we go see where mommy used to live. Now mind you, the school I graduated from was small (my class had 30 graduates). This school was 15 miles from the nearest town, and I lived 22 miles from school in the boondocks. I was so excited just being near the school which had grown, and the little community which only had a gas station and one burger joint when I went to school there, now had Taco Bell, KFC, Dairy Queen, Sonic, Stoby's Bar-b-que, and Domino's Pizza! So off we went - to the boondocks. The closer we got to No-where, the more my ds complained. Where I lived in Buckville, Arkansas was really just a place where people kept hunting and fishing cabins, very few people lived out there full time. Any way, we get there and everything is changed. We go down 3 pig trails before we find the right one. (It has been 25 years since I was there.) Dh was getting a little worried too, because we had 2 major ice storms this year with lots of damage. There were broken trees everywhere, plus all the mud from the rains we've had statewide lately. These pig trails were definitally on the bottom of the county's "fix" list. Anyway, we find the right road and find my old home. It looked good. The people who live there had taken care of it. Ds wasn't impressed. Then I wanted to try and find my grandparents old place. Now this place has many wonderful memories for me. While growing up we spent nearly every holiday and most summers there. We called it "the old house". It was wonderful. Located between 2 creeks at the base of a small mountain (looked bigger when was younger). Old farm house, barn, storage shed, smoke house, and outhouse (never had an indoor toilet, though it did have a sink and huge cast iron ball and claw bathtub in the bathroom). Massive oak tree in the front yard with an old tire swing where we'd play "Tarzan", and swimming down on the big creek under and old swinging bridge.
Ds doesn't want to go, but I tell him it's only a couple of miles away. Of course with everthing so different we do take a wrong pig trail again, but only one this time. We get on the right road, and Dh is really worried, because of the trees, but I insist that if the gate is open I want to go on. (Several years ago we had tried to go there and owners had put up an iron gate. We had heard that the old house had burned down since then. Brother and sisters and I had discussed trying to buy the propery and rebuilding the "old house".)
Anyway, I expect to see the owners have rebuilt, or there will be nothing but the property. I get excited when the gate is open. The road is barely passable. Then we see signs that say "no trespassing" and "beware of dogs". I still want to go on. Memories are flooding back as we climb a narrow slate bank (where we collected "skipping rocks" as children) and see the rolling creek below. I start to tell of a red cabin on the right that used to belong to my uncle and the little creek bed that we have to cross to get to the house. I tell Dh it is usually dry, but because of the rains of course it isn't. We cross it, and come in sight of the old home place and I just die. Not only is the house gone, all the out buildings are gone, the massive oak tree is about a 4 foot splinted stub, there is a ratty trailor at the base of the mountain and the forest area across from the house has be cleared and there are about half a dozen little trailors and campers. The place looks like a dump! I want to scream at these people, "What have you done to this beautiful, peaceful old home place?" The dogs are barking and it looked as if the kind of people living in that kind of squawler might just meet us with a shot gun, so we turn around and head back. The whole way home I had to fight back tears. That place meant nothing to those people. To see it like that especially in light of the fact that my grandfather has been in the hospital for a month having fallen off a ladder while trimming tree limbs at his present place just tore at my heart.
It's like a whole way of life just disappeared. My whole day was ruined. Ds didn't understand why I was upset. I wanted him to see the place that holds more memories for me than any other and it was just horrible.
I thought putting this down would help and maybe it has, but I can barely see the screen now, because the tears I held back all day are flowing freely now so I guess I'd better go. Sorry this so long.

AnnW
03-03-2001, 11:40 PM
Oh sweetie (((((((kat))))))) I am so sorry!!!!

Mickey
03-04-2001, 12:31 AM
Aw, Kat...while I feel badly for you because you're sad and hurting, you have some wonderful childhood memories and you described them eloquently! I was picturing the Waltons! :) Just remember that those places are just that...places. What's really important are the loving family memories and relationships you have in your heart.

Leigh
03-04-2001, 04:51 AM
I am so sorry that things didn't turn out the way you wanted them too. I am about in tears for you now. I hope that you listen to Mickey and remember that you do have many wonderful memories and they can't be torn down. They will always be in your heart and mind. BTW I was picturing the Waltons too.

RCT
03-04-2001, 10:29 AM
I feel for you, my childhood home, and neighborhood, are completely different now too.....its very sad, but it doesn't change what you remember....the place your describing sounds like my town now, except we are buried in Snow.....sorry things didn't go as you had hoped.....

Amy2
03-04-2001, 12:57 PM
Sweetie, that's so hard! For whatever it's worth, I think you should get a journal and write down just how it USED to be, and all your wonderful memories of the place. Describe the beautiful Oak tree and how you played and what your grandparents place felt like. One day when your children are older, they can read it, and then they will probably truly appreciate your visions and memories. You will have kept that history alive, and that is a wonderful thing. Love, Amy

Diane
03-04-2001, 02:32 PM
I'm so sorry for the way things turned out for you. It's so hard to go back and see that things aren't quite the way they use to be... but nobody can take away all of those wonderful memories you will always hold in your heart. My old childhood home is within driving distance of the house I now live in but it's sad to see how much it's changed. Whoever moved into it hasn't kept it up... When we lived in it the yard was always so perfect, shutters and awnings on the house and the house was ALWAYS painted so nice. (my dad was a painter and decorator) They've taken the shutters off, no more awnings... the house in in dire need of paint. My mom use to have a HUGE flower garden in the back yard... now their is nothing but vacant land. Where us kids use to run and play... build forts, climb trees (and build treehouses) is now all highway. It's sad but unfortunately they've called it "progress". Not in my book... but nobody can ever take away all of those wonderful memories, and fortunately a lot of pictures we had taken. You'll never forget... and that's at least something. :) Good luck and I hope all of your memories will help you get through this tough time. :)

kat
03-04-2001, 02:41 PM
Originally posted by Mickey
you have some wonderful childhood memories ... I was picturing the Waltons!
I know I have those memories and will always cherish them, it just really hit home that I had not shared that part of my life first hand with my children.
It is funny that you pictured the Waltons. It was always one of my favorite shows and yet I always saw the Waltons as really poor, backwoods mountain people. I never saw my family as poor. (But we were, and we lived in the Ouachita mountains of Arkansas, in the backwoods no less - so in a way we were the Waltons.) No, I never saw us as poor! We had nice, clean homes and we were never hungry. It wasn't until well after I was married and had my own children that my Dh made me realize we were really "poor". He came from a middle class upbringing in the suburbs of Chicago and would always be amused by my stories. He called them my "poor girl" stories. I didn't think we were poor: I thought we ate beans 4 times a week because we liked them. I thought we ate mayonnaise sandwiches because we liked them - it never occured to me that we had no meat for the sandwich.
Now my own kids have been raised in middle class comfort and they lack for nothing - nothing except the first hand knowledge of a simpler time when you needed only fireflies, flat rocks, or even dried "cow pies" to pass the time. Sometimes you needed nothing at all, just to lie in the porch swing and listen to the "creak - squeak" as you rocked back and forth.
Everything is too hustle bustle today. We live in a world where you probably never need get out of your car. We have fast food, electronic mail, and pick up windows for everything. People are always in a hurry. There is road rage and people passing on the right because they can't wait 60 seconds for the car in front of them to turn left. On the trip yesterday ds was excitied about the possiblity of digging in a quartz mine, but when that wasn't possible, he wanted to buy the quartz and head back home to his computer. When we dicided to find the old homes, he wanted us to grab a burger and eat in the car to save time instead of going inside to eat.
This is what bothers me most. That I failed to show that side of life to my kids.
Amy, I am going to put all of that down on paper and in a scrape book for my kids and for me, but still I missed an opportunity for them to experience at least some of that first hand. That is what is so disheartening.
I hope that all who read these posts take stock of the things in your lives that are important to you and share those things with your children before you lose something that you can't get back.
Thanks ladies for your imput. And while I am discouraged, I am also very excited about putting those thoughts and feelings to paper. Maybe I'll post a few here and sound you all out about a few things.

Jezmom
03-04-2001, 07:03 PM
kat,are you still in AR? I think Amy has a great idea. MAybe you could even write them (your memories) into short stories for your children and keep them as a way to pass on the wonderful memories you had as a child, to your children.

kat
03-04-2001, 08:26 PM
Yes, I still live in AR. When I went off to college in '76 my dad had retired and my grandparents decided to move to Clarksville, which is the area that both of them had grown up in. GPs kept the old house for a while and visits were made there for vacation time for a few years, then they decided to sell it and not divide their time. More work was found elsewhere. Mom and Dad built a new home too. I quit school, married husband #1 (a big mistake), moved to S. Carolina, had a baby (big mistake; however, had 3 babies during the marriage). Anyway - got a divorce, went home, put myself through college while raising young son, found my way back to the church of my up-bringing where I met my DH, got a job teaching kdg. and the rest is history.

Sheryl
03-04-2001, 09:33 PM
I graduated in a class of 16 (that includes me, my twin sister, and a nephew). The few weeks leading up to graduation almost the whole class vowed they would never stay to live there. BUT, GUESS WHAT... 50% live in the same town or within 35 miles of where we graduated. I guess it wasn't so bad after all. We had lived there a few years after graduation from college. Small town life is great, but too bad there isn't much keeping people there with the economy the way it is for the farmers. We now live 12 hours away, and yes it is very hard when you have a birth in the family to celebrate or a death to cope with when you just wish you were there. This past year has been extremely tough. We just keep the photo albums readily accessible to look back and remember when we get down in the dumps.

kat
03-04-2001, 09:45 PM
Jezmom
Where in AR are you, if you don't mind sharing that info.

KarlaB
03-04-2001, 10:02 PM
I feel for you! :( I think Amy had a great idea about writing all of your memories down. It's hard when dks are bored with things that are so important to us, but I think it's hard for them to understand and have the appreciation that we do until they are older. By writing it all down it will all be there for him. Even though you can't take him to the exact place anymore, continue to share stories with your ds. And, although he may seem bored or disinterested with it at times, he will at least pick up bits and pieces and you'll probably be amazed at how much he takes in and remembers. Maybe he'll even start to ask for more stories? :) Hang in there and treasure the wonderful memories you do have. :)

Jezmom
03-05-2001, 01:44 PM
I live in Conway(near Little Rock), I grew up in Mayflower. My childhood sounds a lot like yours.

kat
03-05-2001, 03:40 PM
Jezmom

Well, hey neighbor. I went to UCA for 1 semester in '76 before I quit to make a few mistakes LOL! Life is on track now.

I might need to clarify my mistakes, because that doesn't sound too good. Mistake was quitting school, marrying the wrong man and moving away from family. During the course of that marriage I had one child, he had 2 extra-curricular children besides mine. My child was not a mistake, though his teen years were h---. Now he's 20 and on his own. Youngest son is 12.

We live west of you down I 40 in Clarksville.

[Edited by kat on 03-05-2001 at 07:33 PM]