extended family support of extra currics

[Lynda/WA]

Just curious how much support your kids get from your extended families in their extra curricular activities. DS has had his grandparents show up to one of his baseball games. His aunt and uncle wanted his schedual last year but never made it. They've asked for it again this year. I'm a little cynical and think they only asked because others were in the room! To give them credit they do live 1 hr away. We went to my nieces school carnival but in all honesty that was only because she volunteered to help at it the weekend we were babysitting her at our house over 1 hour away.

How about financially? My niece (10yr old) wanted to be in a local beauty pagent so she went around and asked all the relatives for donations. I thought that was in bad taste since her mom had her asking and my SIL knew we hadn't put DD and DS in swimming because of a budget crunch at that same time. My FIL/MIL gave her a 100$ check. Do you guys ask for money to pay for the activity? Or just the fundraiser that goes with the activity? (BTW she hit us up for that as well!)
The first and only time we ever hit up the relatives was yesterday with the candy bar fundraiser for his BB team. My FIL shelled out $1.
Guess I'm venting a bit because I'm PO'd with how the in-laws favor my nieces. I was in a bad mood to begin with because we were invited for 2 hours on a Sunday to my niece's first birthday. It took us a 2 1/2 hour round trip. Longer in the truck then at the party! This is the same relation that completely ignored birthdays for my DD until her 4th. Incidently that was when my SIL was pregnant.

[Diane]

My youngest dd had been in dance for 13 years and out of those 13 years my parents only attended one dance recital. My dad always used the excuse that he just couldn't stand sitting that long... and the one time they did go they left as soson as dd was done dancing her 1st dance. It was almost like they could hardly wait to leave. LOL I never bothered asking after that. I'm sure dd felt pretty bad but if she did she never said anything.

When my middle dd was in soccer, again nobody ever bothered to come and watch either. In all fairness though, the games were always very early (right after school) and sometimes it was even difficult for me to get to too many of them. I also always got the feeling that if you asked anybody to attend, the only reason why they WOULD come is because they felt obligated... I didn't ever want anybody to attend unless they really wanted to be there... so after a few times we just stopped asking.

As far as financial help for anything... not a whole lot. It seemed as if their school was always having some kind of a fundraiser going on. After being approached/asked 5 or 6 times to buy stuff, I think it started getting real old and I could tell that nobody was too thrilled about being approached with yet... another fundraiser. My parents have never ordered anything from any of my dd's fundraisers... but my one sister, who really likes my dd, has gone way out of her way to order from her. My parents have always treated all of their grandchildren equally though... so in that way I can't complain, but they've never really been too involved in their lives. I think having 17 grandchildren might have a lot to do with that, because they know that if they attended one grandchild's thing they'd be expected to attend ALL of them... and they'd never have time to themselves if they had to do that. LOL
My kids have never just gone around though asking for money for anything from anybody... I would never allow them do something like that because quite frankely... I think it's really tacky thing to do. I'd be too embarrassed to let them do it!

I've always been a little envious when I see a lot of children (usually the same ones) who always seem to have tons of relatives attending their functions... I always felt a little funny because we never have any, and it makes me feel bad for my child. I've always tried to be involved in my neices and nephew's extra curricular activities but I hate to say, when they weren't attending any my children's things it made me feel as if I didn't want to attend their's. Maybe that sounds childish but I couldn't help the way I felt. Anyway, we just never ask anymore. It's better thinking that their not there because they weren't asked. Sorry to ramble and go on... :)

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[KarlaB]

My dks aren't in any extra curr activites yet, but I do go to activities for my little brother (13 yo) and nephews who live an hour away. Most of our wknds the past few months have been traveling to go to their hockeys games. In the summer we go to their bike races, but they are in town so that is easier for us. I try to make the effort while they are active, and while my dks are young and we aren't involved with sports for them. Dh coaches and my family will even attempt to get to some of his games, so it's nice to have their support, too.

As far as financially, there isn't a whole lot - maybe a couple times a year when one of them hits me for a school fund raiser. My nephew just called last week to ask me to order a magazine. Although I have plenty of current subscriptions and no time to read the ones I have - I ordered one from him. I guess I know how hard it is for these kids to have to sell these things and I wanted to help him out. It also helped that it was something I knew would be good - unlike the icky food or overpriced wrapping paper we've bought! LOL!

I can relate to grandchildren being treated differently. My mil is barely in our lives and it is sad. I feel bad for my dks and like they deserve better than that because I know what a treasured and magical relationship one can have with grandparents! Hang in there!

[AnnW]

My parents go to a couple of games of each sport that the kids play. They also buy girl scout cookies or boy scout stuff whatever. The inlaws can't come in, but will buy or make a donation if the kids call and ask themselves.