DD had an emotional blow out!

[kacee]

We had a great time in the car. I have a 9 year old girl that comes home with us. (She will be moving at the end of summer though!) Any way, I get home and asked dd to settle down and do her homework. (There was an issue of sticky tack in the other girls hair - MY DD's doing) Anyway she got upset ran outside without a coat. Yes, freezing here today. I was getting the girls homemade bread and jelly for a snack.

After I fixed the girls hair, I get my DD's coat and go and find her. It was not acceptable to run away, and she needed her coat on.

20 mins. later and in her room, She cries she is lonely has no friends and no one listens to her. (Apparently, friends at school had a fall out.)

I don't know what to do. Her friend is over 3 days a week. We played a game as a family last night. I listen to her as attentively as I can.

I just feel that she needs to learn to be independent and enjoy quiet time, but to her it is lonely time. (Perhaps, I was too involved with play groups with her??? We always had friends and people over when she was little) She just doesn't enjoy playing by herself, but loves to play all day??? What do I do??? Is it independence here that I need to teach??? Or What???


Am I failing as a mother??? Sure feels that way..

There are many who are only children, is this normal? We pray and want more children, but I don't want to do all the medical stuff right now. AGGGUUUUUHHHH - Will more children even help? I was trying to explain to her that I had 3 siblings and still felt lonely.

I wish she would get one great best friend...... Any solutions out there????

[PamE]

{{{HUGS}}} You are NOT failling as a mother!!! (not shouting, just emphasizing) Dd went through the same thing around that age, and seems to go off the emotional deep end on occasion. I wonder if it's not a precursor to body changes? It seems to occur more when she's going through a growth spurt.


No answers for you, only sympathy! ?(

[Leigh]

I can only offer sympathy too because I don't have any answers either. I hope things get better soon, and you are not failing as a mother.

[Amy]

I think you cherish/partake in her life so much that you have created a dependence for constant attention. My first born is like that. Trust me-I stopped giving her undivided attention constantly when ds was born (dd was 2 1/2 at the time), but it was already instilled in her that she requires lots of attention. Compound what I told you and multiply it by 9 years (your dd's age) and you can figure out whats going on.

I don't think anyone's a bad Mom who loves their child that much. You probably do need to teach her to enjoy her own company though. Her self-image and indepence will grow once she is comfortable and confident of herself. Good luck! :)

[AnnW]

It seems like you have two issues going on...
one....It sounds like to me that she was manipulating you because she was upset at being punished. What better way to deflect the trouble off of herself if she knows she can push mommy's buttons by saying she has no friends and is lonely. Of course she was lonely, she was in her room being punished!!! LOL

two..if she truly doesn't know how to entertain herself, you might need to step back and see how often you rush in to solve her boredom problem for her. It can also be her personality. My dd has only just recently learned how to truly entertain herself, ds has done it for years.