childless by choice

[Dena]

It was brought to my attention to look for a chat board about childless by choice. I want to have children but right now, the timing is just awful! Does anybody out there feel this way? And if you do live, how do you deal with your own emotions, friends with kids, and not knowing what you can do? I need to feel this void that is in my life. My husband and I are trying to get back on our feet after money problems, he is staying with some of our friends and I am staying with my mom. I am use to blowing and going and now it has all come to a halt! Help I am bored! I teach school, but when I come home their is nothing for me to do. Husband and I are not seperated, his job has just moved him and I couldn't leave my job!

[Karen]

Sounds like a very frustrating, upsetting situation. Do you have timeline on how long you will live apart? If you have an end in sight, that will make it easier to bear, then you can work on the child issue. Our situation was a little different, but we went through not knowing if we wanted children, having trouble having a child, then having one, then geographical separation. Worst time of my life. You may already have thought of this, but is there anything you can do after work so you don't have so much time on your hands? Workout, volunteer work, etc.?

Good luck and hang in there. Hopefully this will all be a distant memory someday!

[AnnW]

I was the one that made that suggestion cause I thought if you did a search you might find alot more people out there that feel that same way you do and could really help you and understand what you are going through. While this is the best place in the world, most of us are parents so while we may empathize with you, we may not totally understand what you are feeling. :)
For me, parenthood did not come as quickly as I wanted and it was terribly frustrating, but to be honest, that seems such a distant bad dream that I know I wouldn't be of much help!!! LOL

[Amy2]

Dena, I would caution you about the Childless by Choice boards, often called CF (Child Free) boards. They are most often not about people who want children one day, but folks who do NOT want them in any way, shape, or form, and they can be extremely hurtful to parents, and parent wanna be's.

The other thing I wanted to offer is maybe if you try to appreciate the time you are having to wait. If you can. Though having children is probably the greatest thing you'll ever do, it is extremely challenging in the best circumstances, and to go into it with all the upheavel and stress that you are would take much of the joy out of it. You and your family will be so much better served to get your feet back on the ground before moving forward.

For whatever it's worth, I have a friend, she's 42, who gave birth to her first child, a beautiful, perfect little angel. The time was right, and they are so happy. Good luck. Amy

[Leigh]

I also do not have any children right now. I really want children very bad, but I know deep in my heart that now is not the right time. We do not have the money. I am trying to finish college, and dh has also been traveling quite a bit with his job. We are about to move, so that I can finish school, and dh is going to find another job. We plan on trying to have children as soon as things get settled down. I know that it is hard seeing all my friends with children. I can only think of one right now that does not have a child, but I just spoil my friend's children. I know that they are not mine, but it helps to know that I do have several children that I can love and give my attention to.