changing schools mid-year

[Amy]

Have any of you moved during mid year of a school year? Was it hard on your kids to start school in their old school, only to be moved to a different school? There is talk/rumor about the POSSIBILITY of dh being able to leave end of October. We would wait until Christmas vacation to move, but am worried about dd. To go from a class of 14 to a class of 25 in a new area is overwhelming for me. She is quite socialable, but I'm afraid that friendships will already have been formed and she will be treated like an outsider.

Any advice? Im clueless because I never moved as a child and had life long friends since Kindergarten!

[AnnW]

So what's the alternative? Homeschool her in case you leave? What if you don't leave? Stay separated from your dh till May if the leave does come through?
It might be tough, but she's a kid and resiliant!
Sometimes you just gotta do stuff cause it works for the family and not make a huge deal of out "is this going to be scarring for life"! LOL

[TXmom]

We've moved twice - both times at Christmas break. Yes, it's difficult for the kids, but the younger they are, the better. Once they're up in middle school like my ds was when we moved down here, it's very tough on them. Puberty is hard enough! One thing that I did for the boys this time was to have a moving party. I rented the skating rink and had one big party for all three boys. I put on the invitations that we'd be making memory books for them, and if the kids had anything they wanted to contribute, they could bring it that night. Girls are better at this than guys, so it might be a good thing for your dd's friends to do. Really though, she'll be fine in a short time. Good luck - I know how much ya'll want dh out of the military!

[Lynda-WA]

DS is in his third school for fourth grade. He'll be in a 4th school for 5th grade. He is the quite, shy, smart one I mentioned in the preschool help post. Besides that he moved a couple of times prior to K. Only one of the moves was mid-year though. He was in 1st. He didn't really have any noticable problems but things were so hectic at home (we moved 6 months later when we bought a house) that I may not have noticed. Or he just didn't have time to dwell on it either. He did lose his best friend from the first school and didn't make a best friend at the second. He started the third school at the beginning of a new year (2nd grade) and made a new best friend. Then the district reorganized and his new best friend was sent to another school. Now he has a couple of good friends but not one he calls a *best* friend. And he has a girl-friend (at least his version of a girl-friend) and isn't too thrilled at the prospect of moving yet again. I asked because he hadn't said anything about his feelings over moving. DH will be commuting 3 hours a day so the kids don't have to change schools mid year for this move. BTW he's on his --9th-- teacher and only in the 4th grade!!

DD doesn't really care. I don't think she understands that she won't be seeing her old friends again though. Like your DD, ours is a very social kid so I don't expect any problems.

From my stand point the biggest problem was acedemics. When DS started his second school in 1st grade he could muddle his way through Harry Potter. Generally he was reading books rated at 2nd and 3rd grade comfortably. His new school was using the exact same reading program as his old one and when I gave his new teacher a copy she commented on how far ahead his old school was in the series. She still had DS read all of the little books that came with the series. A little frustrating since those books had one or two words per page! Luckily she let him take home a couple a night and read them to me. I didn't complain because I figured at that age it wouldn't hurt him to review what he already knew and read way below level.

Another problem - the child gets placed in the class that has the least number of kids. None of this supposed matching the child's needs to the teacher. They didn't even look at his academic records just said *Oh this class has the least children, we'll put him there*.

If I could avoid moving the kids, I would (like DH commuting 3 hours daily for the next 3 months) . But I agree with what AnnW says. If its better to keep the family together as a whole.

[Marla]

What are your choices if you don't switch schools?

[Amy]

Originally posted by Marla
What are your choices if you don't switch schools?

We stay in Colorado vs. moving back to NY.

[RCT]

IMO....that said....I hear children adjust better to changing school when they are younger....if that helps....as for your moving without you and the kids...don't....we did that so ds could start Kindergarden when we bought this place....and dh stayed in New Jersey...even though it was only a 5 hour drive to us...it was hard on DS, who wanted to share everyday experiences with his daddy....again this is just my opinion....move together....:heart:

[Cathy]

Aside from the fact that I'm looking forward to having you for a neighbor........LOL

Your dd has already shown that she is pretty resilient, by the fact that she has adjusted (with your help) to having Daddy go away for long periods, and then to having him home. Your whole family has adjusted to change....
I agree that moving is somewhat easier on younger children. I think it's because they still have family as their primary focus. When they are older and shift to a peer-based, activity filled, social person, it's tougher. JMHO