Trust

[Dena]

Living away from my husband I guess is getting the best of me, when he doesn't call or act like he misses me I get really depressed. I guess I shouldn't be worried but I am. I am trying to stay busy, but I wish I could test his loylaity to me. He has never been unfaithful to me, and in fact when we are together he doesn't want me to doubt him. Has anyone else out there lived apart from their hubbie a while? If so... am I normal to be feeling this way? He has always needed me, but now I feel like I am not that important to him, I guess he could be doing this so he can manage to get though. Help!!!

[Diane]

I personally have never lived apart from dh except for when he was out of town for a week... and I went totally CRAZY without him. As far as him cheating on me... he had never givin me a reason to think he would, so I didn't worry about it. That... and I KNOW him SOOOOO well. If he ever HAD done something, I'd know it the second I looked at him. (and he knew it) LOL

When I was little it seemed like my dad was always getting sent out of town to do a job... and I remember my mom feeling exactly the way you are. He never seemed to call when she thought he should be or as often as she thought he should... and that made her feel terribly insecure. Here to find out he was working overtime so he could get the job done earlier so he could come back home... because he missed everybody so much. My dad was never one to show his feelings or admit anything... but every time he came home you could tell just how happy he was to be back home.

If your dh hasn't ever given you a reason to doubt him, then DON'T. Thinking things like this will do nothing drive YOU crazy... and hurt him if he knew you were doubting his trust. Until he gives you a GOOD reason not to trust him... then don't worry about it. When he's got somebody as good as you at home waiting for him, why would he? He will ALWAYS need you... just as you need him. I'm sure that he's probably just as miserable as you are. :)

When my dad was away I remember my mom keeping herself busy by cleaning house... top to bottom. I mean to say that by the time he came home there was not one speck of dust anywhere. LOL That and she did more with us kids during that time too. Lots of board games! LOL Hang in there though... I'm sure everything will be just fine. :)



[Edited by Diane P. on 03-18-2001 at 07:42 PM]

[Dena]

Thank you for your sweet comments! I think I am just feeling insecure!

[Leigh]

My dh and I lived apart for a little over six months before. It is hard. I never thought that he called as often as he should, but like Diane P. said about her father he was often some place where he couldn't call.I was scared to do anything outside of the house for fear that I would miss his calls, so after work, I would stay home and read or something. It was one of the most miserable times in my life. I also agree with DianeP. in if he has never given you a reason not to trust him then you shouldn't worry. I hope everything turns out okay, and hang in there.

[Mickey]

Very reassuring post, Diane!

Dh and I will be living apart starting April 2 and I'm absolutely sick about it to be honest. He'll be home as much as he can, (we're hoping for 15 days there and 5 days home) but he has so much work to do and this contract could go on until December. Not very nice. He's not happy about it either, but there's no way around it.

Can't offer any advice, Dena, but I do sympathize with you.

[RCT]

I too have no advice, but have been through the separtation for business and moving purposes, and its hard, and I think it plays tricks on our minds....my dh would have the feeling that I didn't need him and I was moving on with life without him....he was scared and lonely, so remember that your husband loves you and this will be over soon, you'll be back on track and in the same house...LOL....hang in there sweetie.