Leave the kids alone at what age?

[Lynda-WA]

This is something DH and I have been discussing lately since I will be going back to work soon. We'd like to avoid day care costs especially since with his rotating shift chances are one of us will usually be at home. Ann's post about letting her DS stay at home after school for a short time reminded me to post since her DS is slightly older then mine.

What age did/ will you start leaving your child come home alone for a couple of hours (no other kids)?

What age did/ will you let your children babysit younger siblings for a couple of hours during the day? At night? Others children?

Do you know if your state has a legal age when children can start babysitting?

I think the legal babysitting age in WA is 11. We have left DS (10) home alone for short times without DD (6). DS is a very mature 10. DD is an average 6. We are thinking about letting DS come home after school for short times depending on our work scheduals when I start working. DD has never been left only with DS however when DH works nights we're going to let DS *babysit* DD while DH sleeps.

A girl in DS's class lives down the street. She is frequently allowed home alone and/or with her 7 yr old sister. She's also mature for her age. The 3 yr old brother goes across the street to the babysitters. The children across the street have never been left alone (7, 8, 12). They have been babysat by a cousin that doesn't look much older then the 12 yr old. The 8 yr old is all boy though! And he may listen to his cousin better then his 12 yr old sister.

My SIL debated having her 12 yr old watch her 2 yr old on occasion. She tested the 12 yr old by having her watch the younger one while my SIL did barn work. She found that everytime she came in the house the 12 yr old was glued to the TV. And my 12 yr old is a mature girl otherwise.

[Marla]

This is a topic that is brought up in my house all the time. I have a very mature and responsible ds (10 in Sept.) and an average younger ds (will be 7 in July).

Oldest ds would love the opportunity to stay home alone...feels he is responsibile enough. We've discussed what to do if someone comes to the door, if someone phones and asks to speak to his mom or dad, and if there is a fire. A neighbour down the street lets her daughter (same age) stay home alone quite often....after school, early evening (for about an hour at a time).

The longest I've left him his about 5 minutes just to run down the street (and my cell phone is on the entire time).

Not quite sure if I'm ready (or if he really is) to be alone for a long period of time.

What about playing outside? Do you let your kids play outside (in the front of the house) without supervision? Go bike riding without supervision? One of oldest ds's friends came by on the weekend (with 3 other kids) on their bikes...no adults though. He had a walkie talkie and was communicating with his mom (at home) every couple of minutes...telling her what street he was on, which direction, no stopping, right at friends house etc. I thought that was a good idea for giving some independence slowly.

[AnnW]

My kids are up and down the street all the time without supervision.
We let ds start staying at home alone when he was 10, but dd then 6 would be with me. When he was 11, I would let him watch her while I ran a quick errand if she wanted to stay home. Most of the time she really doesn't want to stay with him though! LOL We have told him he doesn't get paid if he is mean to her. We let him start babysitting at 12. Most of the time it's only till 11 at the latest and we are either home if he is babysitting some one's else's kids or we aren't far from home if he is watching dd. I get a sitter if we are going to be dowtown at the theater or ballgame.
BUT, he and a friend babysat for a good friend of mine not too long ago and they were out of pocket for a while and didn't get home till 1. I am still not sure how I felt about that, but ds made a HUGE point to tell me "see Mom, I can handle it!!!!" LOL

[BevJ]

Our ds is 11 and since September he's been coming home from school alone for approx. 1/2 hour each day. He'll also stay home alone sometimes if we have an errand to do and he doesn't want to come, but that's for periods of an hour or shorter. When he comes home after school, he's allowed to have a friend with him. For the last couple of weeks while I've been finishing up at work, he's been staying home alone in the a.m.'s for about 20 minutes to 1/2 hour before he leaves for school.

[Diane]

My oldest dd started babysitting her sister when she was 11. We'd take dd #3 along with us because I wanted her to start out slow by being able to focus all of her attention on only one child and not overwhelming her with too many right away. 8o After we saw how well she was doing we started leaving her with her for longer periods of time... and eventually added dd #3.

When she was 11-1/2 a lot of my daycare parents started asking if she could babysit for them. They usually didn't live that far away and I always made it a point to be home... just in case she ever needed any help. She never did. :) I was very reluctant the first time she was asked to babysit for an infant... even though she had a lot of experience helping me with them, she had really never even changed a diaper. I remember how she came home beaming because she had changed her first diaper. 8o Later on when I talked with the mom of the baby she had sat for... and she told me what a wonderful job dd had done... but she had put the diaper on backwards... :biglaugh: I'll also never forget how every time she was leaving to sit for a child who was still in diapers... she'd verbally be hoping that they wouldn't pick "THIS" time to do their job. Well... eventually it did happen and all I could do was laugh when she came home going on and on about how disgusting it was. LOL Kids...

Our first babysitter that we got for our kids was 11 years old and she lived right next door to us. She was absolutely WONDERFUL. She'd always bring different things for the kids to play with while she was here... and she always played with them. They loved it when Kara would come over to play with them, even though it didn't happen that often. One time she couldn't sit on the night we needed her so we ended up getting an older (13) neighbor girl. She was just AWFUL! 8o She wouldn't play with them or read them a story... and she hated cats, which we had 3 of. The kids said she was hitting/kicking the cats and wasn't very nice. Well... we never got her again. Goes to show that age isn't everything... some younger kids can do a much better job than some of the older ones.

Anyway... I think whether a child is old enough to stay home and take care of him or herself doesn't totally depend upon their age but also their maturity. I once had a lady calling me looking for daycare for her l3 year old son... 8o She told me that there was NO WAY she would trust him at home by himself.. but she was allowing her 11 year old stay home by himself. 8o This told me that I was going to have nothing but trouble with this l3 year old and I wouldn't even set up an interview. 8o Some kids are ready and some just aren't... they're all different. :)

Diane... :wave:

[Koala]

My oldest dd is 11 1/2 and I would not even think of leaving her by herself for any length of time right now. She is very immature and has other underlying problems (ADHD) She dosent get along too well with our other 2 kids, and is always trying to "get away" with doing things that she knows are not allowed. Our 2nd dd is 8 and is becoming quite mature. I probably wont let her stay alone until she is 11 or 12 though.

[PamE]

Out here a child has to be 12 before they can be left alone, legally. So that takes it out of my hands for a couple more years, for dd! :D I think I was about 12 the first time I was left alone in the evening. I think I came home from school to an empty house sometimes though, when Mom was working. I really think dd could do it now (she'll be 11 in September) but I part of reason is that our inlaws live behind us and my mom lives across the street! :lol: Backup!

[Ryleigh]

I think here it is at age 12 a child may be left at home for short periods of time alone, and in charge of others once they are 14.
I know of several that are much younger than this in both situations.
dd just turned 10. I may leave her for a 1/2 hour but even then would hesitate. She is not very mature for her age. She would never stand for being alone anyway.... she panics even going for a sleepover at a friends place.