Im not handling this well....

[Amy]

I just came back from dropping dh off at work to go to Kosovo. I really thought I would be handling this much better, but Im a wreck. I feel so overwhelmed with the length of time he will be gone and the fact that I am now the Mommy/Daddy/entertainer/maintence man etc.. I can't stop crying and Im starting to irk myself because my kids need me to be stronger than this. They are depending on me to make this ok. Dd broke down crying last night because I think she realized this is "it" and that just made me lose it. Im sure it will get better as time moves on and need to quit this now because I have to go run a staff meeting. Thanks for letting me vent some of this sadness!

[TXmom]

Hang in there sweetie and just take it one day at a time!

[RCT]

its going to be alright, I wish I was there to give you a hug....come here and vent anytime....people are here to listen to ya....{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

[angie r]

I am so sorry! How long is he gone for? (((((Amy)))))

[AnnW]

Your dh JUST LEFT and you are upset and can't get it together??? For goodness sake..if you didn't have this reaction I would be all over you!!!! Now, if you are still like this in a couple of months we will come smack you around! LOL BUT for heavens sake, of course you are feeling overwhelmed..he just left!!!!!!!!!!!
ok..lecture over! LOL

Bless your heart! Hang in there sweetie! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!
First off, did you look into hiring a maid or mother's helper so you can take care of yourself too? They have child care at your health club don't they..be sure to keep going. If you take care of yourself, you will be able to take care of those kiddies!


[Edited by AnnW on 03-27-2001 at 10:38 AM]

[KarlaB]

Hang in there and lean on us to help you through this!! Hopefully the time will go fast!!

[Leigh]

Hang in there and just think he'll be out of the military soon! If you need anything come here. You can count on us.
I hope that you feel better soon though. I know those first few days are really tough, and then by the time you are in a routine with him gone, he'll be back. That is always the way it goes here.

[Amy2]

Amy, hang in there darln'!
Ann W is right on. Be sure to get yourself some help. It is so hard to try to do everything alone.
Years ago when I was in a long distance relationship, I read a book called 'How to Stay Together When You Have to be Apart.' I hardly rember it now, but at the time it was really helpful to me. Might be useful to you.
Personally, I think that it's perfectly fine to talk with your children about your sadness. "Yes, I just miss daddy so much, and sometimes I get afraid because I'm doing all the stuff by myself" and such. You can add "But I am so lucky I have such great kids that I love so much, you make my heart feel better!" This is real. It's life, and you have an opportunity to teach them about dealing with this as you yourself are learning.
Be nice to yourself. It WILL get easier. Love to you. Amy

[Amy]

Thanks everyone!!!!! It really helps that you all are here. I don't what make me want to cry more, not having dh around or having dd be an angel to try and help me out.

My (nice) neighbor invited me over with a get together with her friends and kids. That helped a lot and my kids had fun and I got to talk with some other nice Moms. I got overwhelmed feeling there explaining to them about dh and his deployment and my neighbor was about to break open a bottle of wine at 10am to help calm things down. LOL Once I get into a schedule, things will get better, but right now I feel incredibly alone. the house is spotless already and I hate being home because I can feel the emptiness here. Gosh, I hate being like this. Im stronger than this!

I will look into a Mother's helper. Im just trying to think of what I would do with myself if I had the time alone. Can't think past my nose right now. LOL

Thank you again...

ps.. dh comes home in the second week of August. I wish JAK was online, I could really use her take on this.

[Ryleigh]

Hang in there Amy. You'll get through this. Saying good-bye is always the hard part.
dd is reading this over my shoulder and says" Oh Mommy, that poor lady needs a hug" so sending you one from us both.
{{{HUG}}}} from Skylar {{{HUG}}} from me. Take care. :)

[Rae]

Hang in there Amy! I won't pretend to imagine what you're going through...just know you have lots of friends who care and are here for you in spirit anyway :) Hopefully JAK will be back online soon to help, too. As the days pass, hopefully you'll adjust some.... ((((AmyCO))))

PS - would it help if I talked baseball??? LOL

[darlene]

Hi Amy. You are welcome to come visit me and help with spring cleaning! LOL Believe me, I could keep you busy till August!
Hang in there and come visit with us all the time.
((((Amy)))
:)

[beth c]

Hang in there babe!! We are here to listen anytime-don't forget that is what friends are for. {{{{{Amy}}}}}

[Diane]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this Amy... but you ARE strong and you will get through this. Just know that we are always here for you if you need us. Hang in there!!! :) {{{{AMY}}}}

[AnnW]

Originally posted by Amy/CO
my neighbor was about to break open a bottle of wine at 10am to help calm things down. LOL


btw...Wine at 10am is a little pathetic, but a BLOODY MARY or MIMOSA is just fine!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

[Amy]

You should have seen me.. I WAS pathetic enough for wine! LOL

Im doing a little better each day. I realized I can't change the situation, only my reaction and actins towards it. One minute I think I can really do this with some sanity and then dd will exhaust me with her never ending quest for my attention. Im trying to teach her that now that Daddy is gone, I have to clean, cook, pay bills, laundry, take care of the animals needs and her brother's needs. Bless ds's heart. He has just been doing his own thing all morning and I feel guilty about not giving him some alone time and feel like a failure because I can't give dd enough. Somewhere down the line Im struggling to get my own time in to take care of me, but dd will interrupt every 15 minutes to see if my alone time is over yet. LOL

In order for me to survive, things have to change and dd know this and I know this is new to her too, so it will take time.

Thanks again all!!!

[AnnW]

sweetie....lower your expecations to reality!!! LOL you are NOT super woman...your kids will not start torturing small animals or grow up to be mass murderers if you pay the bills rather than play with them...now, if you neglect them to clean toilets that's an entirely different matter!!!! LOL

Glad to hear you are getting stronger each day. Start setting up play dates for your dd.