Bedtime Problems..Please Help?

[Nicqui]

I don't know if this is the right board but I hope someone can give me some good advise. I have a 4 year old that is about to turn 5. The problem is, is that every day last week I would do his normal bedtime routine..story, prayers..and then once I turned the light off he keeps getting up saying he's scared. I ask him what he's scared of and he seems to make things up. I know as a child I was scared too, but my son just won't sleep lately. He's up constantly, he won't stay in bed. That went on for a few days last week and then I didn't know what else to do so I left the light on in his room until he fell asleep. Once he fell asleep I turned it off. That was okay with him the first time. But then the next night I left the light on and then turned it off when he fell asleep but he kept waking up and insisting I put the light back on. This went on for hours one night. I got tired of getting up and turning the light on and off and I told him to go to bed and get some sleep. Well he cried, screamed, kept getting up. This kept the whole house up the entire time. No one got sleep. Finally he fell asleep after hours of screaming and crying. I just don't know what to do. He doesn't listen. I tried staying in there and telling him there is nothing to worry about. He has a nightlight and I leave a bathroom light on. I just don't think it's healthy to keep a regular light on all night long. He has never had these problems before. The only thing I can figure is that he goes to his dad's house and someone sleeps with him the whole time. Because he started this the last time he came back from there. It really bothers me that he has done so well in his room and now his routine is messed up. Please help with some advice????

Thanks :)

[Amy]

My dd went through this stage. She would get up in the middle of the night and come into our room. We bought her a stuffed bear that when you squeezed it, it turned on a night light across the room. The bear was the remote control for the night light. For the life of me I can't remember the name of it, but I got it from Toys'R'Us. So when he gets afraid at night, he can squeeze the bear and it will turn on the light. But, after 5 minutes, it will turn off again. Dd loved the power of being able to turn him on when she was afraid.

wait!! I think it was called Hugga Bear!

[vea29]

I don't know for sure but it seems to me that the night lights are not really bright enough. and they sometimes cast shadows. Maybe you can try a small lamp with a low watt bulb that he can leave on all night. The other thing I thought of is possible noise. With the weather change you might have the windows open and he may be hearing things from outside. If that is the case is hardto fix. I am only listing the things that bother me. I am an extremally light sleeper and I often wake in a fright for no appearant reason. I found sleeping with my tv on most of the night helps. Good Luck.

[AnnW]

Why isn't it healthy to sleep with the light on? ?(
His fears are very real to him even if they seem made up, if sleeping with the light on helps him, why not?

[Mickey]

Love the bear idea, Amy!

I agree with Ann on this.

Ds has one of those little "welcome lamps" in his room (with a 15-watt bulb and cranberry-coloured shade) and it's just right. Not bright enough to keep him awake or wake him after he falls asleep, but enough to see everything in a warm light if he wakes up.

[imamama]

Sleeping with a night light isn't recommended for young children whose eyes are still developing. Can't remember the exact age, but I'm pretty sure it was until 2-3. After that, the chances decrease (a study showed it caused near-sightedness). I stopped using a night light for dd after reading that, but started again around 3 1/2. It makes her feel better. I actually got her a string of heart shaped lights and hung them on the wall over her headboard. Most of the time, they do the trick, but every now and then she wants a lamp left on... I saw no prob. I slept with the lights on until I was around 12-13! I was always very scared at night. Fortunately, dd isn't scared of monsters, it's bad dreams that she's afraid will come. So, when she has a flare up, I have this noise stick that I wave around the room and say a silly little chant and that eases her fears! She always sleeps all night when I do that!

Add a little something to the bedtime routine to make him feel at ease. Ask him what his fears are and what will help make them go away. It may be simply watching you check the closet, under the bed, etc. If it's that important to him to have a light on, go for it!
Good luck!

Amy, what a cute idea! Never seen/heard of those! :D