Bad Language Around Children

[ChildrensLib]

I need advice. I am in a hot agrument with my family members. They see no need to watch their language in front of my 5 year old nephew. His picks up on bad words and he does repeat them. I see very few reasons why foul language should be used in the first place and especially in front of children. I feel we are setting a bad example and it will cause behavior problems in the future. My family thinks there are better things to worry about and a few bad words will not hurt my nephew. The problem is that they will say anything, bad language and even bring up adult subjects, in front of him all the time, not just once in awhile.
He is not my child, so they say it is none of my business. What do you think?

[Cathy]

I totally agree with you. I hate when people do that. But, getting them to change their minds/habits is another story. You might point out that:
1. Kids will use that kind of language to anyone, because that's how they think people talk. (Teachers, bosses, and most grandparents do NOT think it's cute!!)

2. Kids will tell anything they've heard at home to anyone they meet. (Again including teachers and strangers on the street... Do your family members want their personal lives displayed for the general public?)

3. Kids will put together information that they don't understand with what they know. What they come up with can be scary for them and for us. (My daughter overheard a discussion about my sister being upset... ("I'm so worried about her--her heart is broken.") and asked me 3 days later if my sister was going to die--because she thought I meant a heart attack. It was a good question, but she worried for 3 days!!!

[JeannieOR]

I think you are right of course. Your kind of in a bind though because you not the Mom. Maybe Mom will change her mind when her kid ends up in detention at school.

I have been known to sware occasionally, but on those rare occasions that I do so in front of a child I appolgise to them and explain that those words would certainly get them into trouble in school. As a child sees it, it's not fare for them to be forbiden for using certain language when adults are allowed to.

[Mickey]

I'm with you on this one, too. Cathy made some excellent points. (Interesting about the heart comment, Cathy, as we just went through that here!)

I don't think you should ever swear in front of children and I only slip and say "damn" on a very rare occasion. When I do slip, my ds gasps and tells me that I shouldn't use that word. I agree and tell him that I should have come up with a better word to use.

I tell him that intelligent people use nicer words to communicate--that it's easy to blurt out a swear word, but takes more thought to use better words to express yourself. Only problem is when someone swears in public and ds says, "Mom, he's not very intelligent, is he?" LOL!

I have a friend who swears all the time and her view is that there are some things that are OK for adults--swearing, smoking, drinking, sex--that are not OK for kids and that's how she explains it to her dd. She tells her dd that it's a grown-up word and when she's 37, she can say that word if she wants, too. I totally disagree with that and she respects that and makes an effort not to swear when she's around us (which isn't very often).

It is tough since we're not talking about your child, but I understand your passion about it. Maybe if you just print out this thread and give it to them, it would help them to see a different perspective?

[MaryL]

This is one of my biggest pet peeves! I just don't care for swearing! I always explain to my dks that they might hear non-family words, and that's fine, but they are not words that we use in our family. There are millions of better word choices!:) It's unfortunate that some of the "swear" words are now used so commonly that a child can watch a show during early prime time hours, and hear them in a sit-com. Very frustrating! I'd rather my dks watched a little "Power Rangers"...(violence?) than be exposed to a show with cursing in it. JMO. (Being a Kindergarten teacher, I'm very careful about my language...all of the time. There isn't an excuse for an adult to "slip up" and swear in front of a child in a classroom. Actually, I don't allow "shut up", "dumb", or "stupid" to be used in my home or classroom either. At home, we simply say that they aren't "family words" even though other kids are allowed to use them.

[Mickey]

Originally posted by MaryL
...Actually, I don't allow "shut up", "dumb", or "stupid" to be used in my home or classroom either...

Same here. Feel the same way about "hate", too. And the "f" word for passing gas is one that ds doesn't even KNOW! That word makes me cringe!

[Cathy]

Originally posted by Mickey


Same here. Feel the same way about "hate", too. And the "f" word for passing gas is one that ds doesn't even KNOW! That word makes me cringe!

"flatulate"??? LOL

[AnnW]

Mick, I tell my kids that about cussing too. "they just don't have the intelligence to think of the correct word so they resort to that".

[kat]

The boundaries for kids have gone from blurred to non-existant. I hear foul langage from 5 year olds on a regular basis and they are told in no uncertain terms that it is not acceptable to talk that way, but what do you do when parents think nothing of it. I'm teaching pre-K thru 1st at summer school and just today one of the pre-K kids called another girl a b*&#@. I've got kids who regularly watch the Osbourns. Totally unacceptable for these kids.