View Full Version : Do you or would you socialize with dh's boss?
Since we have moved back we have been spending alot of time with dh's boss and thier entire family....we get along great and remember dh has been with this company for 16 + years...its a small family business....anyway....my Aunt and my Father have both made interesting comments about not getting to close to the "BOSS" because it can cause problems? what do you all think...last night the bosses wife and I met at COSCO to do some shopping....we have also been invited to thier house this weekend for BBQ.....I really enjoy spending time with them.....so I am curious as to know am I niave or is this a NOT COMMON thing?
Typically the rule is not to mix business with pleasure. If something were to happen that would effect your friendship with them, then it automatically effects your business with them. How they view you in private, carries over to their thought of you professionally.
I'm not saying this will happen to you and its nice to have a friendly face, but try not to make them your confidants. Too much info is not always good.
MaryL
08-02-2002, 01:09 PM
We don't live in the same town/state as Dh's "boss". So we rarely have the opportunity to be with them. (Kind of nervewrecking when we do, though!! IE: Christmas Party, etc) LOL Here in town, Dh is the boss...and we really don't socialize with any of his employees. We do go to weddings, annual cook-out, etc...but I can't say that I've been shopping with any of the wives, or anything.
Leigh
08-02-2002, 03:57 PM
When dh was in the army, I was friends with the LT's wife, and even went shopping with her, dh's commander, and I later found out some other higher up's wife. Being with dh's commander and the other lady kind of made me feel uncomfortable and like I had to be on my toes, but I enjoyed being with the LT's wife. We don't hang out with his boss now though.
BTW Are you having fun in CA yet Renee?
Having as much fun as I can...;) been crazy here, but with school starting next week...things should settle down...;)
Linda/NE
08-02-2002, 06:33 PM
About the only bosses of Dh that we socialized with were my folks and my brother. I always felt uncomfortable around the bosses' wives too.
I've heard of friends working together and it ended up hurting their relationship. Since you have known them for so long you probably won't have any major problems. I would think you would have encountered problems long before now.
KarlaB
08-02-2002, 08:07 PM
We don't. He has been at a few gatherings we have been at and he is very nice, but still more professional acting in those settings.
Marla
08-03-2002, 06:46 AM
Dh has had his own business for years, so I am not sure what I would do.
Originally posted by Linda/NE
Since you have known them for so long you probably won't have any major problems. I would think you would have encountered problems long before now.
Thanks, Linda...I was wondering why we were having such a good time with them....we have known them for a long time...met at thier house...our daughter is named after the bosses wifes sister....because I have known them before I met dh....
its strange, we aren't intimate with them...but then again we have had some interesting conversations....we went out with them last night spur of the moment and had a great time.....it was us, them and another couple....it was great to feel like we are home again....:)
Mickey
08-04-2002, 12:39 AM
I agree that, generally speaking, you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, but it sounds like you have it under control, Renee. While you've known them for a long time, have you ever lived near and socialized with them this much in the past?
Dh has become friends with two of his bosses in the past (different companies) and they're still friends now, but no longer work together. That worked out OK for them, but we didn't socialize on a regular basis as families. As a business owner, dh has hired (and fired) a friend and he will never do that again. He is friendly with the people who work for us, but we don't socialize with any of them on a regular basis either.
Originally posted by Mickey
I agree that, generally speaking, you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, but it sounds like you have it under control, Renee. While you've known them for a long time, have you ever lived near and socialized with them this much in the past?
yeah, we used to do lots of stuff with them before we moved East to run the East coast division...the President (second in command) was dh's best man at our wedding...so we are and have always been kinda a socializing group...but that is it...the three couple and then it stops....
we also still know where our bread is buttered.....;)
thanks for your input all of you...:)
Hell yea...your boss is calling you to do stuff, you do it! You don't say no! LOL ;)
We have had social relationships with our bosses, just remember he's the boss.
Diane
08-05-2002, 11:34 AM
In the past I've become extremely good friends with some of the people that I've done day care for... and I learned the hard way that it's not always a good idea. With some... it's worked out fine, while a few other's have tried taking advantage of our friendship. They assume that because we are friends... any and everything goes, and all will still be okay with me. Well... it's not! 8o That's when having these people for friends can be very difficult. They assume I won't/do or say anything because they ARE a friend, whille I'm left feeling bad because I'm thinking that a REAL friend would never do this to me. When I DO say something... they are left feeling insulted because I'm treating them like everyone else... (when they are suppose to be special... because they're a friend) and I'm left feeling like I'm being walked all over and taken advantage of. Something like this can definitely end a good friendship... Also... when you socialize with work people (dh's or you'rs) sometimes you see/hear SO much more than you should or want to. Sometimes some of the things you find out aren't always GOOD things... and you find yourself loosing a lot of respect for them.... both as a person/friend and as a boss/client.
Just always remember that they are your dh's bosses first... and a friend second... no matter how good of a friend you feel they are. Never tell them anything too personal... or it may come back to haunt you. LOL They sound like very nice people... and I hoipe that your friendship will continue to be as good as it has been, without any kind of issues. :) It sounds like you're enjoying your new home. :)
Diane... :wave:
Originally posted by AnnW
Hell yea...your boss is calling you to do stuff, you do it! You don't say no! LOL ;)
LOL ;) exactly....and we don't forget who signs the check...:)
lindaM
08-05-2002, 05:39 PM
Well we socialize with my future boss all the time. We went on vacation to NH with them in June and we are going to Maine for a weekend trip in September with them. They come over all the time and we watch each others kids. So I guess it just depends.
Lynda-WA
08-06-2002, 01:41 AM
Yes, we always have. Both with my bosses and with DH's. Not all of them but plenty. Not the sharing confidences kind of friends but the kind were you go to each others houses for the superbowl, 4th of July and such. It's never been a problem since we aren't the type to want special favors or anything remotely like that. The only time I felt odd was when DH became friends with some of the higher ups on base when I was military. Really odd when they would stand around in the club chatting and drinking and I was calling them Sir. I just stayed away from them then.
We do socialize together. Boss's wife is also a teacher. I did request though that when oldest ds was going into her grade that he not be placed in her classroom because I had gone several rounds with his teacher the previous year and certainly did not want to risk having something like that happen with the boss's wife.
Originally posted by kat
We do socialize together. Boss's wife is also a teacher. I did request though that when oldest ds was going into her grade that he not be placed in her classroom because I had gone several rounds with his teacher the previous year and certainly did not want to risk having something like that happen with the boss's wife.
Good thinking on your part Kat.....glad to hear I am not abnormal for enjoying thier company....hey its not like I am hounding them....they call us as much if not more that I call them....:lol: we are just having a great time together...8)
Originally posted by RCT
...glad to hear I am not abnormal for enjoying thier company....hey its not like I am hounding them....they call us as much if not more that I call them....:lol: we are just having a great time together...8)
so why are you letting your dad's comments get to you???? ;)
Cathy
08-07-2002, 11:02 AM
Renee, I don't think there's any problem. You and dh know where the line is. You're both professional enough to separate personal from work. It's silly IMHO to apply a blanket proclamation..."I won't be friends with my boss". Hey, friends are hard to find. I'm glad you're having fun. Your kids are going to settle right in. They are so enthusiastic about things. They'll forget all about CNY. :(
(It's good that you'll remember, though. It'll only make you appreciate CA all the more!)
Originally posted by AnnW
so why are you letting your dad's comments get to you???? ;)
:lol: cuz he is my DAD....:lol:
not letting it stop me though....have a play date again tonight, with the bosses wife....;)
Diane
08-07-2002, 12:29 PM
Originally posted by RCT
:lol: cuz he is my DAD....:lol:
not letting it stop me though....have a play date again tonight, with the bosses wife....;)
Isn't it funny that, no matter how old we are we still let what our parents think/say bother us? LOL
Have a good time Renee... and don't worry about what anyone else thinks or say's. I'm sure you know better than anyone if it's a good idea or not. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun together with them so... go ahead and keep having fun!!! If you've known each other this long and have had no issues... than the chances are you never will. :) Enjoy your play date tonight... :)
Diane... :wave:
Originally posted by Diane P.
Isn't it funny that, no matter how old we are we still let what our parents think/say bother us? LOL
Have a good time Renee... and don't worry about what anyone else thinks or say's. I'm sure you know better than anyone if it's a good idea or not. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun together with them so... go ahead and keep having fun!!! If you've known each other this long and have had no issues... than the chances are you never will. :) Enjoy your play date tonight... :)
Diane... :wave:
it is funny, I am usually ok with my father...but that comment because so one else had also said the thing about not socializing with the boss....kinda got me to thinking and questioning myself...LOL...
still a kid to my dad though...:lol:
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