friends

[lindaM]

My son has made friends with a boy on the bus who is one grade lower than his. This boy is a little different. I know he sees the school psycologist for social problems. I also hear alot of "neighborhood gossip" about things he has done last year. And some moms won't let there kids sit with him on the bus because they are afraid of him. One mom says she heard he brought a knife to school last year. He was in 1st grade and 6 years old. Not sure that this is even true.

Last year he had his own "army" with the kids on the bus. Parents found this very strange. Because he would let kids in his army then the next day they were out. I didn't find it all that strange because his dad is in the Air Force and flies one of the f-16 that fly over our houses quite frequently.

So my question, ds wants him to come play this weekend. And as I write this I am convincing myself I'm foolish to let a bunch of gossipy moms wreck this poor kid he is only 7. And if they are playing at my house then I can watch and see if I see anything to be concerned about. right. right?

[Mickey]

I would HOPE that he wouldn't be allowed to be in school if he were dangerous (had violent tendencies, a serious personality disorder or schizophrenia (when someone hears voices, not multiple personality disorder)). Call the school counselor, tell him/her the situation and express your concern. Ask if s/he can tell you if the knife story is true--not sure that they will, but maybe ask it more generally if they say they can't divulge that information. Ask what happens if a child brings a knife to school (if they are expelled/suspended/if all parents must be notified). Ask "Would you allow your child to interact with this boy?" If he did take a knife to school at age 6, that's definitely something to be concerned about.

If you are comfortable with the info you receive, why don't you and ds meet this boy and his mother at a park or Chuck E. Cheese's at first? Then, if you feel comfortable, have him over for very short play dates and build from there.

All that said--I really think it's most important to go with your gut, Linda.

[vea29]

Wow ...Mikey just said everything I was thinking! I don't see why you can't ;et them play as long as your watching...If he does something that makes you uncomfortable then you don't continue the playdates in the future,

I'm sure we all know about rumors...I would check with the school too...they probably won't give to much info, but they should tell you if you should be concerned.

Good luck!!!