School gripes!!!

[PamE]

I'm so mad I could just spit! (do we have a smilie for that?) Things have been going on at school that I'm not really thrilled about and have been trying to wait till parent/teacher conferences to get most of it all straightened out. When I called to make the appointment this afternoon I was informed that ds's teacher was not going to be there on the only day they had for late appointments, meaning there are no appointments available that dh can also come to. Peachy.

Ds had been struggling horribly keeping up with the math homework that was being sent home each week and I explained that to his teacher. She said she'd just send home work on a few key concepts of the week, instead of giving him the regular assignments. That was a good thing and all went well for the week that she remembered to do so. :\ The following two weeks she sent home the regular assignment. The first week I took his homework folder in to school and asked if that's really what he was supposed to do. She apologised for sending the full assignment and said that she wanted to take him back to nothing but addition until Christmas, which dh and I completely agree with, to give ds time to get it down pat. Now this week again he's got the full assignment with things that he's totally clueless on! :{ Soooo... this morning I sent his homework folder back to school with a note to the teacher asking if the work in his folder was really what she expected him to do, and what spelling words she wanted him to study. Now I'm really pissed because she sent his homework folder back with the same work in it AND NO RESPONSE TO MY NOTE!!!!!!!!!

On top of the math mess he's supposed to have only three out of five of their spelling words each week. That too is about all he can handle/retain. She stopped marking which ones he was supposed to study and he stopped bringing home spelling tests/practice sheets! Come to find out he's suddenly being pulled out to special ed right before they take their tests each day..... which means he has NO spelling at all!!!!!! :banghead: Helllooooooo!!!!!!!

Somebody please tell me again WHY I'm sending him to school? The SE director even wrote me a note, saying that ds is avoiding speech therapy, doing all this stuff to avoid doing the work. Um. Who's in charge here???????? ?( ?( ?(

To top this all off I am so stinkin' hormonal right now it's not even funny! I have five weeks left before my due date and I'm just miserable. If I go in there to talk to his teacher without dh I'll probably either just go off the deep end and rant and rave like a lunatic :crazyroll or I'll burst into tears and not be coherent at all! :bawling: I was depending on dh to do most of the talking and keep me sane and normal!

Thanks for the space to vent and get some of this out of my system before I have to face ds's teacher. She's a really nice lady and I'm sure is a great teacher, I'm just so over protective of ds it's not even funny. :( It's a mess with him and you mess with me type thing and that's a scary concept right now! Mama bear doesn't even come close to how I'm feeling at this point, LOL! I'm sure it'll all work out in the end. I'll keep you posted on what's happening.

[AnnW]

Calm down. Call them back and simply, calmly and FIRMLY explain to them that it is imperative that BOTH you and dh be at the conference and when would be a good time for ya'll to meet.

[KarlaB]

{{{Pam}}} I think your upset and frustrated feelings are justified. Do you think the teacher would meet with you and your dh on a different date so you can both be there? I think it is important for both of you to be there (and not just because you are feeling hormonal :tinysmile ). I do not think you are being over-protective ~ you are his mom and should want (and seek out) the best for him. Do talk to his teacher and voice your concerns. If and when she "forgets" the plan - ask her if she wants a note sent by you, a phone call, an email...or all of the above. :D Good luck and hang in there!! And, let us know what happens!

[Mickey]

I'm so sorry Pam! How frustrating for you!

Just wondering...is there such a thing as "dual enrollment" there? Here, you can home school and enroll your child in certain classes at the ps (i.e., if you can't (or would prefer not to) teach your child a certain subject for whatever reason). Maybe you could send him for speech therapy, P.E., or whatever subjects you think would be good for him and home school him for other subjects with a hs curriculum that you know suits him (???). Just a thought.

In the meantime, I'd do what Ann and Karla suggested and INSIST on a meeting time when you and dh can both be there.

[kat]

Like Ann said, take a breath, step back a minute, and calm down. I see no reason why the teacher would not schedule a conference on another day when both you and your dh could be there. I know I've got 20 fifteen minute time slots and 19 of them filled. That leaves me 15 minutes to eat supper and go to the bathroom. I'd welcome a parent who wanted to conference on another day.

I'm really pissed because she sent his homework folder back with the same work in it AND NO RESPONSE TO MY NOTE!!!!!!!!! Is it possible that your ds never turned in his homework folder for her to see the note? I know it happens to me all the time. Kids turn in lunch money or notes at the end of the day when they are putting their work in their backpacks to take home. (Oh! Look what I was supposed to turn in this morning!)That's a hectic time of day and I certainly have no time to respond to notes then.

[darlene]

I'd also call the teacher and set up an appointment time that would work for you and dh together.

Good point to Kat...I know ds has come home with notes that I have sent to the teacher on occassion! :\

Let us know how it works out.

:)

[PamE]

I responded last night and my computer lost it! I'm feeling much more rational now. :) Thank goodness! I'm definitely calling back and talking to the teacher for another appointment when dh can be there also.

Something like dual enrollment was offered to us at his IEP meeting in May but with my pregnancy track record (bedrest at 7 months with all three) and the fact that all three kids had colic for six months I figured I'd not have extra resources to give ds the help he needed with school work. That's the main reason we put him back in ps. :(

It's entirely possible that his teacher didn't get the note until day's end, or at all! I'll send another when he turns his homework folder in tomorrow and keep you all posted on what's going on.

[MaryL]

Originally posted by kat
Is it possible that your ds never turned in his homework folder for her to see the note? I know it happens to me all the time. Kids turn in lunch money or notes at the end of the day when they are putting their work in their backpacks to take home. (Oh! Look what I was supposed to turn in this morning!)That's a hectic time of day and I certainly have no time to respond to notes then.

I was thinking the same thing! There are times when I completely intend to respond to a note that a parent puts in a folder...and simply forget :( , or in most cases didn't have a chance to do it. 8o If I find the note after the fact...I try to call the parent at home...but sometimes it has to wait until the next day. During the school day, I have VERY little time to do "paper work" type stuff...which is frustrating to me...and I hope that parents understand that I'm too busy teaching to spend any time at my desk on that day.

It sounds like time to call for a "group" conference (have you had one since school began?) with the SE teacher, any therapists, classroom teacher and Principal...and you and dh, of course. Put all recommendations in writing...(seperate from IEP, of course)...including the teacher's willingness to limit spelling words, her math agenda with your ds, etc. That way you both have "proof" of the intentions being made.

Conference times are NUTS!!!!!!!!!!! I often conference with parents (each family for 15-20 minutes) for 3 hours straight! At the end of that, I'm either running for the bathroom...(gotta go..gotta go....! LOL or dying of thirst!!! LOL) I believe that a regular "conference" on those days set aside for all parents to meet with the teacher should never be the time to discuss HUGE issues. If something major is happening, I want to meet with those parents on a date when I can give them more than a few minutes of "scheduled time".