Fibbing vs. "Kidding"

[Mickey]

My ds is almost 5 and lately he's been fibbing over silly things and then laughing and claiming he was just teasing/joking with me.

For example, the other day I asked him if the dog was in the car and he said, "No!" so I go looking for her and couldn't find her and when I get back to the car, I discover that she was in there with him. I asked him why he lied to me and he starts laughing and says, "I didn't lie, I was just kidding, Mom!" :grimace: Or I tell him to put his shoes on and he does and then I ask him if he has them on and he says, "No!" I tell him again to put them on and he says, "No!" and then I tell him he's not to tell me "no" and he needs to listen to me--then he starts laughing and shows me that he has them on already, claiming he was "just joking and teasing".

I'm sure he gets this "joking and teasing" thing from me because I joke with him--he'll say, "Are we going to the park?" (like we planned) and I'll say, "No...I thought it would be more fun if we put our pants on our heads and run around the neighborhood." And he laughs and thinks I'm silly and I tell him that I was joking and that we are going to the park.

He seems very amused by his "joking", but it's starting to feel like it's crossing over--like he's sometimes testing his boundaries or pushing my buttons.

How do I explain the difference between what he's doing and when I joke with him?

[Amy2]

Well Mickey, I'm just not sure if they really know the difference at this point. My ds will be five next month, and I know he's confused about jokes. He will say "What did the banana say to the rhino? Nothing, banana's can't talk!" because he has heard this and knows it is a "joke" but then he will say "What did the car say to the book? I see you laughing!" or whatever. He doesn't know what is funny. He doesn't "get" the joke part, so he keeps making things up, hoping to hit on something funny. This is why I am wondering if you son just doesn't know the difference.

Maybe you could simply say "are you joking or is the dog really in the car?" and if he then says the dog is in the car when he's not, you'll know that he is fibbing and not "joking" and you can tell him that that bothers you when you are in a hurry and he fibs. THEN you can launch in to the fibbing vs joking discussion. Just a thought. Amy

[Mickey]

Thank you for your reply, Amy!

Ds will be 5 on the 7th of May (your ds' birthday is the 8th, right?) and I agree that he doesn't seem to really understand the difference at this point.

But, I will definitely start asking him, "Are you joking?" and see if that helps. I think I'll also tell him that when you're joking, you admit that you're joking right away...not after someone spends 15 minutes thinking your serious!

Thanks, again!
Mickey

[Amy2]

Micky~

How cool that our boys are the same age! Do you guys have any fun plans for his birthday? We're doing a Scooby Doo party, and I'm already trying to figure out how the heck to do that...

Do you have other children?

Anyway, hope the fibbing/joking thing works itself out soon. That would bug me too!

Amy

[Mickey]

Amy,

He's our one and only! :angel:

Haven't thought about a party theme yet! We did a Chuck E. Cheese party last year. A Blue's Clues theme at home the year before. He does love Scooby Doo, though, so I might try that this year, too! Give the kids "Scooby Snacks" (bake little cookies or something?) and serve really tall sandwiches! ??? I don't know! LOL! Let me know if you come up with some ideas!

Thanks again for the fibbing advice...I'm sure we'll work through it! :)

Mickey

[Amy2]

Mickey~

I love the Scooby snacks idea.

I was thinking of doing some kind of mystery, where the kids get these clues and have to figure something out. (I suppose I'll have to actually WATCH one of the shows to figure this out!) My MIL has this thing you can make on your computer to create iron on patches. I thought of asking all the kids to bring a plain, white t-shirt and doing Scooby shirts. That, and a Scooby cake...I'm on the look out for little silly Scooby toys. We usually have the kids over just before lunch, they play for a while, then lunch, then some kind of game, then cake. It's all very civilized. If you have any more ideas, let me know!

Amy

We did a circus party that was really fun. I did this great circus "cake" that was actually cup cakes made into this incredible carousel. So easy, but really cute!

Another year was Thomas the Tank Engine, but thank god he's getting over that.

[Mickey]

Amy,

The mystery idea sounds interesting! Like the iron on t-shirt idea, too!

Nice idea having the kids for lunch...I usually opt for the 1 to 3 or 4 time frame, but maybe if they ate something more substantial than just cake and ice cream, there wouldn't be any meltdowns! ;)

I'd like to know how to make the carousel cake!

We went out to dinner tonight and I asked ds what kind of party he wanted to have. He couldn't come up with one and I suggested Scooby Doo and he didn't seem too into that idea. He eventually decided that he wants a "Dora the Explorer" party! I've seen it once or twice, but have no clue what I'd do for it. Any ideas???

Mickey

[Amy2]

Mickey,

Sorry to say I have no idea who Dora the Explorer is! Am I missing something big?

Yes, I have found that serving lunch at our parties works out great. It's a wonderful social time for the kids, and I usually do fun stuff, like cut the sandwichs with cookie cutters or whatever. I borrow chairs from ds's preschool, so they are all uniform, sitting around a fun table. For our halloween party we made mac and cheese with spiders on it, plus carrots, and gummy worms crawling on the plate, then had the punch in a big cauldron. It was fun (and killed about 40 minutes!) We read spooky stories while they ate.

I wanted to email you a picture of the Carousel cake, but your email was disconnected from your profile. Anyway, you get the outer part from a cake store. You can probably get it at any cake store. It's just the roof part, plus the horses. You have several cupcakes in a circle, like six or so, these are sitting up on a little platform so it's raised up a couple of inches. Each of the horses are stuck in these. Then you put several more cupcakes around that. You use different colored frosting to make the design, then add candies to connect them. Little gummy circles cut in half, peppermints...it's so hard to describe. I'll find the actual recipie and post it. I wish I knew how to put a picture on here, it was really, really cute!

Amy

[Mickey]

Amy,

The halloween party sounds like fun!

I'd love to see the photo of the cake! I believe all e-mail addresses are disabled here for some reason (not sure why), so here's my address, if you don't mind sending it:

mickeynv@hotmail.com

Thanks!
Mickey

[angie r]

Originally posted by Amy
Sorry to say I have no idea who Dora the Explorer is! Am I missing something big?

Dora is on Nick jr. My kids love it! It is like playing a computer game helping to follow directions to get from one place to another. It also uses some spanish language. Like blues clues, I see my kids talking to the tv to answer the questions.

[KarlaB]

My ds also is into Dora the Explorer - so much that dh and ds named our Explorer Dora! LOL!! He actually only watches it on Saturday morning, so it's a big treat! :)

[Mickey]

Angie, my ds talks to the t.v., too! ;)

LOL! about your Explorer, Karla! Too cute! Ds only watches it on Saturday mornings, too (we don't have cable).

Did a search last night and found a site with some party help--the food ideas weren't overly clever, but there are cute invitations, name tags, goodie bags and party hats you can print off.

http://www.geocities.com/bush281973/dorahome.html

[kathleen]

Hello, ladies. I started reading your posts about fibbing/kidding because we have gone through that with our son (now 6 years old). It seems to be a phase -- and something they learn to tell apart at some point (like one of you mentioned), especiallly when he would see we were becoming disappointed/frustrated with the choices he was making about fibbing/kidding.

I didn't check out the website listed above, but here is one idea for a Dora the Explorer party -- you could make "backpacks" out of brown grocery sacks or paper gift bags. The kids could decorate them with markers, stickers, etc. For party favors you could use small flashlights, magnifying glasses, compasses. For a game you could do a trail hike or something like that -- where the kids (as a group) go from place to place, getting a clue to the next clue each time, to maybe end back at the house for birthday cake or another activity.

Good luck. kathleen

[KarlaB]

Thanks for the link, Mickey and for the idea Kathleen! Ds turns 4 at the end of the month, so I need to get going on a theme. He can't seem to make up his mind, so maybe having Dora as an option will do it! :) Thanks!!

[Mickey]

Thanks for the ideas, Kathleen! I think I will set up a path through the back yard...need to watch Dora next week to get a better idea of how they do it! :)