Update on ds...

[KarlaB]

Last month I posted about problems with my ds and preschool. (After 5 months he was still very apprehensive and I felt like his teacher was making no real effort with the kids...). My dh talked to the teacher one day and then nothing changed, so last week when I dropped him off I went in and talked to the director. I was very upset because I went in the room with ds and after spending 5+ minutes in there he was not acknowledged and I was trying to get the paints ready for him, etc while the two teachers sat and chatted and I was holding ds #2. I told the dir. I was very unhappy and that I didn't think it was expecting too much for the teacher to greet the kids as they arrived or to participate with them in activites rather than just stand by the desk completely uninvolved. When I dropped him off this week she was standing by the door greeting everyone, telling them about new things in the class, asking what they wanted to do, etc. And, in the gym she actually participated rather than just stand and talk to the other teacher. Complete turnaround!! So, I guess speaking up helped, but I still don't think I should have had to ask for those things. I don't want to take him out of the class mid-year, so we will finish out this year and look for other options in the fall. Anyway, I just wanted to give an update and say thanks everyone for your support on this issue when I originally posted it!

[MK]

:D Good! So glad to hear things are improving! The director must have given the teacher a little one-on-one training. You're right, though, that teacher should have been trained to do the proper things before being let loose with the class. It's only good business. I'm only sorry it took this long. :)

[Mickey]

I missed your original post, Karla, but I'm so glad that talking to the director seemed to help! (But, I do agree that she shouldn't have had to do it!)

How old is your ds? Mine is 4 1/2 and he's been in a Montessori school since December and we absolutely love it! If you'd like to consider it, I have links for you to read up on it and I would also suggest starting to look now as there was a waiting list at one of the schools here.

[AnnW]

Hooray!!!! I am glad that teacher got a swift kick in the behind and reminded how to do her job!!! Good for you!!!!

[KarlaB]

Thanks gals!! I hated having to talk to the director, but I feel like we gave the teacher enogh time and we had talked to her a couple times. I know we may not always like our kids teachers in the yrs to come, but I guess I didn't think there'd be issues this early!! Dh is a teacher, so I know what it is like to have unhappy parents. I also know a couple times where parents have gone directly to the principal rather than to the teacher first and that's why I wanted to talk to her first and give her a chance.

Mickey - I'd love some info on Montessori. I know some of our other preschools in town also have waiting lists, so we need to start looking now. Thanks!

[Mickey]

Originally posted by KarlaB
Mickey - I'd love some info on Montessori. I know some of our other preschools in town also have waiting lists, so we need to start looking now. Thanks!

Here's info on the method:
http://www.montessoriconnections.com/aboutmontessorieducation/aboutmontessorieducation.html

Search for a school in your area on this page:
http://www.montessoriconnections.com/schoolsdirectory.shtml

Schools can call themselves Montessori schools and not really be one, so I visit this board and get a lot of feedback and ideas. You can ask quesions or express concerns and they're happy to help you:
http://boards.parentsplace.com/messages/get/ppmontessori8.html

You can e-mail me if you have any other questions:
Mickey@theideabox.com

[KarlaB]

Thanks a lot!!! I really appreciate it!!

[Ryleigh]

Just read your post on the problems you and your ds were having at his pre-school. How sad. I'm glad things are going better for you now! Is your son happier about going to pre-chool now and more settled? It's always hard for the little ones when they first start pre-school but if the teacher doesn't pay any attention to them I can't help.
My little ones were lucky enough to have teachers that greeted them with warm smiles and hugs each day. They often didn't want to leave when it was time to go home.

[KarlaB]

Thanks! He will go to class okay, but he does not participate. i.e. When they go to the gym he stands and watches, which breaks my heart. To me preschool should be SO much fun and I don't want him to get a bad impression of school. :( I don't want his teacher to think I am trying to run her classroom or that my child needs extra attention, but on the other hand I do think she should have more of a connection with these kids. She started making more of an effort actually greeting the kids this week (6 months into the yr), so we'll see if that helps. Thanks again for the kind thoughts!

[Diane]

I'm glad that things are working out better for you. I also agree that you shouldn't have had to go through all this trouble in order to get the teacher to do something she should have been doing in the first place. Also... it's too bad she can't try a little harder to get your ds to participate. When I have a little one who is shy and stands to the side alone, their usually my main focus of attention and I do everything I possibly can to get them involved. I was extremely shy when I was this age also, and I remember being the one standing to the side watching as everybody else played... it was an awful feeling. I hope she continues to improve even more... and your ds starts feeling a lot more comfortable. Best of luck!

[KarlaB]

Thanks! It's nice to get support and feel life I wasn't expecting too much. I don't want him to be the only focus of her attention, but I don't think it would hurt to help him along a little. He is one of the youngest in his class and this is his first year. Some of the kids turned 5 in Sept and they are off with no problem, so maybe she thinks he should be, too. I just hope things get better and that he starts to relax while he is there.

[Diane]

Originally posted by KarlaB
Thanks! It's nice to get support and feel life I wasn't expecting too much. I don't want him to be the only focus of her attention, but I don't think it would hurt to help him along a little. He is one of the youngest in his class and this is his first year. Some of the kids turned 5 in Sept and they are off with no problem, so maybe she thinks he should be, too. I just hope things get better and that he starts to relax while he is there.



When my oldest dd attended kindergarten she was also one of the youngest (and smallest) in her class. It didn't help that she was also very shy. I was very fortunate though because the teacher she had was very observant and did everything she could to get my dd involved with everything that was going on around her. (without being too forceful) It wasn't long before some of the other kids from the classroom started asking her to play... or to be THEIR partner. If it hadn't been for this wonderfully observant teacher, I highly doubt if this ever would have happened. I really appreciated all this teacher did for her... she was truely a GREAT teacher! I was SO pleased when my other two dd's also got her for a kindergarten teacher... Some kids just need that extra little push to get them going. If I were you I'd probably try talking with the teacher and letting her know your concerns... maybe she'll be more willing to help. Good luck!

[Edited by Diane P. on 02-18-2001 at 02:35 PM]

[KarlaB]

There are some really good teachers out there - glad your dd got one! :) I do think I will talk to ds's teacher again this week. Thanks again!

[Diane]

I think that's probably a good idea. Let us know how it goes... I hope he continues to do well. :)

[Leigh]

I am also sorry that your ds had to go through that. At the center where I work, greeting the parents in the morning and sending them off in the afternoon is one of the things that they really stress. I can't understand why that would not be a standard thing to be stressed at all centers. I think that it helps the caregivers to understand the children better too, if the parents start to feel comfortable talking to you in the morning. We had one child that had started acting up recently. One morning I was greeting him when he came in and come to find out his parents were going through a divorce. No wonder the poor kid was acting up, but had I not greeted her, I still would not know.

[KarlaB]

Thanks for the support! I guess I always thought a greeting was a given, so when this teacher doesn't do it I am caught off guard. I do approach her and we have talked about my ds, but she always seems preoccupied no matter when it is. Another mom who's dd is in the same class has also been having some issues with her. It's just frustrating.

[Diane]

I think it's important just to have that little bit of contact with the parent. I once had a parent who always wanted to drop her ds off in my driveway. Besides our interview I never had the opportunity to talk with her. I really never got to know her at all, and she never really got to know me either. I never felt "CONNECTED" to the family. I would think that the parents who were dropping their children off AND the person taking care of the child would WANT to get to know each other a little bit better... especially the parent of the child. I wouldn't feel comfortable just dropping my child off and leaving. If I didn't answer my door with a physical/verbal greeting to the parent AND child each and every morning/evening... I highly doubt if I'd HAVE any kids anymore. Could this teacher be extremely shy where she might feel uncomfortable doing this or??? I couldn't imagine not doing this.

[KarlaB]

ITA! She is a first year teacher, but I just don't get the non greeting or if she is shy why she is in this profession. I don't know if she is intimidated by the parents because she is so young, but I feel like I am very approachable and have always been very nice to her regardless of how I feel. I have also approached her on many occasions just to touch base or whatever. There just doesn't seem to be a connection with her and the kids or parents. I think other parents would also agree, but aren't too concerned because their kids are older and they have no other issues. We'll see how this week goes.

[Diane]

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. :)

[KarlaB]

It's been so nice getting feedback and support from everyone as we work through this! Thanks! :)