confused about what to do

[Angie L]

I spent the day in my sons kindergarten room and I know see what the teacher was telling me about him not being able to pay attention. I had to remind him many times to do his work and quit looking around. He sees his doctor on the 23rd to see if he can give a daignosis. My problem is if medication wil help him settle down and not have problems at school I am all for it but my husband thinks he needs to learn to deal with it and not go on medication. What would you do if this was you. I am at a loss here

[MK]

IF IT WERE ME I would put him on the medication. It's just my opinion, but I think a five year old is too young and immature to "learn to deal with it". In fact, it is more beneficial for him to take responsibility as he grows by eventually learning to manage his own medication, learning when he needs to adjust it, when he needs to take it especially for specific situations, or for more relaxed events when he doesn't feel he needs it. Studies have shown that many kids with undiagnosed or untreated ADD often drop out of school due to frustration and repeated failure, some (not all) even experiment with illegal drugs, finding that they are more able to "focus" when they are high. One theory out there as to the cause of ADD is that there may be a chemical imbalance within the hormones produced by the brain. Medication helps to similate these hormones and make life more optimistic and worthwhile for people who would otherwise be miserable. It's just like any other hormone therapy for those with hormone deficiencies. JMHO. Good luck with your decision. :)

[kat]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Angie L
My problem is if medication wil help him settle down and not have problems at school I am all for it but my husband thinks he needs to learn to deal with it and not go on medication.
Angie, my heart goes out to you! There is alot to consider. Most important is what is best for your son. I understand your husband's feeling about medicating a child to improve behavior. You and your husband might get with his teacher and implement a few behavior management techniques (ie. study corral, shortened assignments, breaking down a whole assignement into smaller managable segments with rewards for each step taken, etc.) Monitor his progress, see if there is any improvement and build on that. If not, then medication may be the answer. You husband needs to see that as a possibility, if other interventions don't work. You two have to be together on this though.
As far as your son needing to learn to "deal with it" that will not be possible for a five year old if he does, in fact, have ADD. If he does have ADD that part of the brain that helps filter out all the other stimulus around him does not work properly and that is why medication is needed to stimulate that part of the brain to do its job. Best of luck to you. Keep us posted.

[Diane]

If the doctor determins that it is ADD, I would most definitely put him on medication. When a child has ADD their is no way he CAN learn how to deal with it... that's what the medication is for. It will help him be ABLE to deal with it. I know with one little boy I had in my day care, putting him on medication opened up a whole new world to him. He was SO much more settled and willing to sit and work on things that he normally wouldn't spend more than two minutes on. People were complimenting him on his work/behavior now... and he was eating it up. His self esteem went WAY up... It was such of a nice change to see. HE felt better about himself... and to me that was what mattered the most. I guess if it were me I'd do everything I could to convince my dh into at least TRYING the medication. I don't think it would be fair NOT to. Good luck and let us know what happens.

[PamE]

It is very worth while to try diet changes as well. You mentioned having to redirect him back to his work because he is constantly looking around. Is he MOVING around as well? Is he not able to sit in his sit, jumping up, etc.? Is he a very outgoing child, always wanting to be with other people? The reason I ask is because my dd was the same way though second grade and she wasn't ADD or ADHD, she was just more interested in what was going on around her than her school work!

Ds, on the other hand, was diagnosed ADHD and could NOT sit still, period. He was in constant, FRANTIC, motion. A lot of ADD/ADHD kids respond to diet changes (taking out red food dyes, white flour, sugar, etc, eating whole foods) You might even have him tested for food allergies. It's a hard place to be in, but please go with your instincts. Meds are the answer for many of the kids but not all of them. We took ds off the meds after two months of trying different doses and types because we had lost our son. He was completely changed and we decided that behavior modification (another alternative) was better than the meds in his case. I hope that you get the answers you need. (((HUGS)))

[Angie L]

thank you very much for the replies. He went to the doctor today and is officially diagnosed with add. We are on trail basis with the medication. We will see how it works. He starts taking it tomorrow morning and then again around 3:30. I am just hoping we will see a change in him. My husband decided we could try the medication because he is not only having rough time at school but also home too. Thanks again for all the replies.

[KarlaB]

Glad you guys got some answers and I hope the meds work well for you. Be sure to let us know how things are going. Good Luck! :)

[Diane]

Originally posted by Angie L
thank you very much for the replies. He went to the doctor today and is officially diagnosed with add. We are on trail basis with the medication. We will see how it works. He starts taking it tomorrow morning and then again around 3:30. I am just hoping we will see a change in him. My husband decided we could try the medication because he is not only having rough time at school but also home too. Thanks again for all the replies.

I'm glad they made a diagnosis. I hope that the medication works well for your ds and you start seeing some positive results real soon. Please keep us informed as to how he is doing. Best of luck! :)

[kat]

[i]Originally posted by Angie L I'm just hoping we will see a change in him. My husband decided we could try the medication because he is not only having rough time at school but also home too.

Angie,

Glad you got some answers, and that your husband agreed to give the meds a try. Be sure to give it time to work, it can sometimes take several weeks. Best of luck to all.