teacher vent

[JAK]

My ds goes to speech. He has a slight lisp with two of his sounds and has been going to speech now for just over a year. He's had the same speech teacher the whole time and she seems to be doing her speech job fairly well. My one complaint is that she rewards the children in her class with candy and food on a daily basis. My ds stated on several occasions that she had given him candy and he was told that he HAD to eat it in her classroom and couldn't take it back to class with him. When I asked him how often he got candy he said every time he was there. Then one day in the store he told me that they had soda in speech. That one got me really ticked off. A lot of parents don't let their dks drink soda (I do every now and then, but not at 9 am).

I really wanted to complain to the teacher and tell her that I didn't think it was appropriate to reward the children with candy/food. I felt akward about approaching the teacher about it because she is a big lady (I'd say between 300-400 lbs) and I didn't want her to think this was a weight thing. I talked to my ds's teacher and asked her who was this teacher's supervision and she told me that she'd talk to the principal. She did talk to him and he talked to the speech teacher. I kept asking ds if he'd received candy and speech and he said no. I thought the problem was solved.

Ds just told me a few days ago that around the time that the speech teacher was talked to she said to my ds "Mr. ----- told me that your mom complained that I gave you treats. It really disappoints me when parents complain about me." My ds really likes this teacher and is sensitive child. She really hurt his feelings. I called the principal myself and complained to him about what was said. He said that he didn't think that he had used my name and that she shouldn't have said that to my ds. He said he's now going to speak to the speech teacher's supervisior.

I'm just a tad miffed! Why on earth would she say something like that to my ds? Why would the principal tell her who it was? The last day of school is this week and I'm not sure I should give this woman an end of year gift... would you? UGH!!! :rolleyes: Am I wrong to be upset with this woman and the principal?

[Leigh]

I do not think that you are wrong to be upset with this woman or the principal. I don't think that this woman should have said anything to your ds, and I don't think that the principal should have gave a name. I would be upset too. As far as a gift, I am not sure, but if she did a good job, and you are giving the gift as an appreciation for the teacher's great job, then I would go ahead. (I think- I would feel the same way you do, so really it is hard for me to say)

[AnnW]

This is when you go to the teacher and say "perhaps we had a miscommunication, I am quite surprised that you would tell my ds that you were disappointed in me, we both know how sensitive he is, if you have an issue with what I said, don't you think the best thing is for us to discuss it amongst ourselves and not involve the children?" And then go on to say, "I am so happy with the progress ds is making, I know you are doing a wonderful job. I just wonder if we can accomplish it without so many sweets..ds doesn't always want to eat them but he so wants to please you. I know you don't want him eating something that he doesn't want to, so how about a hug or a high five instead?"

[kat]

I think the first miscommunication was that you talked to your son's teacher about a problem you had with the speech teacher. If your issue was the sweet rewards take it up with the speech teacher right then. Don't take it up with anyone else and don't let it slide until you're really miffed at what she's done and then take it to the principal. It could have been easily resolved in the beginning if you'd just expressed to her early on that you didn't feel that sweet rewards every time was appropriate.

[mytwokids]

I don't think your wrong at all. I really don't think food rewards are appropriate everyday.. maybe once in a while, but that's a bit much. although it was nice of her to want to reward him, I think she could have come up with a better praise. I would be upset that she found out it was you that called and that she said that to your son, maybe you should talk with her personally and tell her it was nothing against her but that you don't allow your son to have sodas and sweet treats except on occassion. I hope it works out, but It does sound to me that her heart was in the right place at the time. :)

[JAK]

I didn't get back here to see the responses before by dks left for their last day of school. Thanks for all everyone of you said.

I did send the teacher a gift to school with ds. I asked him if he wanted to and he said yes, so we did. It looks like when next school year starts he won't be in speech too long. Looking at his last scores and from what the teacher told ds he should be "graduating" not too long after school starts in the fall.

Kat- I do not see this teacher very often. I used to take a preschooler to speech and I saw her through the window once a week, but never talked to her. I have had 3 conversations with her in all the time my ds has been in speech. I should have called her in the beginning and talked to her, but really I felt like she might be upset because she really is overweight. I guess I was afraid to hurt her feelings. I guess I shouldn't have worried about that. I actually hadn't meant to talk to ds's teacher about it. We were talking about something else and I had asked her who the speech teacher's supervisor was so I could talk to the supervisor directly. She then asked me what the problem was and I told her. She (the teacher) thought I was going to complain about something else, not food, because the speech teacher has had several complaints against her (for her hygiene). The teacher then said she would talk to the principal. I didn't ask her to, I really would have done it myself. Thanks for the insight and I know now that in the future, I'll do things differently!

Ann- you are always so good with words! :lol:

[PamE]

That's great that your ds won't need to be in speech much longer! :) This is the first year I didn't know ds1's speech teacher... never even saw her face! 8o Seemed really odd.