your, mine, & ours ~ MONEY

[RCT]

I was watching the news yesterday, and they were talking about couples who are getting married....and how they really need to talk about how the MONEY will be handled....it got me to thinking...

Do you have seperate accounts, as well as joint ones?
Do you have your own Investments?


Dh and I have always merged our money right from the start of our marriage....never occured to me to have seperate accounts....it just works for us this way....

what do you all do?

[Cathy]

Did you think of me when you heard that? LOL

We're keeping some separate because of our kids, but mixing most.

[RCT]

Originally posted by Cathy
Did you think of me when you heard that? LOL


:lol: no I wasn't thinking of you, but it makes sense, that you might mix some and keep some seperate for your kids....:)

[AnnW]

We have both. We both came into the marriage with money so we have separate investment accounts for the things that aren't community property (the interest earned on them is). We also have joint investment accounts. We have always separate checking accounts with me getting with me getting paid a salary to run the house/family. Now we are doing one, and it is sort of making me crazy.

[bizymum]

We have a joint chequing account in which we use for bills,the mortgage etc........

We both have seperate savings accounts, but we share the $ in them too, mine is used for groceries and my daycare cheque gets deposited into it for this reason.

I also have a seperate chequing account which is just for Avon

[BevJ]

Dh and I both have a separate account (I actually have two, but my money for all my extensive dental work was in one...it's almost depleted now :( lol). Then we have two other accounts that we use for household stuff. We also have a savings account for ds, that we haven't put in his name yet.

P.S, all our accounts are joint accounts.

[Mickey]

We have one checking account and we are on everything together. We were both unemployed, living with our mothers and on vacation when we met and got married, so there was no reason to keep anything separate. ;) LOL!

My sister, however, is an accountant and her dh is a lawyer and they were both working and had their own homes before they got married, so they handle it differently than us and that's understandable.

[JAK]

We have 2 checking accounts, but they are both joint. One dh's military paycheck goes in and then one that I use for daycare/dh's second job. Everything we have is joint. Neither of us had a thing when we got married.

[KarlaB]

One joint checking account for us - even before I quit my job way back when. Now that I am working my meesly hours at the Y dh has said that can be 'my' money, but I'll use it for me, us, the kids, whatever. It's direct deposited in our account. Even when I haven't had an income dh has always called his money 'our' money and I have sure spent it like it's mine. ;)

[MaryL]

We have one joint account. Both mine and dh's paychecks are direct deposited into that account. All of our accounts are joint...except for our VISA cards. We each have our own account, however both bills are paid out of our joint account. (Dh wanted me to have some credit of my own...so the van and my VISA are in my name.) The first thing dh did when we got married was help me pay off my student loans. I think we had an "ours" attitude toward our money from the start.

[vea29]

As for me ...If I ever get together with someone I think we would have both a joint account for housejold stuff and sepereated for previous existing bills. I don't think It's fair for my future spouse to have to pay my student loans or credit card bills.

We also did that when I was living with my Ex.

[Lynda-WA]

We have both. Less is seperate now then when we got married. When we first got married we had seperate checking and savings, a couple for each. Since we were both military we had accounts in our hometowns and some locally. He also had investments. I had bills! As we moved we closed checking/ savings accounts and opened new ones jointly. Most of the investment stuff is still only in his name because we haven't made changes to the non-IRA stuff. Now that I'll have an income again, we'll play it by ear. Maybe I'll get my own account again.

[AnnW]

Do ya'll that have joint everything have at least some separate credit in case, god forbid, something happens to your dh?

[littlesista06]

Originally posted by AnnW
Do ya'll that have joint everything have at least some separate credit in case, god forbid, something happens to your dh?

Yes.
Dh had a home, car, etc. when we married; I had nothing.
He added me on to everything then we bought this house and two cars. I've got my own credit as well as my own checking account that is play money - trips, pool membership, emergency bills, etc. He sees his money as our money - we have joint savings, checking accounts. I think our investments are joint.

[RCT]

Originally posted by AnnW
Do ya'll that have joint everything have at least some separate credit in case, god forbid, something happens to your dh?
yes, I owned a car before dh and I were together, have my own cards ie...Old Navy, Sears...dh wasn't interested in those....we established seperate credit years ago...I think that is important!

[AnnW]

Jen, being added on to his card doesn't establish your separate credit. The card needs to be solely in your name based on your own credit history. He can stil pay the bill though! LOL

[MK]

We have one joint account, and a savings account. Both of our incomes are merged. Back when I was a sahm, though, and I didn't have any income, I collected all of his pocket change in a can, and that was "my" money, that I used for little things like yard sales when I was pregnant (looking for baby clothes), and homeschooling materials, and stuff like that. When he got sick, and didn't have income, he did the same thing with my pocket change. He also even now, pays the dks their allowance with his pocket change.

As for our credit situation, it wouldn't change much if either one of us went out.

On this same topic, how do ya'll handle the budgeting? Do you have sole control, does he do it all, or do you have kind of a partnership, with you handling part and he does the other part? Are either of you "in the dark" on your finances, not knowing what you have or don't have?

For awhile, dh was a control freak, and did it all, but he wasn't good at it, and made a lot of mistakes. He finally realized it and turned it all over to me-- and didn't want to have any further involvement whatsoever. Little bit by little bit, I began to involve him, teaching him how I do things. Now I am the primary controller-- I figure the budget, decide what bills to pay and when, and keep the spending in check so we have our needs met, and also decide whether or not we can afford extras like dinner out or a movie. He balances the checkbook (with money software and online), and keeps me informed of our balance, and what has cleared. There are a couple of things he pays online, but he doesn't do it until I tell him it's okay. He cannot spend a dime without my okay.

[MaryL]

Originally posted by MK

On this same topic, how do ya'll handle the budgeting? Do you have sole control, does he do it all, or do you have kind of a partnership, with you handling part and he does the other part? Are either of you "in the dark" on your finances, not knowing what you have or don't have?


Dh handles the actual bill paying..., and this is unusual (maybe), but I really couldn't tell you what our phone bill/utility bills are. I guess I know that we can afford them, and dh always pays them without making a comment. I surely could go and check the bills, (and of course the checkbook records) but at this time I'm in good hands with dh handling the bills. I rarely carry our checkbook (we only have one), but certainly can take it and use it whenever I need to. We tend to charge almost everything, and then we pay the bill in full each month. Our thinking is that you only charge what you can afford and are able to pay off. All major purchases are discussed...but I trust dh, and he trusts me so we don't have real "money" issues.

[darlene]

We started out young, before we had much of anything, so it has been "ours" all along. I have a credit card in my name and dh has one in his name. But all money coming in and going out goes through the one basic chequing account we have together.

As far as who is in control of finances....I'd have to say me. I pay all the bills. Big purchases decisions are made together, but routing stuff is all done by me.

:)

[KarlaB]

Originally posted by AnnW
Do ya'll that have joint everything have at least some separate credit in case, god forbid, something happens to your dh?

Yes. I have a few credit cards in just my name - one for sure from before we were even married.

[JAK]

Originally posted by AnnW
Do ya'll that have joint everything have at least some separate credit in case, god forbid, something happens to your dh?

We do have seperate credit. When we were younger we realized what a pain in the butt it was to not have a credit history. So we both opened credit cards in our own names.

[JAK]

Originally posted by MK


On this same topic, how do ya'll handle the budgeting? Do you have sole control, does he do it all, or do you have kind of a partnership, with you handling part and he does the other part? Are either of you "in the dark" on your finances, not knowing what you have or don't have?



I do it all and always have. Dh would be able to handle it if he had to, but it's just easier if I do it.

[Jeff]

Mostly joint.

all the retirement accounts are not for obvious reasons.

[Linda/NE]

MONEY~~ what a depressing topic! Had I completely realized dh's concept of financial issues I would have done things drastically different.

We have both our names on our personal, business & Avon accounts. Dh has had his own cards and I've had a couple credit cards but have since cut them up. Touchy, Touchy subject those things are.:\

I wish dh took care of the finances. The best financial shape we were in was when I was totally handling all the bills When dh got hurt, changed jobs, had surgeries, etc. and the income wasn't there the whole bill paying responsibility caused way too much stress.

(as you've probably guessed the finances is what has me stressed and anxious! I'm so tired of being broke. We're too broke to even file bankruptcy!!! LOL)